My Marriage Ending...Or Other Options

by doinmypart 42 Replies latest social relationships

  • mamalove

    doinmypart, do you go to meetings at all? Are you inactive? Just wondering what she is asking of you? What is her spiritual status among the JW's?

  • warmasasunned

    regards to you doinmypart, sometimes you have to let things follow there natrual course.

    it seems your wifes agenda is "either he comes back to the witnesses or we get divorced"

    its painful but you cant make it work if its broken beyond repair

    personally my mantra would be "i love you, i love the kids, i want to be with you, i will never stop you following your chosen course. but its not for me and if you cant tolerate that, then we should call it a day"

    take control, yes its painful, yes change is hard......... you will come out the other side a happier, stronger man.

    goodluck to you.

  • peacefulpete

    I don't know how long this has been going on but it is a big adjustment for her, don't imagine otherwise. I was ina very similar situation, you can learn from my mistakes. Remember,you have insight that she doesn't. You know how she feels but she doesn't know, or can't know, how you feel. Naturally she will imagine alterior motives or suspect the worst, at least the fears will enter her mind. You will have to rise above the petty arguing and demonstrate your commitment to her and the family. Do not make any effort to draw her from the church unless she signals she is open to it. Give it time, and don't force any issues or insist upon rights. Rights mean nothing, love means everything. Good Luck.

  • GrandmaJones

    Blondie's comments were dead-on. Ask those questions.

  • elderelite

    I think women who have a jw husband can be spoiled rotten and babies at times and have no understanding what effort and caring it takes to make a marriage work where they have a difference in religious beliefs.

    Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding!!!!!! Blondie wins quote of the week! We'd like thank everyone else for playing, you can go home now...

  • whathappened

    It sounds to me as though your Mrs. is into appearances and social structure. She doesn't want to go to the meetings alone or face "the friends" who will feel sorry for her because you left. She probably married you thinking you would help keep her in the faith and now feels betrayed. She probably wont leave you. Wait this out. Be patient with her, firm but loving. Tell her you are willing to stay with her when she has different beliefs than you, why can she not do the same for you. There are not many marriageable men in the congregation to choose from. She will not be free to remarry. She needs to think this through. She is best to stay put with a man who loves her and wants her that to go it alone. I speak as a woman who has been alone for 13 years, waiting for a husband in the faith. I'm done and am looking elsewhere.

  • mouthy

    I am so sorry that these things are spoiling your marriage.

    Someone suggested Counselling...I was a JW with a Catholic Hubby,

    He suggested we go to counselling, but the Elders told me NO!
    That would be wrong. So I cant see your wife going.If she is an
    obedient JW. God bless .Just keep loving her.
    I feel for the kids. If they are becoming or are JWs

    How sad!

  • VoidEater

    Are you selfish or honest? There's a difference.

    If she can't see the honesty, there is no real relationship to go on with.

    Just as you can respect her choices, she must respect yours. Or, again, there is no real relationship.

    To be honest with yourself and your life you sometimes have to make choices that are best for you and your well-being.

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    If my husband stopped being a JW, we'd have very little in common; then there's the fact that with so much free time that was occupied in Org stuff and with JW friends and family will now be occupied most likely in worldly things and worldly friends, where he'll most likely pick up those awful wordly manners, bad habits, expressions, celebrations, etc., the whole non-JW way of life. Nope! Definitely it'd be a deal breaker for me.

    Hopefully that'll never happen. He seems very strong and secure in it. It's our whole world and we're so very happy in it.


  • mrsjones5

    Hopefully that'll never happen. He seems very strong and secure in it. It's our whole world and we're so very happy in it.

    You like sticking in that knife and twisting it, don't ya?

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