Considering the fact we've had so many newbies here I thought it would be good to just open it up to you folks to see how life is going for you since you exited the witnesses ? It's hard many times to move on- however with lots of ex-witnesses on the board here who have been through similar experiences - perhaps those of us who have been out awhile can give you someideas on HOW to move on in your post JW life to make it a little easier . So fire away newbies and recently exited JW 's. Let us know what your concerns are . We're all here to help if we can. Peace out to all of you, Mr. Flipper
Newly Exiting JW's ( Last 5 years ) How are you Doing in Life? Let Us Know
Getting better every day.
I posted this on another thread,
My best advice, know that moving on might take TIME, some may need more time than others.
Give yourself all the time you need.
As a JW coming here the information, realizations, emotions can be overwhelming for most.
I think about how different my thinking has changed since first reading here five years ago.
And my association as well.
Our first associations are with JW's, then ex-Jw's, then hopefully we can carry on a decent conversation with a "worldly" person.
It takes quite some time to go through all the different passages exiting a cult.
I am only speaking from my own experience.
For all the new ones, give yourself time.
There are going to be lots of bumps, awkward social interactions, growing pains, working through hurts and reprogramming.
This board, the information and support here is invaluable.
I found that a huge adrenalin rush surges when first absorbing the information, an awakening to those that have been asleep in the organization.
It gives you the energy to make the changes that are coming ahead.
Eventually it evens out, your new thoughts and ideas, your new life levels off.
Thanks to Simon for keeping this board going.
For some, for awhile, it's the only stability they know.
Never been happier!
I'm more relaxed, a better husband and father, I'm beginning to actually achieve something in my career as I know it is worth investing into and I have time to do things I really enjoy. In addition:
Sundays are a joy not a bind.
I'm not under constant scrutiny.
I don't smack my kids anymore.
I don't carry a constant burden of guilt.
I know that whatever I do IS enough.
Oh Mr Flipper...I have a new life with a good husband now ...as I find out more and more about the 'truth' of the Org I try to come to terms with the fact that I was so deceived for so long...some days I find myself just completely devastated at the loss of my family and all the years that could have been spent differently...focused on the family for instance and not the Org....
I realise that there's no point in wallowing in regrets but some days its too hard not to...sadly its my lovely husband who gets the brunt of my pain.
Family 100 years in the Truth™.
Massive pressure and guilt building momentum regarding not raising my kids in and attending meetings.
Still lost and don't know what my next move is.
Well, eventually, 5th, you have to decide, am I in or am I out, is the pain of being in worse than the pain of being out. It helps to make plans for what might happen and prepare ahead of time. I can tell you it is not possible for things to stay the same. "fading" however it is defined, is meant to be a temporary thing to give you time to get out.
It's like straddling a fence that keeps getting higher, the pain will make you choose one side or the other.
ELDER SCHMELDER- I'm glad to hear it's getting better every day for you ! Good deal.
PURPLE SOFA- Thanks for posting these thoughts. Excellent post ! I agree. It DOES take some time to go through all the phases in re-programming and just learning how to interact socially with people without cult mind control influence. I felt a lot of anger and a adrenalin rush when I first read " Crisis of Conscience " by Ray Franz - as I felt like I had been duped or conned all those years in the witnesses. But my anger turned into energy wanting to help other people be aware who were exiting too. So I feel turning the negative energy into positive energy has helped me a great deal.
CANTLEAVE- I'm so happy for you that things are going well. I agree with you weekends and Saturday mornings have never been better ! We can sleep in- instead of harassing people at their doors ! LOL ! We can become calmer in our homelife as you have done, increase our careers and work success, AND lose the fear and guilt the WT society instilled in us. Freedom of mind is a GREAT thing !
LOZHASLEFT- I'm so glad that you have a new husband and a new life. Be patient with yourself when you go through feelings of sadness or regrets about your past JW life. I miss family too like you, it is hard for sure. My adult daughters shun me- hurts like hell, but I know in time it may change. They're in their early 20's so I keep hope. Try to busy yourself with fun activities, hobbies, things YOU enjoy doing. Do you like walking, running, tennis, photography ? What do you enjoy in your spare time ? Do it. Like the Nike commercial. Just do it. Staying busy has really helped me too. Those thoughts will come back now and agian, but I stay busy. Also I love listening to music. That helps a lot. Hang in there sis, you'll make it enjoy that life of yours with hubby in a positive fun way
Appreciate your thoughtfulness Mr Flipper thank you...this forum helps me so much....and I will take the advice on board...