Do you feel sorry for the family members who shun you?

SweetBabyCheezits

As each instance of shunning happens to me, it seems even more ridiculous than the last.

This weekend I took our kids to the park - wife opted out, understandably - and we let our daughter call my parents to inform them we'd be there. This was my first time in the presence of my parents since our DF announcement two weeks ago.

My mom and dad were 10-20 feet away much of the time and yet they never said a greeting or.. well anything. At one point my daughter, who is aware of the shunning, mistakenly thought my mom called my name and shouted excitedly, "Mawmaw, were you talking to Daddy??" My mom just shook her head no and looked away. In all seriousness, I chuckled out loud at the sheer ridiculousness of the whole situation and wondered what others at the park must've been thinking. Kinda caught me off guard. It's so damn silly, my eight year old realizes how petty and stupid this whole shunning thing is.

But I feel bad for my mom, too, because as she was leaving she whispered to my little girl to 'give her daddy a big hug for Mawmaw.' She stands a few feet away and she communicates love via my daughter. This doesn't anger me at my mom, it angers me at this cult. Mom's not heartless, her mind has been stolen.

She's very emotional and clearly suffering from this, maybe more than we are as a family. And yet she's bound by the rules and regulations of a cult while my family and I are learning to enjoy freedom from controlled thinking. Right now I think I feel more sorry for her than for my kids.

How about you guys? Do you feel sorry for specific family members who abide by the rules of shunning?

tec

I feel sorry for your mother, SBC, yes - and I feel sad for you as well. But I have no one in to even know what shunning is like. I can only imagine. The closest I've ever gotten is a husband giving me the silent treatment.

At work the other day, there was this group of witnesses who came in. I happened to catch some of the conversation, and the one was speaking about her son (I think) and how he was still a good man who paid all the bills and took care of his family, so what could she do. She looked sad then, and the other ladies were completely silent at it... plus at that point I was really eavesdropping, so I got a strange look from them.

But it made me feel sad for her - though I could have been wrong what they were talking about. Sad for her son too.

Tammy

OUTLAW

No..

They willingly follow WBT$ Rules..They knowingly Hurt their own Family..

If it Hurts..GOOD!!..

They are one step closer to becoming a Human Being ..

Instead of a Brain Dead JW..

.................. ...OUTLAW

xchange

I don't know if I would say I feel sorry for them. I certainly understand the mentality that it takes for them to actively support the shunning. Plus their own fears of getting the big DF'ing by talking to you.

OUTLAW

Plus their own fears of getting the big DF'ing by talking to you......xchange

It`s called Self Preservation..Screw the Family..

They`re all gonna Die Anyway!..

Save Yourself!!..

It`s a Selfish JW Cult..

Run by a Selfish Organization..The WBT$..

.................. ...OUTLAW

SweetBabyCheezits

Thx, Tammy. BTW, I think sometimes my wife would appreciate me giving her the silent treatment.

Outlaw, I feel that way about some of my family... my dad to a degree, because he seems to want to be J Freakin Rutherford.... but my mom, no. It's not black and white to me. That's one of the reasons I hated the Society - so much WAS black and white to them. This is just another case where I see varying shades and my suffering mother is among the more pure-hearted innocent victims.

GrandmaJones

I am quite sure that your mom's heart is breaking. It must be killing her to do something that gives you both such pain. I have never known anyone with a disfellowshipped family member that it wasn't killing inside. A couple of months ago a sister was crying in the bathroom over her daughter. What's so sad is the tears, and her resolve to "do as jehovah says".

xchange

Yup. That's what it is. Self preservation. It's why none of my siblings will have anything to do with me. I'm as good as dead in their eyes. No. Let me correct that. I am dead already. "Don't talk to dead people!"

Hell, I was always evil to them even when I was an active dubber.

OUTLAW

SweetBabyCheezits..

Your mom has made her Choice..

She can blame that choice on anyone she wants..It`s still her choice..

Regardless of age..These people behave like Children..

They are Social Retards..

Loving your mom,does not take away her responsibility..

To behave like a decent person..And..Treat her family Properly..

Both my Parents needed a Boot in the Ass..

.................. ...OUTLAW

SweetBabyCheezits

I'm not disagreeing completely, but it's not always about self-preservation... not for everyone. My mother has been led to believe this is the best treatment to help "save" her son's life (and that of his family). This might help us "wake up"... in her opinion. I have no doubt she'd give up eternal life if it meant the four of us could be "in paradise." It is not selfishness in her case and that leads me to believe such may be true for others as well.

I realize some of you have hateful, unloving JW family members and I'm not trying to minimize their actions/attitudes. I also totally respect your view of your family, which is why I asked. But I hate to see prejudice regarding all JWs.

Do you feel sorry for the family members who shun you?

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