What Do You Value in your Life Now that you Exited the Witnesses ?

by flipper 61 Replies latest jw friends

  • llbh
    llbh

    In addition to almost all of the things that have been listed with regards to finding oneself and no longer being in the thrall of a high mind control group, I enjoy experiencing cultural things which the wts encourage us to eschew. I am lucky enough to live near London, and regularly go for meals there, go to art galleries, see a film, all when i want to and of my choosing. I enjoy the whole scene and often find it challenging.

    David

  • crapola
    crapola

    I think I place more value on my relationship with my children. They are the ones that helped me see the light and get out, so I'm very greatful for that. And I don't have to worry about my precious grandchildren dying at Armegeddon now. What a relief!

  • truthseekeriam
    truthseekeriam

    I value watching my kids getting involved in normal teenage activities...sports, music, school dances and so on.

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    I took the kids for a long walk this afternoon, and we have decided to do this every Sunday afternoon. When I was a JW that time would have been used to attend a meeting. We would sit together but it wasn't actually time together, where we could talk and bond. So I really value the proper quality time I can spend with my family.

  • flipper
    flipper

    Wow. Did this thread blow up or what ? Thanks for all the replies ! I'll respond to the rest of pg. 2 first.

    GUBBERNING BODY- What a hilarious u-tube ! Liked it ! So true that WE count now after exiting the JW cult. Let's talk about us- and feel good about it.

    LORIJIS- I too feel time is one of our biggest gains after exiting the JW cult. We have more time to improve our relationships with spouses, family, and pursue hobbies or interests we did not have time for before clogged up with meetings and service. That's great you have more time to do these things. And wear the dresses you want ! Right on.

    QUIRKY- I'm so sorry that your wife and daughter are continuing attending meetings. I'm sure it makes it tough and lonely like you said. Does your wife or daughter like to do ANY recreational things outside the JW's ? Do they enjoy going to parks, shopping , or just walking, biking- ANYTHINg that you can do with them to take THEIR time away from the JW mind control may be a good, positive thing. Perhaps we can talk on the phone sometime soon. Been awhile since we've talked.

    JAMBON 1- That is great you are able to benefit from other people's experiences and friendships. Good for you. It feels great accepting people for what they are and planning for the future, doesn't it ? I'm glad life is good for you

  • flipper
    flipper

    LLBH- That is great you can enjoy the cultural activities of London , art gallery's ( I'm into art too ) , films, good restaurants and meals. Very true what you say- the WT society always discouraged us from enjoying ANYTHING cultural many times. I used to go to music concerts or shows as a JW and always got put down for it. Freedom is sweet !

    CRAPOLA- What a great thing for your children to help you exit the mind control of the witnesses. No such thing as an " Armageddon " so we can breathe easier it was just a fear tactic used by the WT society to intimidate and control us.

    TRUTHSEEKERIAM- That must really bring happiness to you to see your teenage children get involved in school activities, sports, music, school dances, etc. I was not allowed to do that as a JW being raised up in it from birth - I so wanted to join the high school baseball team as a freshman - my coach was dissappointed when I was not allowed by my JW parents to join the team as I was told I had the skills to be a really good baseball player. But I've made up for lost time when older ! LOL !

    CANTLEAVE- That is fabulous that you see the importance of spending quality time walking with your kids and spending meaningful time with them- keep up the great work ! You are right- when we used to attend meetings as families we weren't allowed to talk to each other during meetings so the interaction was US being preached at from the elders on the stage ; instead of us interracting and communicating as family members. that usually happened AWAY from the kingdom hall and unfortunately usually involved mostly JW topics ! LOL ! Now we can be authentic and real with our family

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life

    I'm really sorry, Quirky. I imagine that it can feel very lonely. Flipper's given good advice. Post often.

    I value my family. I mean my husband and my 3 children. I don't really have any other family except one cousin and an uncle that were never JWs. The JW relatives I don't even think about much anymore.

    But we had a really great day today. My son spoke at our church about some youth ministry type work he is doing. Then our whole family went out to brunch along with a friend of my son. We then spent the afternoon at home watching some TV and NCAA baskletball. And then we had a delicious Sunday supper of ham, mashed potatoes, broccoli and strawberry shortcake.

    No boring meetings. No field service. We dress however we want. My son has a mohawk and a tatoo. And I'm very proud of him. And I don't have to worry about any of us being disciplined for doing what we want.

    Family and freedom of thought. That's what I value.

  • Heartofaboy
    Heartofaboy

    I'm enjoying the luxury of having my own opinion on many matters without feeling guilty that it is not Watchtower sanctioned.

    I'm enjoying not having to use every daily occasion to 'witness' to people & then failing to give a 'witness' because it would have been so embarrassing & then feeling guilty because if big ole Jah decides to bring the big ole A the person you didn't witness to may have become a JW if you'd witnessed to them but because you didn't he's gonna kill them & ask for their blood back by killing you.....................phew.

    Yeah tell me about it

    I love not having to try & defend Watchtower logic.

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    So many things but the biggest would be what i call being able to live the 'authentic me'.

    no more having to fit in a square box, to always have to censure my own mind, to explore my own morality, form my own ideas... you get the picture i'm sure! That somebody loves me for who i am now, not for who they think i should be as well.

    and i must concur with all the above posts as well.

    oz

  • Lozhasleft
    Lozhasleft

    Hi

    I value

    Having a wonderful kind husband ...an atheist...but so wonderful

    Being on a brilliant degree course as a mature student

    Having new friends and family in my life who dont have 'conditional' love

    Birthdays...Xmas ...Easter...

    More than one glass of wine

    No more fear of elders and their suspicious minds

    Not worrying about field service hours

    Saturday mornings all for fun

    I have lost all my adult children and friends of 30 years but I now have my self respect and peace of mind...

    Loz x

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