Have your views on gays changed over the years?

by laverite 65 Replies latest jw friends

  • laverite


    I was thinking more about the JW cultural revulsion to homosexuality recently and remembered what you wrote above. It goes beyond just an intellectual and philosophical/religious opposition. It seems to be an over the top physical revulsion -- at least with some members of my family. The problem is that there are now several gay young people in my family and they are seriously in "hiding" out of fear. The strength of the negative reaction is what scares them to death. That does not make them any less gay. All it does is help to ensure that the information is kept from the haters so to speak. And it's so hateful toward these teenage relatives knowing their families are so anti THEM and that so many of their relatives do not know the real truth about who they are.

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    Actually working with gay people changed my view of them for good. They were great to work with and very decent people who didn't harp on about sexual orientation or talk dirty or deviant: they were just normal people with normal partners living normal lives, with no reference to me or anyone else. So when the wt said stuff like not condoning their lifestyle and how we must hate it I thought, 'why? It's none of my business and they're not hurting anyone.'

    Now I've left wt and the process of acceptance is complete, I no longer use perjorative terms when referring to gay people like dyke and fruit and all the rest. It's just not respectful.

  • smiddy

    I have not read all of the posts regarding this topic , however before becoming a witness , late teens ,I had a very dim veiw of gay people ,which didnt change much when I became a witness.But then I had to modify my attitude somewhat learning my brother in law was gay.So then I adopted the stance of hate the sin but not the sinner.That being the case because their were many times we were together during family get togethers etc.

    This was during the 1960`s fast forward to now , I have come to know of quite a few " gays" some of who are ex witnesses and others through freinds and aquaintances .And I am far more tolerant/accepting than I ever was before.

    I certainly do not judge an individual on their sexual preferences. A ccouple of years ago my wife and I were celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary with a trip to the USA ,we were in LA at the farmers market ,my wife recognised an actor at the food court,i thought I could capture my wife and the celebrity in a photo without her knowing.No such luck.But she was amazing /freindly /approachable , and she allowed us to take photos of my wife and her together.It was only after we got back to Australia, who I learnt who Jillian Armanante was .My wife knew she was Donna in Judging Amy.Did my veiw of her change when I learned she was a lesbian ? No way , she was a genuine loving person in her interaction with two people she did not know from the other side of the world.She was not "plastic" she was a genuine human being expressing herself .

    One thing that really puzzles me though is why am I so repulsed when two males are shown in a sexual encounter in film or TV ,yet if two females are shown in the same situation it`s more likely a turn on ?

    I will have to go back and reveiw these posts


  • GromitSK

    Interesting comment smiddy. If I see two women having an intimate encounter on TV or in a film I find it devoid of any sexual interest, though not repellent.

  • tornapart

    When I was very young I found it more of a 'curiosity' than anything else. As I got older and the JW propaganda kicked in I found seeing two guys or two girls kissing repugnant. I still felt though, that it was none of my business what people choose to do. When I started work there were two guys that were gay (not with each other), one was very camp and the other you would never have guessed. The 'camp' guy was lovely and I liked him a lot, the other guy was horrid. I realised that it doesn't matter what sexual orientation you have, everyone is a unique individual. In the 80's there seemed to be a lot of 'gays' in the music industry and also on TV and I got used to it and got to accept who they were as people and not whether they were gay or not. Since coming on here and reading so many heart breaking stories of young gay JWs and their struggles it made me realise how terrible it is for them growing up in such a homophobic atmosphere. The guilt and shame they feel, the struggle to hide what they are and not be able to be themselves and to be loved and accepted for who they are and the fight within themselves and finally breaking free to be who they truly want to be and live a happy life, something everyone is entitled to. Now I only feel disgust towards those unfeeling, hateful homophobes who can't see the unique person behind the label.

  • laverite

    Wow, Julia, Smiddy, Gromit, and Tornapart, thanks so much for your comments. They were interesting to read, and what others I have talked to in real life have said. And, Smiddy, there's nothing wrong with feeling repulsed by seeing an exchange on TV. You sound like a really good person, so I would not question that or worry about that at all. It's your reaction and it is what it is. I wish there were more people like you and your wife in the world.

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