To have the wrath and scorn of one's parents simply due to not wanting their religion is hard to take. However these last four years without meetings, service and guilt have been wonderful.
Newly Exiting JW's ( Last 5 years ) How are you Doing in Life? Let Us Know
5th GENERATION - I empathize with you as my JW family has been in it for 60 years since about 1951 . I was a born -in too - suffered along with my doubts from about age 30 in 1989 until I finally exited in 2003. Reasons I waited so long ? Probably same as yours, or similar. Fear of rejection by my large JW family if I admitted out loud my doubts concerning the " generation " doctrine . Guilt about hurting my then wife and young children. In time though I reached my breaking point . Was abused unjustly by elders and it was all I could take. I stopped attending . My JW wife and I had broke up anyway by 1998 - so that was a wash - but my 2 teenage daughters started shunning me due to my ex-wife badmouthing me. But my older son is out and my JW mom and dad accept my fade. So it's a mixed bag , it may be that for you if you choose to stop too. Hang in there, be true to yourself - but try to be smart and stay close to family that want to stay close to you. Just some thoughts. Hang in there dude.
BLONDIE- Good points. WE all reach our breaking point. I agree with you. It took me 14 years of doubts before I finally took the leap to stop attending meetings. It's been a mixed bag with JW relatives- but when you get to the breaking point it doesn't matter anymore . You just have to stop the pain of attending anymore
I might add that my own family has been in since 1920 and founded the local congregation. They are everywhere.
I have never been more stressed.
That's because my wife is still in, and when I quit, it was devastating to her. So it's been a very stressful ride for me since January. And it continues until now...however it seems that maybe things are making a turn for the better.
But, as far as being out of the cult - I have never been happier in my life. It's wonderful not having to listen to all thier BS. It's awesome to go to work and other places, and look at people through new eyes. When I look at them, i realize that I'm not anybody special, and I don't have any special knowlege that they don't have.
It's great not worrying about Armageddon. It's also a pretty cool feeling knowing that there are millions of books sitting on bookshelves, and lots of them were written by SMART people. And I can read these non-witness books and actually benefit myself.
So, all things considered, being out of this cult has produced challenges - but I am very happy. I look forward to a long and happy life, and hope to accomplish many things in the future.
LOZHASLEFT- You are welcome friend. It's hard to move on. But in time it gets better, I promise. Better than being stuck in the pain.
MAGWITCH- I understand what you're saying. ESPECIALLY having the wrath of parents is awful. My 25 yr.old son's JW mom will have nothing to do with him . And I have a 60 yr.old JW sister who is so self righteous she SMELLS like a JW ! Like old WT magazines or something. She shuns her 35 yr.old inactive daughter who got her law degree in college, my niece.
I'm glad you have had some happiness the last 4 years though. That's good ! Do you have non-witness children to support you emotionally or other non-witness friends and relatives to support you ? I've found it's important to have positive friends or non-witness relatives to lean on . I wish you the best ! Hang in there, it's tough, I know
Thanks Flipper! You always have a knack for making people feel better.
MENTALLY FREE 31- Wow ! You HAVE made quite a journey my friend ! I understand the tension that can result from sharing a home and marriage in which your mate looks at life through the rose colored glasses of WT society - itis . I was married 19 yrs. to a VERY fanatic JW woman ( divorced 1998 ) who judged every step I took. Nothing was ever good enough for her. That being said - If your wife is NOT a fanatic - you may be in luck as the WT cult mind control might not be as deeply imbedded as it was in my 1st marriage to a JW wife. Your wife may still have some authentic thought processes still inside. Try to appeal to THAT part of her. Her NON-JW self. Don't engage in arguments or debates about JW stuff with her - it's like pissing in the wind. Just gets all contentious. If you help her use her mind , her authentic mind - it may gradually open up. If you haven't read Steve Hassan's books on mind control- I highly recommend them. In the 2nd book it has great suggestions how to conversate with cult mind controlled relatives. Good luck !
I agree with you- isn't it great to look at people through NEW eyes ? And to know we have access as you said to tons of information out there to assist us ? Not JUST the WT society's publications anymore ? Hang in there guy, it will get better. Keep on keeping on
BLONDIE- Your JW family in since 1920 ? Wow. 90 years. Jeez. You made big strides yourself !
MAGWITCH- Thanks. You are certainly welcome sis ! Keep your chin up ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
While my ex-husband goes to his Assembly, me and my two kids are meeting up in the city where my son lives and going to spend a wonderful week together.
I'm hoping we will bond better now that we are all out. We were always too busy with "theocratic" activities before to spend much time together.
They are both excited and so am I!!
Four years and counting... Doing well, thank you very much!
More at peace with myself. More in tune with my husband. Closer to my kids, even though one is still "in" because of spouse. More understanding of others w/o the "us vs. them" JW mentality. More time on my hands for going back ro college.
Still trying to find open minded friends in a conservative town...
Life is good! :)