Ray and some others at Bethel and around the country were very conflicted in the 70s. They were given Talk Outlines and had to give the party line and at the same time they were doing all of the research that led to their exit. I can remember vividly giving talks at colleges on the Witness view of Creation (7 seventhousand year periods) eeeessh is that embarrassing to look back on, I bought Freddie's views hook line and sinker. Being laughed off the platform in front of college students was a real wakeup call that something was terribly wrong and I better start doing some homework..
We've all had to claw our way to Freedom in one way or another.