First Date...

by White Dove 87 Replies latest jw experiences

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    A man I met at work (customer) gave me his e-mail address, so I contacted him.

    We've been e-mailing for a few days now, and it's time for a first date.

    I suggest Starbucks.

    He insists on the park.

    It's 106 degrees!

    I suggest Starbucks, again because it's too hot to walk in the park.

    He says that maybe we should cancel because the heat doesn't bother him.

    He said, "I'm a very practical man...maybe you can't handle the heat."

    This is my first Phoenix, AZ summer. We've had about 100 days of 100+ heat. I'm hot!

    I did ask if there were any alternatives that included a/c that would appeal to him.

    Waiting for an answer, but it doesn't look good.

    It sounds like his precious park is more important to him than having a female companion.

  • leavingwt

    He's a loser.

  • johnnyblazedog

    What a dork!!! Drop him!!!

  • AudeSapere

    He's making this big a stink about Starbuck's?? And Starbuck's is more public and safe than a park.

    He either is too cheap to spring for $4.00 for a cup of whatever or is too inconsiderate of your simple wants for comfort. or both.

    Dump him and move on.

    If he is too inflexible to even consider your extremely reasonable request, just imagine what he must be like with more-intimate situations~!!

    Lucky you learned this much so early on~!!!


  • Hadit

    He said, "I'm a very practical man...maybe you can't handle the heat."

    What? That right there would say stay away! Sounds like he's looking for that respectful partnership type relationship.

    Totally agree with LWT: Loser!

  • AudeSapere

    Oh! Just had another thought about this. MAYBE, just maybe, he doesn't want Starbuck's because he doesn't drink coffee and he thinks Starbuck's is just for coffee drinkers.

    A short explanation/story: I had a shy, lonely, loner friend a few years ago who griped and whined and 'Eeyore'd' that he didn't have many friends and desperately wanted a girlfriend. He's tall, dark, and cute with a nice smile and good sense of humor. Women notice him. He's in grad school. I told him to just smile and say 'hi'. People would respond to him. Also suggested that when having conversation with someone at school, invite them to 'get a cup of coffee'. His sad response? "But I don't drink coffee~!" I said, "OMG!! Are you serious??? It's just an expression. You *do* drink tea~!! Order THAT!"

    He was seriously dumb-struck. Turns out that men and women at school had many times invited him for coffee and he sadly turned them down because he did not like coffee and it never even occured to him that he could join them and order tea or water.

    Shocking social ineptness.

    It still doesn't make your friend any less ego-centric. Maybe he can be coaxed out of his own limited comfort zone and learn better social manners but maybe you don't need to be bothered with helping him. Could be ALOT of work for minimal return.


  • White Dove
    White Dove


    I just got that "heat" may mean more than just the temperature outside. I think you meant the "heat in the kitchen."

    He probably meant that if I can't handle that, then get out. Hmm...It seems like a lot of men (the ones I've met) are not ready for modern women and viewing them as equals.

  • asilentone

    My married next door neighbor tried to invite me for coffee at her home. I would not do it maybe her husband will "kill" me. (sorry I am hijacking the thread little bit)

  • yknot

    What an asinine self-assured loser...

    Hopefully he will have the good sense to stop his customer status at your job...... if not talk to your manager immediately about the situation and ask to facilitate distance.

  • White Dove
    White Dove


    That is very interesting. But, no, I've no patience to be a mother to him and teach him social graces and mores. I raised my two kids and gave up on X for that very reason.

    This guy is approaching 50! I expect a level of maturity and familiarity with how life works by that age.

    If I'm not sure how life works on certain things, I ask.

    I do feel as if I dodged a bullet with this one.

    My BS detector was going off when he suggested a place that is a good 10 miles from his and my work, and during a work day at that!

    Why would he do that? He also turned down meeting at an Irish pub. You know pubs are not as bar-ish as bars, and they have food and other non-alcoholic drinks, like restaurants.

    He seems like a freak, to me.

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