On Saturday, my ex husband went on the platform at the one day circuit assembly and slandered me in front of 800+ people.
My JW family is even up in arms because he basically lied and ruined any last bits of my reputation that I had left, The worst part is this was elder sanctioned.
I am really exhausted from all the upheaval so I will get right to the point. The following is what I sent to my mother:
Thank you for being able to keep the issues straight here. That really means a lot to me.
I am hurt, disgusted and mortified by what has happened.
Honestly, nothing surprises me as far as D***** goes but for the elders to allow this to happen is devastating.
You said this could be a catalyst for me... I don't know how to explain this.... it's more like the final straw.
I didn't even tell you what happened at the Memorial but I have been just sick over it....
S***** had to take J***** into the lobby because he was freaking out, crying and causing a commotion.
There was another dad with a quiet baby who was standing just inside the doors.
When the attendant came by our seats with the wine he paused for a moment at S*****'s seat realizing he had stepped out.
Once everyone had passed the wine the elders also stopped to pass to the brother by the door.
S***** was a few feet away - totally visible through the glass but was trying not to disturb the ceremony with J*****'s fussing.
They saw him out there but just ignored him and walked away.
There is no mistaking what happened. It was deliberate - very obviously deliberate.
(My sister) saw the whole thing. She was so angry that she called me as soon as we got home.
She said she had to hold herself back from yelling: "EXCUSE ME YOU MISSED SOMEONE!"
Before any of this happened we were just about ready to give up, as it was. I have BEGGED the brothers for compassion and understanding in regard to our situation.
You are more than welcome to read all three letters that I have written so you can judge for yourself whether ignoring our pleas was the loving thing to do.
Out of desperation I finally went online and tried to see if I could find anyone else who has been in a similar situation who might be able to offer suggestions on how to get them to see what we were going through.
All I found were heart breaking stories of people who have basically been sacrificed for the 'greater good'.
I know this must be horrible to read. All I can say is until you have gone through what has happened to us you just can't understand.
We have lost everyone and everything that ever mattered. Our lives and our children. Our families and our friends.
I kept hearing about this book - Crisis of Conscience. At first, my 'apostate alarms' would go off and I kept ignoring the suggestions to read it.
I was not looking for or interested in any bad mouthing. I just wanted help to deal with our situation.
Finally, I read a few reviews and realized it wasn't anything to do with arguing doctrine.
It was one man's sincere and honest story of his life.
So, I read it. My 'apostate detector' was on the whole time and I was astounded by the facts and the honesty.
There is nothing evil, wicked or dishonest in that book and I can honestly say it has changed my life.
I have been warned repeatedly not to tell any of you any of this but I feel compelled because what has happened to our family - to me, to (my sister), to S***** - it's very wrong.
I am in no way saying that adultery is okay or that hurting people is something to be overlooked.
But if can take a step back - maybe a big step back - and just look at what has happened, you will know inside of yourself that this is not right.
The key to everything is love. That's what Jesus said, right? We don't need all these rules and laws if we have love.
That is very much lacking in the organization. We have personally experienced that as a family.
Anyway, I am not trying to be a bad influence or even suggest that you read that book.
But please respect that after a very hard, long road and a lot of soul searching and prayer, I am not going back.
I fully believe in and love Jehovah and the Bible. I know he has forgiven us and I don't feel empty because I know we haven't lost him no matter what people might say.
I love you very much, Mom and you too, Dad. All of you.
I really hope that at the least you will weigh what I have said against what you know of me as a person.
AND in light of what has happened.
OH and one last thing - PLEASE know that we very much want you in the kids' lives and I pray that includes J*****.
However it would be comfortable for you to make that happen is fine with us. I don't want to make things difficult for you at all.
We also want you in our lives but we will respect the decision that you make in that regard.
I do hope that in view of what has happened you might soften your view but I realize that is probably wishful thinking.
edited to anonymize the contents and protect others' privacy ~ Scully