by headisspinning 49 Replies latest jw friends
Agree completely re legal action. Remember, too that the CO/DO are held completely responsible for the content being delivered at the assemblies. Include them in your cease & desist letter. Plus - there's your direct link to the WTBS.
I'm so sorry. How humiliating, hurtful, and wrong. ((hugs)) Way to keep victimizing the victim. I have no patience whatsoever for abuse.
I agree with Metatron.
The only things that seem to get the WTS's attention are the threat of bad publicity and the threat of losing money. This is the opportunity to threaten both.
A slander lawsuit based on a circuit assembly experience will (A) get everyone involved in hot water and (B) may even lead to a nice settlement for you. I'm quite sure the Society, even if they felt they had a strong case, would do virtually anything to keep it from going to trial.
Okay... I took action. I know some of you will disagree with what I did, but I don't want to be hurtful - I just want this dealt with.
My only real concern is my children and that they see that what their father did was wrong.
So, I called WT Legal. I told them the situation without revealing any personal details.
I told them I've been advised to get a lawyer but that all I want is this situation to be addressed for the sake of the kids.
They said we have to do this 'theocratically'... I told them that isn't really my concern at this point.
Then I thought better of it.
They said to pursue this through the elders. So, I called our old presiding overseer who dealt with the situation when I left my husband.
He is fully aware of the truth of what happened and knows how slimy my ex can be.
I have to say he was really kind on the phone.
He was very concerned over what happened and totally understood why I'm upset and the impact this will have on my children.
He told me he is going to handle things and promised to get back to me.
I assured him that there is nothing malicious on my end - I'm just worried for the kids.
He said an apology was in order. So... I guess we'll see what comes of this.
@headisspinning:
The whole situation sounds aweful!
I noticed one other poster mentioned a seeing a lawyer. I gathered from your OP that you comitted adultry (correct me if I am wrong). If your ex husband, or anyone for that matter, publically stated details of such in front of 800+ people, then you really might want to see a lawyer. If you have a recording of the program, then that would be best. But if you can't get it, then I don't think you'll have any shortage of witnesses to what was said.
Did your Ex-husband give details of these "issues" on stage? Did he mention you personally? Or by clear titles like: "my Ex-wife?"
Don't post any details here - I'm not fishing for details, and I wouldn't expect you to talk about them on a furm such as this. However, I would think the amount of detail given on stage is directly proportinal to the strength of a slander case.
If you have a good case and you called WT legal, I would expect them to want to handle it in-house. That's like calling an insurance company after an accident and asking if you can work it out with them. Knowing they can be on the hook for a lot of money, they'll try to dangle a few carrots in from of you and try to settle the matter for cheap.
Personally, I would want to get a recording of that program and take it to a lawyer.
MeanMrMustard
who will apologize to make this right?,,will it be done in front of the children? (I don't know the ages of the children). Though the presiding overseer may be embarrassed, how or who will apologize or clear this in any way. Your P.O. will find his concerns and pleas for an apology quite powerless. When your reputation was exploited in such a public way as at a circuit assembly, the only apology would have to be public at the next assembly. That isn't going to happen.
Your children will pay the biggest price if they have to grow up in this religion, short of the Fundamentalist Muslim, that stone women and even their own children are required to join in the stoning (a recent movie film depicting a true story).
I hope you can find a taping of your ex's part in that assembly. Suggest to the P.O. if you get a lawyer, you may have to give his name as legal 'witness' to this public slander.
My ex slanders me all the time, too. He has everyone convinced that I left him for another man - when in reality, I left him, met someone else and married him 2 yrs later.
He's on a JW dating site and has the whole sordid saga out there for everyone to see on his profile. Everyone feels sorry for him.
The way I feel about it now, I don't care what any of those people think of me. THEY should be worried what I think of them. and I know the truth of my situation and am comfortable with the choices I made. They weren't all the best choices, but I know why I made them, and what my motives were.
Hugs to you,
Palm
Metatron is 100% CORRECT!!! Use this to your advantage, do not let this opportunity slide by.
Headisspinning YOU NEED TO CONTACT A LAWYER, most offer FREE consultations, and MANY will only take money if they win. The WTS legal does not give two shits about you, and would prefer that you handle this THEOCRATICALLY - do you really think that they would agree with you and acknowledge SLANDER????????????????????
CONSULT A LAWYER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...and speak to no one else about this until you have received a legal opinion, not even the congregation or elders.
Yup, consult a lawyer and depending on where you are they may do it for free if you can't get money out of it and otherwise they will take a share of it at really no cost to you.
Off course you're going to need proof. The JW's will defend their organization and lie in court but if you got a tape or so (sometimes people tape the program for 'elderly' - see if you can get a copy).
If lawyers won't help or are too costly or you have flimsy proof, use the media with your proof, they usually like something like that.
Julia, I'm sorry about what you and your family are going through. I'm glad you are able to find the kind of support here that you weren't able to find in the bOrg.
