What do you drink???

by Billygoat 38 Replies latest social humour

  • Billygoat

    Thought this was funny!


    Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality, based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

    Drink: Beer
    Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
    Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

    Drink: Blender Drinks
    Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the buttocks.
    Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

    Drink: Mixed Drinks
    Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; Knows exactly what she wants.
    Your Approach: You won't have to approach her, if she is interested, she'll send YOU a drink.

    Drink: Wine - (does not include White Zinfandel, see below)
    Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
    Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.

    Drink: White Zinfandel
    Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue.
    Your approach: Make her feel smarter than she is....this should be an easy target.

    Drink: Shots
    Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get totally drunk and naked.
    Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed this evening. Nothing to do but wait. However, be careful not to make her mad!

    Then there is the MALE addendum. The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

    Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

    Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

    Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

    Whiskey: He doesn't give a hoot about anything but getting laid.

    Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

    White Zinfandel: He's gay.

  • WildHorses

    I'm a mixed drink kinda gal. Long Islad Ice Tea for me.

    I don't want someone in my life I can live with. I want someone in my life I can't live without.
  • Tatiana

    Well, I'm screwed up! I like beer....MGD, Heinekin (sp.), Corona with lime.
    I like wine...merlot, chianti.
    I like margaritas..my favorite!
    I like Southern Comfort shots.

    And NO, I'm NOT an alchoholic! LOL
    And NO, I DON'T drink them all at once.
    Or even on the same day!

    "Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)

  • JBean

    Very cute! I guess champagne (my drink of choice) would fall into the wine category? Definitely NO Zin for me! : )

  • kenny2

    Gawd Andi that was hillarious. Especially the one on the guys with the tequila thing. Seen a few of those nights myself.


  • Englishman

    Hey Andi!

    Do you know why beer drinking men like women who have flat heads?


    Bring on the dancing girls!

  • Mindchild

    Andi!!!! Damn, no wonder I have a hard time getting laid...I've been drinking Diet Coke! Come to think of it, last time I was with a drinking gal we had a bottle of Hot Sex Groan...I can't even remember the fun I had.


  • BobsGirl

    I love wine ... but I think I am really a beer girl at heart

    Favorite Micro Brew - Blue Moon (with a slice of orange)

    Favorite Domestic - Liberty Ale

    Favorite Import - Sam Smith's Taddy Porter


    "May the work of your hands be a sign of gratitude and reverence to the human condition." - Mahatma Gandhi

  • Billygoat

    Englishman - why? Don't keep me waiting!

    Andi - *impatiently tapping foot*

  • Billygoat

    I mostly drink beer and wine. Every now and then I drink a White Russian or a Margarita, but mixed drinks always seem so fussy to me. Besides, I could never get the mixes quite right. Maybe that's why I didn't make such a good bartender in college.


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