There are two parts to this topic you can read one or the other or both if you want, i just figured i post this for differents ones who might being going thru what I am going thru i tried to write this as quick as possible so everything I am posting here is not to offend anyone I know everyone has the own opinions on different things so you can disagree or agree, but this is where i stand. sorry for any spelling errors or grammar issues up front.
my story
Through out my life of 24 years i feel like I have made a lot of mistakes which i know is apart of life we are not perfect but i feel like one of the biggest mistakes I made was leaving the organization. All of my family, and closest friends are still associated with the witnesses and I decided to take the road of selfishness and sin! I decided that I wanted to do things my way and while I dont regret my decision fully I still wonder what my life could have been if I would have just stayed. My parents provided me with a brand new car, a place to stay, and college paid for and all i had to do was follow gods commandments, I really thought I was missing out though by not being able to celebrate holidays not being able to choose who i associated with. and not being able to do things like play violent video games or watch R rated movies. Everyone to me seemed to be having so much fun and being a witness was holding me back! I was tired of being the "goodie good "I didnt want to wait til marriage to have sex. So i decided shortly after i was baptized that i didnt really care anymore and I was going to what I wanted so at 17 I decided to start hanging with some of the other youths that i went to school with and worked with and also other witness youths who shared the same desires as me. For me I loved to party every weekend we would drive all around town looking for the best parties. I started drinking alot and then started getting into drugs a little just weed tho. and i lost my virginity at 18. after i graduated high school i decided that I wanted to move out so i moved out with 5 of my jw friends. but within 6 months of living together 4 of the 6 got disfellowshiped the other 2 just stopped going(one of which is now facing 10 to 15 years in prison for drug trafficking) during the last 4 almost 5 years i have been df'd i have not been able to make up my mind on what I want to do. Do i want to get reinstated or do I want to do whatever i want? but for me that has meant weeks of me going back to the meetings and then changing my mind and going back to my old life style. For some reason I do love to party, i love to drink I love the club atmosphere, I love the way some drugs make me feel but now I am starting to notice the effects the partying has had on me. and its getting boring I want to get back into school get a career. my job now gets me what i want for the most part but I know i could be doing better! I know there is so much more to life then what I am doing now! and I truly believe that the bible is correct and that if we follow gods commands we can really live life the way it was intended and not in this short span of 70 to 80 years.
Why not go back
My whole family from my mom, dad, sister, aunts uncles cousins grandma they are all witnesses and I am really fighting to be out for what? Now that I am older I dont see life like i use to. I have learned that friends come and go (witness or non witness) I have learned that you have to love yourself and put yourself first before others because 90% percent of the time thats what everyone else doing. I feel like this step is best for me because i do believe in god. I dont believe that this world did not have a designer, just thinking how I wake up everyday and how everything in my body works in such a precise manner, how the earth is set up with the oceans and mountain and how the sun comes up everyday and i could go into detail for days on how everything is set up so perfectly around us. How could there not be a designer? that just my opinion i have never actually looked into full detail of any other argument but I know there are several scientists in the world who are required to know the other arguments but yet they still believe in god! I believe we all have a purpose and that is to serve god and this system of things that we are living in now is just a test and jehovah is going to reward those who were faithful to him. This is just my opinion but what is so great about not serving god his requirements are easy! And to pass up a possible reward just to live your life the way you want is it really worth it? higher education to find a great career is a great idea but you can also do that as a witness. Going to school actually makes it easier to be a witness because you can get a business degree learn how to run your own business so you can make your own schedule so that you can do things like meetings and service. thats what my cousin did and she is very succesful financial wise,but still puts jehovah first but she has plenty of time to take care of her family and make all the meeting and to go out in service and many other witnesses have done the same thing You want to start a family and focus all your time on them you can do this as a witness!but you will also be teaching them god commands. Me personally i will give me children the choice to do what they want but i will try to explain to them the best way possible why certain routes they should really think about going down. I know most of you have probably had bad experiences with the witnesses rather that was your parents raising you a certain way or an elder or someone in the congregation being overly or rude towards you. but you have to make the main reason you go to the meeting be for jehovah! I believe that there is a reward for us in the future if we fight for it!
Honestly make a list to yourself or on this topic if you want stating how witnesses where holding you back from living your life to the fullest!
