It seems to me the ones who get hurt from this movement the most are those who put all their savings into this insurance policy. Because when nothing happens they are left with nothing.
That about sums what I have been thinking. Most of the ones that were in the hall with my husband and I talked the talk but did not walk the walk and they seemed to get mad at those who did walk the walk and acted like we were stupid.
I totally bought into everything. I was raised around the religion and came from a abusive home and from parents who the elders truly wised would just disappear. Being I was never really in the world but never really in the religion and being cradle taught that it was the "truth" I mistakenly thought if I tried hard enough I would fit in. I married an elder who was older than I am and who had moved to a congregation where the CO asked him to because the need was great. We lived on nothing, it was so hard being newly married and having NOTHING. I put all my trust in the members of the hall and they did not want me. I could not do anything right. Pioneered and was asked "what good was I doing?" by the other 9 pioneers in the hall, was sent home from meetings for service when my husband was not out because he was doing his elder duty. I was so alone. We went to Bethel during the construction of 90 Sands and again was accused of not doing it for the right reason by those who were working full time jobs and buying homes, new cars, etc.
I still did not get it I thought if I just tired harder, and than harder, and than harder that sometime, somewhere there would be a hall where someone would like me where I would fit in. I never fit in. Never. I had the whole congregation over to my 980 SQ foot home three time, over 90 people there was standing room only. I fed the book study when it was our time to feed the speaker every six weeks, yet the one time that I was just to wiped out to do it I was yelled at for not doing it.
While others were saving for retirement I was giving and giving and giving and finally one day I woke up and realized that no one in the religion cared if I lived or died. In fact I think that they truly wised I would die, commit suicide. I truly do believe that. My husband had two heart attacks one at the meeting, he was an elder for 32 years gave everything to the religion. Would drop me and my needs in a heart beat to be there for anyone in the hall who needed him. Yet when he was in the hospital most of the time no one was there. In fact instead of even calling an ambulance and yet knowing he was having severe chest pains they had me drive him alone to the hospital from the KH and only one couple came up to see if he was OK. He coded on the ER table.
Anyway you are right the only ones who get hurt are those like myself who are or were stupid enough to give up their life for the religion. Whenever I would bring up to my husband that we seemed to be the only one doing it my husband always told me to just keep my blinders on and look forward to the kingdom.
One day when I realized that there were three pedophiles in the hall and that I was supposed to take them door to door and that I had, had them in my home with children, etc it all just crashed down around me and I was done.
The stupid thing is no one cares that I left. I gave up everything that mattered to me because I was told I could have it all in the new system and for what? And yes I did mean to say welcome. It's just what you said really just hit home.
LITS
