Why do I suddenly get stupid when the elders talk to me

by JWinprotest 41 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • JWinprotest

    LongHairGal - I appreciate the wake up call. Unfortunately, for my wife's sake, we've decided to try not to get disfellowshipped for now. Both sides of the family pretty much know we've given up on the WTS and the BS it's been feeding us all these years. But for appearances sake her mom has indirectly indicated that if we at the very least remain associated the relationship will continue.

    I've basically told my family that if I do get disfellowshipped, and they want a relationship with me or my kids(because it is a package deal) they know where to find me. I don't need people in my life that put conditions on my love.

    Up to this point they have not requested a formal meeting with me. Unfortunately, now that it is summer, I am outside with the kids a lot, especially Saturday mornings, and on several occassions they've stopped and talked to me. On one occassion, we were inside, they rang the doorbell and my daughter ran to the front window. I didn't want to tell her to hide and ignore who was there, because I think that sends a weird message to her as well. And I'm not going to alter my activities with the family and hide in my house like a coward just so I can avoid talking with them.

    Undercover - I think you might be on to something. Your right, I do try and anticipate the questions they will ask me, and the responses they will give me. Maybe that's just 35 years of preparing for field service in me. Maybe its time to change strategy. Hell, that strategy didn't work in the ministry either!!

  • OnTheWayOut

    ...as soon as I was faced with a couple of elders (even when I wasnt in trouble) I seemed to just speak drivel like some stupid moron.

    Perhaps you are just trying to fit in. [Ba-da-bing]

    Anyone still talking to elders knows that they can really take offense at the things said to them and decide to do something about it.
    Anyone still talking to elders wishes not to be DF'ed and it probably makes them back down.

    Also, JW's in general are trained to be use logic circles and change subjects if pinned down on a point, so it's daunting to even start saying anything they will argue with.

  • SisoNoSiso

    I feel for you, JWIP. These JW Jihadists really put a lot of effort into "appearing" intimidating. But there is an easy way to fire back.

    In my case, in speaking with several elders (some of which were COs and anointed) over my issues with the Society, a couple of well-placed questions absolutely baffled them. They stammer as if you had just whacked them in the face, then in the middle of this befuddlement they become embarrassed. This in turn quickly evolves into humiliation and then anger and hostility towards you, the one who just destroyed their schoolyard logic with a simple question. All of this happens within a few minutes.

    A key is to never lose your cool. Remain collected and level while they wallow in their defeat.

    Trust me. They will leave you alone, but only while they are plotting your demise and slandering your name to every JW they meet.

    Still, the tactic has never failed. It works every time. You will never feel "stupid" again.

  • EndofMysteries

    I have no idea what your trying to say, but I DO feel an outside force sometimes shut my mouth, or even on these online forums, I think of revealing something very interesting I recently found, but then I can't even type a single phrase. I'm taking it in a sense as training. How in the bible said don't rehearse, the spirit will give you in the right time. ALSO, how the spirit kept some from doing things as well. I'm at peace knowing that as messed up as some things are, a lot of it is part of God's plan for redemption and restoration, and I'm just going with the flow. Learning how they say in the scriptures, their conscience bears witness when they are free to do things or not. I do feel it.

  • EndofMysteries

    JWinprotest, if you do believe in God and he is intervening, may be you need to stay around there for a bit longer or some plan, and he shuts you up.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Never let them control the conversation.

    Never discuss a subject that you didn't choose.

    Never respond to a bait question.

    They have a hundred and one ways of changing the subject. Ignor them all.

    Accuse them of underhanded tactics and draw parallels to religions that they consider false if they have used tactics that they denigrate when other religionists use them. Point out any double standards they try to indulge in. Make them feel guilty for trying those tactics.

    Write a letter telling them to back off http://www.docbob.org/modules.php?name=Content&pa=list_pages_categories&cid=5

    Immunise your children Teach Your Child How to Think The WT isn't the only cult that wants to recruit them.

    Tell your parents that it was their choice to raise you in a religion that shuns its non-believing children. You didn't ask them to do that. You were an innocent child. You could just as easily been born to a Mormon, or Moonie, or Muslim and be having an almost identical conversation. If they choose to shun you, that is the result of their choices, not yours.

    Be careful


  • shopaholic

    Be in the moment. Don't think of a rebuttal while they are talking. Listen. Pause and formulate your thought. Respond.

    They are not appointed by God and hold no power over you. When you talk to them, just remember that they watch porn and interrogate people about the details of their sexual escapades and it will knock them off of whatever holy pedestal you have placed them on in your mind. Try it, you will literally see them get smaller and wonder why you ever feared them.

  • mindmelda

    Try visualizing them as they are without the suits on...usually janitors.

    I find that helps put their "wisdom" in the proper perspective.

    Not that there is anything wrong with being a janitor, but I can't think of how that qualifies you to be an authority on spiritual matters, except JW BIZARRO world.

    My dad was an elder and even he used to laugh about "Secrit Elder Stuff" which is nothing except procedure made up by the WTS. It has nothing to do with the Bible or doctrine, they know as much about that stuff as you do, maybe less, because they're so busy with procedural and organizational crapola.

    In JW BIZARRO world, elders are parental figures and we have many implanted taboos about arguing with parents, it's disrespectful, etc.

    Just remember they're all legends in their own minds and it seems to help.

    It's a good idea to de-mythologize your parents too...they're actually mere mortals who do all sorts of dumb things, and you can love them in spite of that, really, unless they're horrible nasty disturbed people, in which case, it's fine to avoid them like the plague.

  • glenster

    The best you can do is provide evidence of the JWs leaders being wrong. Don't
    bother about the followers or being a smart aleck--keep your focus on that.
    (It's like the Peter Popoff expose: the case is the radio transmitter--keep
    your focus on that). The site at the next link has my evidence for the JWs
    leaders being wrong or falsifying things in the name of acting "the few of a
    literal 144,000" exclusive.

    Beyond that, JWs can worry about harsh shunning separating them from friends
    and family, so may act like demagogues to protect themselves. Some JWs will
    look at your evidence and some won't. If they won't, and that the evidence is
    the crux of your case, that's their call and there's not much you can do.

  • Darth plaugeis
    Darth plaugeis

    Attitude it's all about the attitude. No Holds Barred. Hold back nothing. Even when I went to meetings they were nothing but men. not holy or God's voice as they may think.

Share this