New simplified Watchtower

by alanv 81 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  OUTLAW

  The New WatchTower is So Dumb..

  I have to wear a Helmet when I read it..

  

  .......................... ...OUTLAW
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  highdose

  ok i'll save the writing department some trouble with this and write the simplified english WT for them...

  Paragraph 1)

  "WE GOVERNING BODY!...YOU SCUM!...WE GOVERNING BODY...YOU SCUM!"

  Question: 1, who are we? 2, what are you?

  Paragraph 2)

  "OBEY US! OBEY US! OBEY US! OBEY US!"

  Question: who must you obey?

  Review box: Who are you, who must you obey and why?
• 

  Mr. Falcon

  highdose, that is some funny stuff.
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  unshackled

  It's obvious that 'The Evil Sky' is a loose reference to Avatar...poster has a similar vibe. But the 'Running Duma' poster is less vague...actually its pretty much a direct reference of the actual movie 'Duma'. Odd that they won't directly reference the 'bad' movies - Avatar, but will directly endorse the 'good' movie - Duma.
  
  

  
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  undercover

  a quick non-scientific poll:

  When was the last time any of you women wore a full skirt/dress to a movie? mini-skirts and little black dresses are exempt. I'm talking full on field service/meeting attire or prarie dresses for cult members...
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  Pika_Chu

  Am I the only one who's having a panic attack over this? There's no way in hell this is real!
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  sd-7

  I take it there won't be any animals being mauled to death and subsequently eaten in 'Running Duma'. Didn't notice the subtle Avatar thing--and here I had a big fight over Avatar with the missus last year! 'The Evil Sky' just made me laugh out loud. They could've recycled that movie poster from a previous publication with the movie 'Menace' and the tagline 'Feel the pain.' Anyone remember that one, the guy holding up a gun and a knife with a crazy look on his face?

  Also, high dose: classic! Glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read that one. Ha haaaa!

  --sd-7
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  undercover

  unshackled... nice catch on the sneaky Avatar reference.

  Here's the movie poster:

  
• 

  pirata

  Yes, let's all go see DUMA! (Rated PG, by the way)

  VIOLENCE/GORE 4 - A swarm of tsetse flies cover a man and a boy; the man is stung all over, he becomes very ill, his face and hands become very swollen and his breathing is labored.
  ? A baboon barks a warning sound, animals become agitated, a lion chases a cheetah, and the cheetah is tackled by another lion and killed (we hear the thud, a roar and a cloud of dust coming up from tall grass).
  ? Two cheetahs stalk and chase an animal, we see them trip it and eat it (there isn't a lot of detail). A dead animal lies on the ground with a bloody opening in its abdomen, a cheetah snarls and tears at the flesh (we see the tissue being pulled), and the cheetah snarls and hisses at a boy that approaches it.
  ? A man goes into a dark cave, we hear him scream and hear loud rumbling; we then see him buried under dirt that has collapsed and covered him, and a boy begins to dig him out, but then leaves him.
  ? A boy is chased by a wild boar: the boy falls on the ground, he rolls over to see the boar's tusks and he faints (he wakes up later, uninjured).
  ? A boy leaves a sick man to go for help, he is followed by lions, but a cheetah gets their attention and they follow it. Lions approach a man and a boy.
  ? A boy and a cheetah ride on a raft through crocodile infested waters, they approach rapids, they are thrown off the raft, and crocodiles circle underneath the boy, who thrusts a spear into the water (he does not hit anything) but they get out of the water just as a crocodile approaches them.
  ? A boy hides in a tree from an animal that's snarling and snorting below him, and a large spider crawls down the boy's face but he tries to remain quiet. People scream and run when a snake slithers along the floor near them.
  ? A boy is surrounded by bullies who shove him, then push him to the floor of a bathroom and try to steal his money; a cheetah comes out of a stall and snarls at them, the bullies run away. We hear screaming and people running when a cheetah comes into a school.
  ? A herd of buffalo stampedes toward a boy and cheetah, the boy hides in tall grass and is unharmed but the cheetah runs in the opposite direction. A boy walks alone through thick woods, we see lions prowling, hyenas circling and elephants marching nearby. A cheetah runs across a street, cars swerve and honk, and a boy chases it.
  ? A cheetah chases an ostrich until it finds its nest of three eggs (the cheetah looks at and sniffs them). A cheetah chases a gazelle but does not pounce on it. A cheetah is trapped in a cage. A cheetah cub walks across a road and is nearly hit by a car.
  ? An unconscious man is treated by a tribal doctor who chants over him and places leaves and plaster on his face. A man finds a dagger and says, "This will kill anything." A man appears threatening when he approaches the camp of a boy and cheetah and the man has a wound on his arm (we see a blood tinged cloth). A man and a boy find ruins strewn with many human skeletons and skulls.
  ? A man tells a boy that they will have to eat one of their animals to survive. A boy and a cheetah are stranded in an isolated area when their motorcycle runs out of gas, and they wander until they find a crashed airplane, which they use as shelter.
  ? A cheetah cub is left orphaned after its mother is killed by lions. A boy wakes up to the flashing lights of an ambulance that has come to retrieve his father, who died. A man collapses in a field, we hear that he is recovering in a hospital and we see him later with a surgical scar on his head.
  ? A man tells a story about how the cheetah got the black lines on its face and tells of a mother cheetah losing its cub and crying so much that her face became stained.
  ? A boy pretends to break his own neck (we hear a crack and he falls limp) and a man who's with him becomes concerned. A boy plays with and sleeps with a full-grown cheetah in several scenes. A cheetah panics and jumps when it chews on a TV remote turning on the TV and changing the channels. A boy holds a snake up to a cheetah cub's nose (they just look at each other).
  ? A bush baby always looks frightened (it has very large eyes and it chirps) and jumps around. We see a boy missing his leg from the knee down.
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  Anony Mous

  The poster looks like the Protoss from Starcraft (a very popular video game even among JW's) to me (http://img262.imageshack.us/i/starcraft1xp4sn0.gif/sr=1) or maybe the Predators race from the Predators movies.

  But yes, when I first heard about the Simplified Watchtower my first thought was as well "Simpler? Is that even possible?". At first I thought with the tone the letter set they were going to announce an "Advanced" Watchtower maybe for private study or with more/better biblical references (I never understood why everything was dumbed down and never properly referenced) but then I realized they couldn't do that without shooting themselves in the foot.

  The other movie I think in real life would be filled with references to the scientific evidence of evolution.