Narcissistic mothers and JW,s

by jam 46 Replies latest social entertainment

  • mrsjones5

    Sorry did not know this was posted before.

    No harm, no foul. I think this is a great topic.

  • flipper

    JAM- I hear ya bro. I have a fine woman myself who is totally opposite of my JW ex-wife too. I'm glad you are happy friend. Me too

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    That totally was my mom also. Plus my dad was not much better some but not much. Sad there are so many of us here on the board that have gone though such pain.


  • dinah

    Wow! This thread tells me that I'm not flucking up as bad as I thought while dealing with all my baggage from the JW's when my kids were little.

    I have never understood this kind of behavior, not sure I want to. What kind of woman would hurt her babies' feelings on purpose? When you have a child, you're life DOES go on hold. Who wouldn't understand that?

    Now I'm about to be 43. My kids are 17 and 14. Yes, I do kinda have my life back. I have learned so much from them.

    I think the JW's just have a problem with AGING! Armageddon is coming so we don't have to get old, we can stay pretty forever! Give me a few wrinkles and a happy life any day.

  • Liberty93

    @ MrsJones, I just meant the real extras.

  • mochamint22

    Yeah I'm definitely not talking about extras either. I too think that it is good to teach your kids responsibility. Reading all that information and narcissism traits sent a chill down my spine. thats totally my mom to the T. Here's some examples of the crazy things she has done:

    My older daughter spent 2 weeks with her on vacation and she went to the state and told them she was now the custodial grandparent and got cash assistance and one random day I get some child support case papers in the mail saying that I owe several hundred dollars to the state. She got cash assistance for like 6 months when my daughter was with her for 2 weeks. I called her asking what the child support papers were about and she had some stupid response to me, saying she would pay for "half" of it. Then she called the child support case manager and gave him my SSN# and then the money got taken out of my paychecks to pay the state back. Yeah she didn't pay a damn dime. I thought committing fraud was a DFg offense???

    When I started working at 14, she would go to the store, buy some crap and then come home telling me I owed her money. I didn't ask her to buy any of that stuff and told her to take it back, she said no and I better pay up. She would take every cent of my paycheck except $100. Being a teenager and working full time and getting 600-700 checks was like awesome money. Then to have to cash your check and only walk away with $100 after all your hard work, pissed me off. And she dared me to ask her what she was doing with my money.

    She slandered against me to all the "friends" at the hall telling them all kinds of lies. She slanders against my little brother telling the friends that he stinks and never wants to take a shower. Telling them that my older brother caught him masturbating.

    When shes mad at me, she talks crap to my 2 bros about me. When shes mad at my younger bro, she talks crap about him to me and my older bro, when shes mad at my older one, she talks crap to me and my little bro about it.

    Anytime she 'helps' you, you'll never hear the end of it, even though you've paid her back and then some. One year when I got my fat tax return, she drove me to the bank and said, "how much are you going to pay me? I think $500 is good for a start." And what did I do? I got my ass out the car and withdrew $500 cash and gave it to her.

    When I was on her Tmobile acct, she charged me half the bill, even though there were three people on the acct and the third person was paying 1/3rd of the bill- that was so that she didn't have to pay anything for her phone service.

    Her throwing away my husbands passport just to be vindictive.

    Her constantly "forgetting" her wallet so I had to shell out money if we ate out. Her putting crap in my pile of stuff at the store telling me to pay for it.

    Whenever I get the guts to stand up for myself against her behavior, she starts "crying" telling me that no one cares about her and how I'm being disrepectful.

    She thinks that she was the one that got me my current job because she sent me an email ad for a job that was with a totally different company but in the same industry.

    Anytime I come in to some money, she asks for some or asks what I'm going to buy her.

    Every year, I buy my favorite brother (my little bro) something. Couple years back, I bought him an Ipod cause he was dying for one and she refused to spend that much money for something for HIM. Then she hounded him and finally as "punishment" took it away. I told her to give it back to me then and she said, no i'm his parent so its mine now. Every game machine that came out, I bought for him cause she never wanted to buy him anything. Then turned around telling people she bought it to seem like the prize mother. I bought him a guitar for a few hundred bux one year and she made him take it back- I guess she didn't want him feeling too much love for me and she said that was too much money to spend on him. certainly not more than what he felt for her. then a couple months later, she "bought" him a guitar and then a month later told him he owed her the money for it.

    Calling me a ho when I got pregnant w/my first child and calling her a bastard.

    Her telling me that I'm being ridiculous because I am in the process of buying a home. Telling me I need to sign another contract at my apt. Why, she just can't stand the fact that I'm better off than she was at my age.

    Telling me that I need to divorce my husband and then telling me that she isn't saying to divorce him. " Do I want you to divorce your husband? No, but he's not good for you (hes not a witness) and he's preventing you from being an active witness. so you need to get rid of him." She just can't stand the fact that no matter what happens, we love each other so much and always work it out and support each other. She can't stand the thought of me actually being happy in my marriage. No, she wants me to live her life. Wants me to be her clone. Divorced, alone, raising children alone.

    Cutting me off and not talking to me for months and then sending me some stupid ass email asking me, "what's my phone number again? you know i dont call myself." just so she can start interaction with me again so she can torment me some more.

    Anything that I buy and then let her borrow, she keeps it saying I bought it for her and dare me to say she's lying.

    Anytime we do a biz transaction together, she changes the agreement and thats just my problem to deal with in silence. Anytime she does me a favor regarding money (which has only happened a couple of occasions) she has told me that I didn't pay her everything when I know I did and kept a record of my payments to her. So then I had to pay her extra couple hundred dollars just cause she said I didn't pay it when I did. The last time I did something financial with her, I set up electronic payments from my bank so she couldn't refute it and then she took offense to that saying that by that action, I'm saying I don't trust her and that she's a thief/liar. That was the last time I ever did and ever will do any type of business transaction with her.

    I mean the list goes on and on, I could continue if anyone would like?

  • Botzwana

    Mocha, Sometimes it is necessary to cut out evil from your life. Cut all ties with her. DF her. I did mine and am happier for it.

  • Curtains

    well I've read this thread with interest and the most important thing I'm seeing described are clashes of culture between mothers and their children. These clashes are distressing, no doubt about that, but it is inportant to recognize that many of the mothers described here are simply reflecting the culture in which they were brought up. In a different time and place they would be considered normal. If these clashes of culture between you and your mother are bothering you get some psychotherapy.

  • mrsjones5

    @ MrsJones, I just meant the real extras.

    What "real" extras?

  • mrsjones5

    If these clashes of culture between you and your mother are bothering you get some psychotherapy.

    You might be right but it seem to me you're taking a poor shot at giving psychologically advice and backhandedly blaming the victims.

    My mother's step-grandfather used to shoot bullets over her head when she was a small child and her mother, who had mental problems, used to beat her whenever she got her hands on my mother. Oh, and I forgot to say that my grandfather was not married to my grandmother - she was 17 and the babysitter, he raped her and my mother was the product. I wasn't raised that way so yeah maybe it was a clash of "cultures" (whatever that means).

    Still doesn't excuse my mother making me ride with a strange man when I was 17 to catch a bus because my mother is always late and caused me to miss my bus (and all the other s*** she's done to me). When I got to where I was going I called my mother and the first thing out of her mouth was "Did anything happen?" Wtf?! Oh, I should add that the man did proposition me and suggested that we could stop at a motel somewhere. I told him no. But it could have end differently and I wonder if my mother would have played the victim yet again if something bad had happened.

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