Greetings, dear Inkie! The greatest of love and peace to you... and thank you for sharing this! Obviously, there are some who believe you to be a new poster due to your relatively infrequent posting, although you've actually been coming here for awhile. And of course, there are the ridiculers - LOLOLOLOL! Can always count on them to show their "love," yes? Spent all that time in the WTBTS... or other religions... and learned what? That they were false, but not much else, eh? LOLOLOLOLOLOL!
Anyway, I absolutely understand what you're speaking of. It used to occur with me, as well... both a knock or the doorbell. I remember it started sometime during my last years in the WTBTS. When it first occurred, I would get up and check my door, just as you did. I'd be sound asleep and then be awakened by the "ringing" of my doorbell... or "knocking" on my door. Of course, I would find no one there (or so I thought). After awhile, however, I stopped getting up. I [erroneously] concluded that I had just been dreaming... or, that if I had indeed heard the sound but, well, whoever was there just missed out because I was warm in bed and not getting up. I mean, it usually happened somewhere between 1am-4am, fer gawdsake... and sometimes it was even cold outside! So... I just began to ignore the sound when it occurred and just go back to sleep; I no longer cared if it was "real" or not because "no one" was ever there when I answered.
And then our Lord directed me to read the account of the Shulammite maiden. Now, I've never had much reason to read Canticles (Song of Solomon) other than the WTBTS' frequent referrals to it. I always thought it a lovely "story"... which it is... but not of much benefit. I didn't really "get" it. Until I read the 5th Chapter. The NIV has one of the most beautiful transliterations; however, there are some here who wouldn't appreciate that beauty (you know what I mean: most of them would probably turn red and snicker at Michaelangelo's "David", such is their "appreciation" for things of beauty...). So, I will quote from the ESV, a more practical version, with transliteration from the Hebrew :
He
I came to my garden, my sister, my bride,
I gathered my myrrh with my spice,
I ate my honeycomb with my honey,
I drank my wine with my milk.
Others
Eat, friends, drink,
and be drunk with love!
The Bride Searches for Her Beloved
She
I slept, but my heart was awake. A sound! My beloved is knocking."Open to me, my sister, my love,
my dove, my perfect one,
for my head is wet with dew,
my locks with the drops of the night."
I had put off my garment;
how could I put it on?
I had bathed my feet;
how could I soil them?My beloved put his hand to the latch,
and my heart was thrilled within me.
I arose to open to my beloved,
and my hands dripped with myrrh,
my fingers with liquid myrrh,
on the handles of the bolt.
I opened to my beloved,
but my beloved had turned and gone.
My spirit when out to him when he spoke, but my soul failed me.
I sought him, but found him not;
I called him, but he gave no answer.
The watchmen found me
as they went about in the city;
they beat me, they bruised me,
they took away my veil,
those watchmen of the walls.Iadjure you, Odaughters of Jerusalem,
if you find my beloved,
that you tell him
I am sick with love."
I came to understand this account to represent the Bride of Christ... to whom he had called out to, but they had let pass by. As a result, they were "beaten and bruised" by the watchmen [of the walls]... or, in my case, the "[men of the] watchtower." Yes, I took it literally, because it had occurred literally in MY life.
And so, from that point on, whenever I heard the "knock" or "doorbell"... I got up... and opened my door... and invite my "beloved" in. Didn't matter what time it was... how cozy I was... or how cold the night was. I got up and answered. Sometimes, I would partake immediately after; you know, "share the evening meal" with him.
I have not heard the bell or knock for some years, now. The last time was shortly after we moved into the house we live in now. When I asked our Lord why I no longer heard it, he said that it was because he knew he was "welcome" in my home, that I had once again proven that I WOULD answer when he called/knocked.
Please note, I have received calls/email, etc., from others who have had this same experience and same result. So, rest assured: you are not alone. Technically... or literally.
Again, I bid you peace!
Your servant, sister, and fellow slave of Christ,
SA
