I'm a brand new member but have been lurking for almost two years. My reasons for joining have already been covered by other posters. One thing I want to make clear to any lurkers reading this thread is that I am an appointed man. I could very well be a brother in your congregation; giving talks, making shepherding calls, leading field service groups. I say this not to intimidate you but to help you understand that there are many other active sisters and brothers with questions, doubts, and concerns about various facets of our religion. You have every right to ask questions. If what you have is the absolute truth, then it will stand the test under scrutiny. I arrived here while doing the deep personal study that JWs are encouraged to do on a regular basis. I had questions that WT publications could not, or would not, answer. Thus, I went searching. You are probably searching too for reasons all your own. Continue your search. Do not be dismayed by what anyone (in the organization or outside of it) tells you. You are the judge and jury for what 'truth' is for you at this stage of your life. Be honest with yourself and reasonable as to any new information you may find. Remember the Boreans, who took nothing at face value, but rather, tested everything they heard to see if it was true. For some, being a JW and believing all of the doctrines as published by the WTBS is a good fit. For others, it just doesn't add up. I understand the hypocritical nature of being a servant and being a member of this site. It's something that I wrestle with daily. If you are uspet by this, I ask only for your patience and forgiveness. For the present, I will continue to work hard to serve in the best capacity that my conscience will allow. At the same time, I will use this site as an outlet to exercise my freedom of speech and to keep my relative sanity under what have become for me, opressive intellectual circumstances. Who knows what the future holds?