Some of you have expressed the desire to know the outcome. Well, some time have passed, and the good news is I'm making very good progress on turning to an ex-exJw, which is why I visit this site so rarely (I may resume visiting more often when it's all well past behind me, to chat, and maybe give some ill-conceived advices ).
As I said in the first post I demanded the appeal committee to allow a lawyer to be present. The elder I talked to said on the phone that he can't decide alone, and he'll have to talk it over with the others, and they'll announce me their decision. Now the rest of the story: that talk was on Friday, on Tuesday I got a phone call from an elder, that the decision was made in my absence, and they want to meet me to tell me the decision. I got really upset, and told them if they so blatantly disregard any morality and Bible principles, then I don't care about their decision.
An hour or so later after I calmed down a bit, called him back, and told him I know about my "right" to appeal further to the branch committee (the one the elders' book mentions never to tell to the DFd). The committee made at least one grave error - they made the decision without me, although I was promised they would only talk about my request for allowing a lawyer. So they can't wiggle out of this, their decision was invalid. I told this to the elder on the phone, to which he agreed, that indeed, I should have been informed first, after which they should have set another date. So, I asked, the committee made a mistake, right? No, it was not a mistake, just that... - I don't remember what he said here, but it was just pathetic he knew they messed it up, but had to follow the book, where it says no admission of error.
So the elder said they'll wait for the answer from the branch. I wrote a 2 page letter to the branch detailing the situation, and called an other elder who was not on the appeal committee (I mentioned him often on this forum, collegge professor, highly educated, always trying to balance loyalty to the org with true righteousness) - he promised to contact the DO personally to tell him about my story.
That was almost one month ago... I have not received one single phone call, letter, or anything since then. I have just asked my (stbx)wife whether there was some announcement... she says there wasn't, and she was always present. As I have said, whatever they do, it's a win-win for me... in this case I may have done something that was probably very rarely done before: with the elders having uncontestable proof about my "heresy", I have beat the system, and stopped their DF machine right at the end of its track.
Maybe it's too soon to say this, but I think someone at the top was actually thinking with his brain, and noticed they are turning me in some kind of mini-martyr. It's bad for business... so he ordered the elders to leave me alone as long as I don't spread my "lies" in the congregation (I have no intention to do so unless they ask, not because of fear, but simply all this is slipping into my dark past...); and have the elders observe me, and at the first sign of some real sin (for example marrying someone else, since I'm getting divorced anyway, and not on grounds of infidelity), DF me. This is all just a guess of course.
I have already met some witnesses who refused to greet me, but I really don't care about them any more. I'm moving on...
Edit: and tomorrow I will have exactly 1 year on this site I'm a big boy now... can stand on my own legs (I think).