England is poisoned for me

by highdose 34 Replies latest jw experiences

  • dgp
    dgp

    I have never felt that way myself. I can only wish you the best.

  • clarity
    clarity

    Dear Highdose, your story has a haunting echo to it, that no doubt will reasonate with many here.

    No i'm not on holiday in this land, i work here. I live here... I live here, have a life here, a live to be led and enjoyed here.

    I hope that the "lonely pale person" that you used to be ... now has rosey cheeks!!

    Congratulations for escaping the "walking dead class"

    clarity

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    I love where we live. I have covered every square inch at sometime on FS. Our neighbours and the community in general knew what we were and know where we stand now. We have had so much support from the community. The way we were treated by the congregation has resulted any goodwill towards JW being severely diminished.

    I am glad you escaped Highdose, but for us, our little spot between Southampton, Portsmouth and Winchester is and probably will always be "home" (even if it's a wet, cold and windy one at present).

  • The Finger
    The Finger

    I lived in a sunny warm climate for a number of years but England will always be home.

  • breathing
    breathing

    god im so sorry that you feel that way, you describe it so well, and so emotionally, i felt a similar way for a few mile radius and moved out of my local area, but over several years its easing and although i would never live there again, im learning to remember the good bits too, so its not All spoilt anymore,

    but the past is gone and NOW is here, so wishing you all the best as you create your new life in the sunlight!

  • dgp
    dgp

    Highdose, I've been thinking about your post. Yes, I can relate to it.

    Not that I am criticizing you or that you have to care about my opinion at all, but, England is a nice country, and I hope the day will come when you will not let the Watchtower take that away from you.

    I remember that, back when I was younger (times past....) I had trouble letting go of things this or that girlfriend had given me, but those were painful memories. At one point, I realized that I was making myself miserable by keeping that stuff. So got rid of it. And much later, I realized that, well, I didn't have to get rid of that nice pen set, or the shirt, or whatever. It was enough if I understood that I had to move on.

    I came here because of a woman. When 2011 came, I thought I would never log in again. That would be my way to forget about anything Jehovah's witnesses. But I came back because of some discussions that are held here and that are intellectually interesting for me. I would also like to find a way to help destroy the Beast, but that woman is not my reason anymore.

    I hope the day will come when you will put all that pain behind you. You might even stay where you are :-). But I really, really hope one day you'll be absolutely free.

    My best wishes.

  • wobble
    wobble

    Hey Highdose! You dissin my 'hood ?

    I am relatively happy here, just a dozen miles or so from your old stamping ground, but boy, could I do with some sun !

    I know too, I could be just as happy elsewhere, this place does not have a permanent hold on me, it just happens to be where I am stuck at present.

    I do not actually have bad memories of being in the Borg, apart from struggling with constant Cognitive Dissonance, but as you know, the old Congo. I left was O.K as JW Congos. go, very laid back and liberal and full of big drinkers like me !

    I am really glad you have made a wonderful life for yourself in a beautiful place in the sun, why should you ever return ?

    If work becomes a problem, just take up writing, you have a natural talent !

    One day, Mrs Wobble and I will do our Grand World Tour, and we will drop in and see you, and laugh about all the nutters we knew !

    All the best to you dear Highdose,

    Wobble XX

  • thetrueone
    thetrueone

    There is no questionable doubt that leaving the JWS cult is emotionally stressful for individuals to go through.

    With all of the relationships that were enforced with other JWS, separating from this social environment is quite an emotional

    enduring hardship. So moving far and away from this environment to a place that is free of these attaching associations where these

    social relations occurred, is beneficial as it sets up a progression into a new wholesome and healthier consciousness .

  • highdose
    highdose

    thank you everyone for your replys. Tia. dalma, please re read my post, i do not say anywhere that the bad experiances were being rejected at the doors. You have assumed that for your self, in typical JW fashion i have to say. i guess the old CD is kicking in... "ignore someones genuine experiance at the hands of the JW's and adtribe it to anything but"

    To be clear, it was not my treatment by the worldly householders that was bad, it was entirly, completly and 101% the inhumane treatment i recived from my fellow JW's. And before you jump on that and assume that they must have been " bad assoisation" , no sorry to disapoint but the worst offenders were the elders and elderettes, people looked up to as the pillars of the cong.

  • VampireDCLXV
    VampireDCLXV

    @ highdose,

    That's quite a story. I'm truly sorry that memories of the place you grew up in were so awful. To some degree I can relate.

    The city I was born in (and where I spent my first 8 yrs) is a place I really have no desire to go back to. It's strange that a few painful memories of my first few years can have such an effect (and I wasn't abused or anything, just neglected by the good people of the congo). I wouldn't mind visiting, but I wouldn't want to live there ever again. The fact that it's a prairie city in the middle of nowhere doesn't help either.

    I am now here in my current home town of almost 30 yrs and I've endured my own knocks and bruises here as well. I have mixed feelings about whether I would want to leave or stay. The place I live in now is very beautiful with so much to see and do. I'm just hours away from either mountains or coast. On the other hand, I live just a few blocks from my former KH where the snakepit of a congo I used to associate with still resides. I fear that one day I might be seen by those miserable spies doing something they don't agree with and will thus gleefully rat me out. (Paranoia?) I'm not sure what to do. Depends where better opportunities lie, I guess.

    V665V665

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