by brotherdan 303 Replies latest jw friends
Daniel,
Sorry buddy this is really shit, I'll keep it short:
1) You did NOT cause your wife's ill health, in anyway. Even if the situation has been a contributing factor, it's the WT that has enforced this situation, not you
2) JWs are false, don't bother with the JC, they have nothing on you, they are just people - leave them behind
3) There is no God, sorry if that seems harsh now, but as soon as you can accept that you will move on and WILL heal in time.
Chin up bud x
[Another] Dan
Remember, Dan, you don't want your sons to go through (as adults) what you're going through right now.
You are their dad. You have the knowledge and desire to help them avoid the same thing. By helping your sons break free from mental servitude, you will be doing something great with your life. Then, just think of what they might accomplish with their lives. This is something I use to get perspective on losing my JW family.
To save your boys, there's likely not an easy solution. Right now, you have to suppress some of the actions your emotions want you to take and you have to keep it together. How? Get some professional counseling, Dan. Now. That is not only a practical step towards recovery but it also would show your willingness to get help for the sake of your sons. I could be wrong but I suspect that would be favorable point in a custody hearing. (Someone who has experience should probably speak up here.)
Above all else, keep those boys in mind before you do ANYTHING. Ask yourself how your actions will affect them in the long run.
I have everying goes okay.We on this forum will help you thorugh this
This is the sick thing about this religion. We're being forced to sit around like Jews during the Inqusition.
She told her dad that it is because I am an apostate. He called the elders on me last night and told them that I was such an extreme apostate that I am giving my wife medical problems.
Dan, please re-read Lady Lee's thread on "Abusive Women and Manipulation". Don't let anybody beat you up emotionally, saying it's all your fault. Nobody is perfect, but those who try to blame somebody else instead of solving the problem aren't admitting their own faults. Please proceed cautiously, because it sounds like a very delicate situation you are in. Tell the JC you have much more important things to attend to, thank you very much, and don't let the door hit you in the butt...because that's the truth!
I'm very surprised that a doctor would tell you that you are the cause of your wife's seizures. That absolutely could not be true.
Either way, I wish you the best, Daniel.
Palm
Daniel: Feel your pain. I made the chose, The witnesses, my family (wife and
four kids) which I loved dearly. I walked , my life was hell, but I had to remain
true to myself. Each day I got up went too work, it was tough. But I survived.
Looking back today, the best move. The end results, my two sons are out of
that cult, think about your kids.
Daniel,
I'm sorry this is happening to you. You said, "My wife said she will sue for sole custoday without visitation. I'm sure the courts won't uphold that. But it still hurts." - I know it might be an emotional time for you, but given she has said this, perhaps you should re-consider moving out of the house. If you leave the house, that is, officially move out, the courts may view this negatively, as they look toward the child's best interest - which is usually status quo, or whoever remains in the residence.
Tell your wife that you love her, but you also love your son, and you don't feel that it is being exposed to the Watchtower is what is causing your wife the extreme stress.
I mean, you can tell me to go to hell too... I would understand, but I'm just saying that right now its an emotional time for you. By standing your ground, you may be able to keep your son from being a JW, and your wife may be forced to face the real demons - the WTB&TS ... not you..
MeanMrMustard
Dan, please re-read Lady Lee's thread on "Abusive Women and Manipulation".
Best. Thread. Ever. Life-changing stuff.
Hmm. This does sound a lot like emotional abuse. Be mindful of your feelings...the Force grows dark, indeed.
Wasanelder Once said politely what I was thinking, only I couldn't think of how to say "get your head out of your ass, Dan!" in a kind and encouraging way.
Your wife needs medical and psychological help. Let her have it. WITHOUT YOU.
You need psychological help. You bring unnecessary pain upon yourself and from where I sit it looks like some of it is intentional. That's dangerous. Get the help you need and let your wife get the help she needs.
You've had a lot of excellent advice from experienced members of this board over the past year and for the most part it looks like you have not followed it. Time to listen to people who know what they're talking about. GET HELP! Do NOT attend any judicial committee. DO fight for custody of your kids; do NOT forget that the JWs will LET THEM DIE rather than save their lives. And DON'T do it ALONE. LISTEN TO THE EXPERIENCED MEMBERS OF THIS BOARD.
