I don't belong here anymore

by sizemik 59 Replies latest jw friends

  • sizemik
    sizemik

    These are some things I have been thinking about . . .

    When I first found this site I registered immediately ... never was a "lurker" ... and I've been here about six months.

    Everyone was very warm welcoming and I felt at home very quickly ... very pleasant at the time, but as time has progressed I look back and feel a bit "love-bombed" ... much like a religion I used to belong to.

    I have found that this site is a bit "cliquey" ... groups of posters frequent at similar times and enjoy their familiarity with each other and that's great ... but they also sometimes exhibit a coolness toward those outside their clique ... almost as if your 'post count' is the first thing by which you are "judged" ... much like a religion I used to belong to

    Some posters develop a personal dislike for others and not only jump on their threads but even deliver the odd "slap" on unrelated threads to increase the discomfort for the object of their dislike ... not unlike a religion I once belonged to.

    Some posters even follow others around the board looking to counter or use snide or clever put downs at every opportunity ... a kind of intellectual "rivalry" that was common to those in that religion I used to belong to.

    Many posters like to use 'in-house' jargon and labels eg; "newbies" for those recently joined. I find it somewhat of a 'status' labelling which was a regular and distasteful feature of a religion I used to belong to.

    The community is often intolerant of certain 'types' and displays a desire by many to shape the site to fit thier personal requirements of what sort of community they feel it should be ... very reminiscent of a religion I once belonged to.

    There exists the provision for Personal Messaging which is frequently hybridised with cryptic public expression ... a bit like 'gossip' ... my old religion was notorious for that

    Many have described the site as a "half-way house" for exiting JW's. I don't dispute that and wonder if the "half" that lies in the past (JW world) still has a strong influence here.

    People are people and maybe these things are just common to men/women everywhere ... but I don't think so. A good number here still have strong ties (family in etc) to Watchtower world and the JW religion still has a promonent place in their lives ... and I genuinely feel for them ... We were fortunate to escape with family intact and have no relatives who are JW.

    All said and done ... I am now feeling closer to my old JW past than before I arrived ... and that is troubling ... especially when I am regularly confronted by what I take to be very JW-esque mind-sets.

    Perhaps this was always the wrong place for me ... perhaps my 'life-cycle' was always meant to be short ... I don't really know.

    On a positive note ... this is (can be?) a great provision for those exiting the JW cult ... it's only real value in my opinion. I have enjoyed having the opportunity to share something of value with these ones. Also, I have met some terrific people here, and in spite of my short time here, I will remember their kindness and friendship (especially during the recent Earthquakes) for quite some time ... to them, thank you ... and all the very best

    I wish everybody well in their journey ... and I hope I haven't offended anybody by my honesty ... but I don't belong here anymore ... and I just wanted to bid farewell.

    Goodbye to you ... Murray Smith (sizemik)

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    It's good that you can move on so quickly, and leave behind all vestiges of jwanity. Bon voyage.

    S

  • cofty
    cofty

    Best wishes Murray - you have a PM

  • doofdaddy
    doofdaddy

    That was a long farewell....LOL!

    I have been around here on occasion for years and there has, and always will be cliques. They come they go. People have different needs. Many want confirmation of their opinion. They are the ones who burn out becuse it is inevitable that someone wont agree.

    Just take it for what is is, a forum, nothing else

  • jay88
    jay88

    How true!

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Best of luck to ya. The forum isn't for everyone. I wish you well on your journey.

  • BizzyBee
    BizzyBee

    Sometimes it takes awhile to find a niche. But it usually it takes time to grow into it.

    I think the commonalities you've found with the board and the JW religion are actually the social human experience. Add in the vagaries of the internet experience and being new kid isn't always easy.

    Good luck to you, Murray.

  • SweetBabyCheezits
    SweetBabyCheezits

    Take care, MS. I also hope to move past JWN someday. Wish I'd told you sooner but I enjoyed your posts.

    It probaby makes no difference but, FWIW, the term "newbies" is common to every online forum I've been in. It isn't always meant to be derogatory but I see where it might come off that way.

    Best wishes.

  • Retrovirus
    Retrovirus

    Hi Sizemik,

    You'll be missed! Hope you reconsider.

    As a non-jw (and I definitely feel like an outsider ) this place helps me understand the jws in my life. What I'm learning is that there is no jw and worldly difference - except in the minds of active jws. Cliques, gossip, judgementalism and personal preferences happen everywhere. Especially I'm familiar with them in my family, which is another reason to be here.

    What I'm trying to say is, its not what we encounter, or what it reminds us of. I need to figure out the best way of understanding and dealing with it. This is particularly important if it pushes my buttons.

    Good luck in any case,

    Retro

  • MrFreeze
    MrFreeze

    I agree with a lot of what you said.

    However, you will find what you noted in just about every forum.

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