I feel ashamed of some of you

by Lady Lee 69 Replies latest jw friends

  • Simon
    Simon
    Thank you for efforts Lady Lee...this thread reinforces my view that you are a voice of reason

    hear hear! ... you do a great job Lady Lee and it's much appreciated

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Thank you Simon That really means a lot from you

  • 1Robinella
    1Robinella

    I personally could care less about the book. But for the others:

    Doing otherwise after you've been warned is just plain immature and stupid.

  • shepherd
    shepherd

    Sorry Lady Lee, but I must respectfully disagree with you.

    djeggnog was not providing valid legal reasoning. He was quoting from a case that did not even reach a judgment - it was settled between both parties. Even worse, rather than quoting from a Judge's summation, he was quoting directly from the prosecution lawyer. This is not precedent and a good lawyer would never do it.

    So I posted some details to rufute it. It was djeggnog who immediately attacked, saying I should reserve my 'glory' seeking comments and 'nonsense' for 'immature ones'. That was offensive and when I PM'd you about it you did not agree, which is your right.

    djeggnog was the subject of other negative posts by other members - the majority objecting to his verbose replies, self-justification and generally condescending and arrogant tone.

    djeggnog should be welcome here to post his opinions, JW or not. However, that same courtesy should be shown by him to other posters who write something he does not agree with. That did not happen, and that is why things got out of hand.

    PS Being a mod is hard work and you do a great job for the site, dealing with so many different people as you do. As for people posting links after you and Simon have asked them not to, that is wrong and I have always said in all my posts that links should not be posted out of respect for the site owner's request.

  • Snoozy
    Snoozy

    I just saw a insulting thread about JWN disappear right before my eyes..

    I know I'm not crazy..am I?

    Snoozy..

    One minute sooner and I would have been able to see what it said..darn....

  • AllTimeJeff
    AllTimeJeff

    Just a thought. When we comment on other people's thoughts, JW or not, we are projecting.

    We often say things about the world, not as the world is, but as we are. One of the most mistaken assumptions that we can make is that we are objective in how we view the world.

    We are in fact, (and imo, this goes for all of us) very subjective. We comment on all things JW here (which is appropriate) and if we are in pain, we lash out.

    There is no doubt that it is difficult, and indeed, unreasonable to expect that most exiting JW's will have kind words to say about their former faith or companions.

    And yet, as an example, if you left in the 1990's, you would have had to deal with me as a snotty, idiotic, overbearing JW, reaching out to be an elder, missionary, not really knowing what I was doing, being pissed off at my very existence. (please don't tell me if you still feel that way ) Now, all JW's hate my guts, and today, most former JW's would happily have me over for a beer, or something.....

    The fact of the matter is, there are a many GOOD people who are JW's. They are just duped, fooled. I was. It took a freight train for me to wake up. For others it takes less.

    It also stands to reason that just because you are no longer a JW, that doesn't mean you are now a beacon of light in healthy thinking or living. (said with respect for all still developing minds) Please listen to why I say that.

    I will never forget in a debate on Ronnie's board when I first left, a poster named michaelangelo45 made a statement that I can still almost quote 4 years later. Roughly, he said 'A mistake that most exiting JW's first make upon their exit is that, even though they can now think freely and for themselves, and that they can now freely express their opinions, they mistakenly think that their opinions are relevant....' (well, that isn't a quote, but thats the gist of it...)

    His point stuck with me. Yay for me, and for us. We can now spout off our ignorance, our prejudices, all of those opinions, all the feelings, that we never got to say.

    Have we considered the possibility that, esp if we are just out recently, we might need to develop, learn more about ourselves and others, before we spew off the raw emotion and opinions we have carried along for so long?

    Do we understand that we were the enemy? The people we now hate? And while not wanting to play amateur psychologist on this, you may want to consult a therapist if some self loathing you have for yourself and your JW past comes out infrequently against a practicing JW here or in real life.

    I remember being so interested in politics as a JW, and "now" I got to express all I (didn't) know. Now, even though I am still an active, thinking citizen, I have tired greatly of arguing. While the release of my opinion was healthy in one respect, on the other hand, it revealed a helluva lot of growth I had to do, and still must work on.

    It's sort of like trying to run a race after getting your cast off a broken leg. You can do it, but you will look pretty ugly limping around and most will probably wonder if your time wouldn't be better spent in rehab instead of trying to run like a trained athlete right away.

    The fact is, you and I control nothing, and this board, as VERY valuable as it is, is nothing more then a staging area for the posting of opinions by mostly anonymous people. So its probably good to realize that our little niche market of commentary on JW's is limited to the effect it has on us individually, good or bad.

    If it were me, I would do, not what feels right, but what is ultimately healthy. And that includes a right viewpoint of many current JW's. They aren't all evil.

    And just because we left doesn't make us all good either.

  • AllTimeJeff
    AllTimeJeff

    A small clarification please. :)

    I have benefitted GREATLY from the experiences and opinions of others on this board. I leave my post intact above, but don't mean to minimize the value of exiting JW's and their comments on all things JW. Esp to those who are leaving or are considering leaving.

    My main focus is how destructive anger is. Anger has very limited value. Sort of like first gear in a car, it gets you moving, then you need to change gears or you will burn up the engine.

    I know for a fact that prolonged anger is harmful to us as individuals for so many reasons, including emotional and physical health. At some point, it is healthy to move on, and at least be able to in a healthy way, leave behind the anger.

    Anyway, thats all. As I said, this board is full of opinions, and I have mine, as y'all can clearly see. :)

  • Justitia Themis
    Justitia Themis

    Lee, the "attack" mode this board has been in for the last year or more is kinda why I don't visit here much anymore

    Yep.

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    Hey LadyLee..

    Check your PM`s..

    ..................... ...OUTLAW

  • Virgochik
    Virgochik

    I haven't been keeping up with the thread due to working late, but I think it's a shame. Just because we aren't JW's any more doesn't mean we shouldn't still be good, decent people. All rules aren't thrown out and we just run around screwing others after we quit the Kingdom Hall. All that does is make ex JW's look like the monsters they say we are. Please continue doing the right thing. We all have a conscience and a moral compass. I hope, anyway. Thanks for the reminder, Lady Lee. I'm just sorry you had to give it.

    And for those jeopardizing this site, don't assume that's fine with the rest of us. I for one do not appreciate it.

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