My Story Part I - My Parents

by Farkel 76 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Lady Lee

  You know, before I started writing my story, I thought that someone like you would use my sharing some very personal things and then turn them on me and then judge me and condemn me because of them.

  I just saw that you posted this on another thread

  I can certainly understand the feeling. I have felt it many times myself.

  I will understand if you decide not to post your story here. I would like to encourage you to write it though and perhaps post it in the future. Writing your story can be very healing for you.

  And I believe that when you post it many more people will benefit froim it than those who might use it against you. My first 20-odd years is posted here. And yea there are some who have made nasty comments about me because of it. But there have been many more who have benefitted, including me.
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  FlyingHighNow

  Thank you for this, Farkel. I hate to think of children suffering like this. My mother had very serious problems, but she did a lot right. I am thankful for that. I wish your mother had given you good things to remember, too. Your dad sounds like he did the best he could. I was watching Private Ryan with my grandson. It is so graphic, but it's the kinds of things your father and so many others saw daily during WWII.

  I am wondering what kind of childhood your mother had that might have contributed to her abusive personality. She sounds so much like my sister who suffered many kinds of abuse as a child.
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  mrsjones5

  Yes, I have forgiven her, but for my own mental health's sake will never have any contact with her again. Five minutes with her and she can send me into a depression for days. This has happened hundreds of times and I no longer will allow it into my life.

  I have a mother like that. My husband blocked our phones so that she couldn't call me because he could see how she negatively affected me just talking to her. I have to keep away from her as much as possible. She's just not good for my mental health.
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  FlyingHighNow

  Please, continue writing your story.
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  FlyingHighNow

  If a person is super toxic, it's often best to tell them so and then keep a good distance between you and that person.
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  mrsjones5

  it's often best to tell them so and then keep a good distance between you and that person.

  I agree, but with my mother her denial is so deep that she gaslights and will take no responsibility for her actions. So I stay away.

  Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim with the intent of making them doubt their own memory and perception. It may simply be the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, or it could be the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim. Gaslighting had a colloquial origin explained below, but the term has also been used in clinical and research literature. [1] [2] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

  Sometimes I think that my mother isn't aware that she gaslights, other times I believe she knows exactly what she is doing. It's crazy making.
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  Open mind

  Dear Farkel,

  Thanks for sharing this bit of your early life and your unique world view with us.

  I truly hope you decide to continue. Open forums are messy and it hurts when you open up only to get ridicule from some.

  But on the whole, your work here is VERY much appreciated.

  My $.02.

  om