My path needs to be revamped.
I do plan to have a serious discussion with elders and attend the Kingdom Hall. Where that will lead, time will tell.
I am not leaving Mitch. Even if I did become a Jehovah's Witness and celibate again he would love me just the same and I him.
You cannot become ungay. I would simply become celibate again as I did for the first 30 years of my life.
I believe the discussion board has become unbalanced to the point that a true discussion cannot take place. I see a progression of posters that I care about becoming more negative over time. I have always believed that the harsh words exchanged here between people are inappropriate for the seriousness of the discussion. This situation continues to get worse not better.
I do not believe that Jehovah's Witnesses should be mocked for their beliefs. Again, the matter is simply too serious. This is simply an application of Matthew 7:12. You can't use the excuse that they do it so its okay for you to do it, its harmful and shouldn't be done.
I do not believe that we should loosely make swipes at all 6 million Jehovah's Witnesses with rash statements like, none of them love god, or, they all hide pedophiles. I get a sense that child abuse victims are being used rather than helped with this anti-Watchtower crusade. I have no proof. I indeed hope I am totally wrong. I have received private emails from people I trust who know personally of pedophilia cover ups involving people that I have known. This subject makes me ill. I don't believe a public discussion board is the place to make accusations or for victims to seek assistance.
I do honestly feel that many here including myself have let our animosity towards the witnesses cloud our thinking about what is indeed true.
I have the same core values now that I did when I was an active witness and so do the great majority of the witnesses that I grew up with, pioneered with and served at Bethel with. They are not the monsters that are portrayed here. When you make statements like, Jehovahs Witnesses are stupid, hateful, evil, etc, you are talking about my mother, my friends, people who I love dearly and you know what, I guarantee you I ain't the only one that feels this way. Is your venting worth the harm it may be causing to someone you never meet?
I have left this discussion board three times, each time for basically the same reasons I have listed above. In each case I myself have used hyperbole and grandiose overstatement to accompany my leaving. I am a dramatic person. I feel things very deeply. I doubt this will ever change.
I don't wish to offer this as an announcement that I have once again returned. I have much to think about. I don't think that I can clearly think about these matters in the glare of public discussion.
I have received numerous private emails regarding my leaving statement. I realized that an explanation was due because of the fact that a) I love people here, b) I believe in total honesty as a core value to my being and I felt that my departure statement was not totally honest. It made it appear that I was at the end of a journey where a final decision had been reached. Indeed it is the beginning of a journey that will take me down some old paths and some new ones I am sure.
I respect Jehovah's Witnesses. I understand that as people they have flaws. I believe very similarly to Yadirf's statements in his replies to AlanF that they have made mistakes, that some of the leaders have been nutcases, that 1975 was one man's megalomaniacal attempt at glory, all of these are irrelevant to me as they would be to my mother or my friends or to anyone who is truly one of Jehovah's Witnesses. There is a core truth there that cannot be denied. I sense it. I must reexamine it. I don't think anyone here can honestly dismiss it.
I wish you peace.
Joel