SPAWN

by White Dove 53 Replies latest social family

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  White Dove

  Thanks. You would think there are underlying issues going on, but there aren't.

  It is out of the blue but follows his behavior for a few years now.

  Yes, I have an idea that cutting me off and telling her his family is dead would make it so she couldn't check out his story and he could just keep lying and lying.

  No, I did nothing.

  Yes, I am not pursuing this at all.

  Yes, I am hurt beyond description.

  No, I'm quite sure he is not on drugs as he is obsessed with getting into the military and also hates drugs, anyway.

  What liar wants their story revealed? When someone is using someone else, don't they want the gig to go on and on as long as possible?

  Hard to do if there are lots of family members willing to stand up and tell someone the real truth.

  The worst I ever did to him was make him go to school when he didn't want to go.

  I got him into counseling but he resisted and was 17 at the time, almost old enough to say no.
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  White Dove

  By out of the blue, I mean that he surprises me everytime with a new low.

  Stoop to his level? How? I'm not one of those raving lunatic moms who run after their boys and beg and whine for their love.

  NO WAY! He's making his bed and he can...however that phrase goes.

  I'm too good for such treatment, so I am rejecting it.

  I never once rejected him, though. Never once.
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  Broken Promises

  Stoop to his level? How? I'm not one of those raving lunatic moms who run after their boys and beg and whine for their love.

  NO WAY! He's making his bed and he can...however that phrase goes.

  I'm too good for such treatment, so I am rejecting it.

  There you go! You just answered your own question in your original post.
• 

  Lozhasleft

  White Dove - I wrote you a long reply a couple of hours ago but this site was playing up and lost it...annoying.

  The essence of it is that I'm so sorry about this. Betrayal and unfair rejection are terrible things to deal with. Perhaps you recall I've gone through much of the same and it's heartbreaking.

  What upset me more was the lack of compassion shown by most of the posts on here. I can't believe the coldness, and to a lovely poster who is always so supportive and kind to others. Really not fair.

  I do hope that your son sees sense at some point in the future and comes back to you. You must be devastated, I know I have been, and the pain never goes away ....we just have to carry on with our lives and hope really dont we?

  Big hugs to you x

  Loz x
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  Vidiot

  Take heart, White Dove; while it ain't really a true parallell, you still got extended family here.

  BTW, when I saw the thread title, I thought you were gonna talk about Todd McFarlane's comic book. LOL!
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  Broken Promises

  What upset me more was the lack of compassion shown by most of the posts on here. I can't believe the coldness, and to a lovely poster who is always so supportive and kind to others. Really not fair.

  Loz, you are a kind and sensitive person, and I like that about you. People were trying to be supportive of WD, but at the same time, WD has had a history of making mountains out of molehills. So sometimes it's hard to discern what are the facts (of which we had few) and what are the emotional writings of WD.

  As I said earlier on this thread, I think she answered her own question in the end. There's little a person can do if someone else wants nothing to do with them. The son and fiancee are young, so this may have some bearing on their decision to avoid WD. I am trying to give WD the benefit of the doubt, but we don't know her son's side. All we are told is that he is like his father(!).
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  Lozhasleft

  Ummm... ladies... did we forget our compassion somewhere?

  I didnt see any kindness until Vampire posted this and then a couple of posters joined in to support WD. I have never known the OP to post exaggerations and even if she did it doesnt preclude her from support on a community forum, surely?

  It isnt always easy to relate years of background when we have troubles, sometimes we just need a listening ear while we rant or grieve. I've benefited so much on here from such, and have seen others benefit too, even without lots of backstory. She didnt want us to kick off against her son she just wanted some fellow feeling...not a lot to ask for. Reminding her there's another side to the story was hurtful in my view and suggestive that she was to blame...really not needed. As mothers we crucify ourselves with guilt anyway, dont need any help with that one.

  Its easy to judge but it's not a pleasant trait and I do think we've all seen enough of it in the KHs. I dont know your story BP but I do hope you dont ever have to deal with pain like this.

  Loz x
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  Broken Promises

  I dont know your story BP but I do hope you dont ever have to deal with pain like this.

  Actually, I have. I was shunned by my father for many years over a family dispute. And no, I wasn't at fault, hence my retitence to believe just because she's the parent that she would be blameless.
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  Gayle

  White Dove, all kids are different for sure,,I know you have a loving relationship with your daughter and have proved to be a wonderful mom. Some kids are more independent, maybe demanding, more idealistic, more critical, whatever. . . . your son is very young and a lot to learn. Going into the military will get him into a lot of harsh reality. I have a son, who went into the military and boy oh boy appreciation for the home grew so much in him. In fact, we had a couple of Thanksgivings where he brought 6-8 fellow military buddies home for the weekend, (I live about 6 hrs drive from Pendleton, Marines, and his buddies homes were way back east). Obviously, him bringing his buddies here for the holidays was a wonderful compliment to me and I felt privileged. They were all so awesome and respectul. He spoke of very much admiration of me in front of his buddies.

  Then, years later, when he became a father, he advanced me to "sainthood." Funny. Remain hopeful.
• 

  thenoblelodge

  WD - I think Gayle has hit it right on the head.

  Who knows what he's going through, it's just sometimes kids take it out on their moms/dads for no reason other than they know they can. You may never find out why he's like he is either.

  I hope he realises what he's lost and for your sake I hope it's soon.