Too many partakers in the org? Help is on the way!

by Billy the Ex-Bethelite 44 Replies latest social humour

  • TMS
    TMS

    I'm not opposed to a pharmaceutical remedy, but maybe just old-fashioned new light would do the trick. How about this? The number 144,000 becomes understood as symbolic of all of the anointed ones living on earth throughout history and up to the Great Tribulation. The professed anointed swells to a million or two worldwide. Some congregations actually now order memorial wine by the case.

    This could add much intrigue to what has become a sort of an uninspired religious group. Many who serve as elders and elderettes now realize that the new light awakens in them certain doubts that they truly had an earthly calling. They finally feel at home with confirmation of what they have ownly known subconsciously, that they were predestined as a class to rule as kings with Christ. Humbly, they accept that confirmation.

    This could also lead to the writing, printing and distribution of a whole new series of paperback Bible aids dealing with the the heavenly calling. Individual servants of Jehovah would have to prayerfully reconsider their true calling. What if entire bodies of elders were truly annointed? What a blessing that could be to a congregation! Age, sex, race or educational status would not be considered barriers to this wonderful, blessed, special relationship with Christ.

    Of course, God's ways differ greatly from man's. The humility and loyalty of both the anointed and their Great Crowd companions could be tested at times. Perhaps, a mature, seasoned elder with the earthly hope is working in field service with a homeschooled, chubby 17 year old who has the heavenly calling. The youth will defer to the elder's experience, knowledge and seasoning, whereas the elder will respectfully recognize God's selection and spirit anointing of the young person.

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    Perhaps, a mature, seasoned elder with the earthly hope is working in field service with a homeschooled, chubby 17 year old who has the heavenly calling. The youth will defer to the elder's experience, knowledge and seasoning, whereas the elder will respectfully recognize God's selection and spirit anointing of the young person.

    Or, perhaps this is where the suppositories could be used in earnest. Since the chubby 17 year old feels he knows everything, he would not willingly take a suppository. Perhaps the elders could insert them with the help of a boot to the rear.

    Maybe soon there will be "tongues as if of fire" on the heads of entire congregations.

    At any rate, Billy, I enjoyed the mental pictures!

  • 3rdgen
    3rdgen

    Billy I missed this until today. You kill me! What if there becomes a shortage of these anoinment neutralizers?

    I missed this the first time around. Billy you are the bomb! Wanna come to our house for beer, pizza, and charades? You can act out the part of the video on masterbation.

  • falseprophet
    falseprophet

    About the part that states I cannot take red wine with this product.

    Is it ok if I take fractions of wine?

  • yadda yadda 2
    yadda yadda 2

    Where do I buy these?

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    With the 2012 increase of Memorial partakers again, it sounds like WT should begin forcibly administering these in both suppository and effervescent tablet forms.

    Perhaps they should also develop these Anointification Neutralizers as shotgun shells.

  • finally awake
    finally awake

    still funny!

  • fakesmile
  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Rumor is... COs will be supplied with these to reduce the number of partakers:

    Enjoy your Anointification Neutralizer darts embedded in your butt cheeks all you nibblers and sippers!

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    Too, too funny Billy X. lol lol

    Oops, I was laughing so much, I almost typed my real name.

    Just Lois

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