Faders are indeed a very large doormat

by moshe 132 Replies latest jw friends

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga

    Moshe, you know I respect your viewpoints a great deal. On this, however, I have to speak up in disagreement.

    I managed to fade many years ago... and for the most part, kept my family. I was an apologist for many years, until I found this site and really learned how dangerous and deceitful the Watchtower Organization really is.

    Why am I still trying to stay under the radar? For my beloved family, that's why. For their safety and hope of their awakening.

    We already know that a passionate offense throws mind-control into a hard-core defense... they just dig themselves in deeper.

    I bring up Open Mind as a case in point. He was an elder with doubts... he stayed in and trickled the cognitive dissonance to his family over time. Now, he has his entire family out with him.

    THAT is why SOME of us are FADERS. For me, you BET it's worth it. One day... I can be more open... but I will still be discrete... as to potentially reach a receptive ear.

  • mimimimi
    mimimimi

    Not all of us have been on here patting ourselves on the back. Some, like me, are busy just living their lives, free of the Watchtower at last and want to leave it in the dust.

  • dissed
    dissed

    I view fading as a form of "theocratic warfare". Once you get the label Apostate attached, it limits what you can do. In war, everyone has a part. From full frontal attack, to spying and sabatage. Thoughtful fading, can cause some serious damage to the GB.

    Influencing in a bad way, those still in, can be very useful in tearing down the JW wall (1Co15:33)

  • musky
    musky

    I feel that we all have our own personality types also.We had the same personality while believing the Watchtower message.We have the same when we don't believe it any more.Some of the people that were outgoing at the hall (pioneering,Elder status,etc) are sometimes the most outspoken about telling Witnesses how wrong they are,now that they are out.

    In my own case,While I was a witness, I didn't judge others because they were not (maybe a little),Now that I no longer believe the teachings any more,I don't judge people who still go to the Hall.I don't feel it is my place to do that.I know I am not the sharpest tool in the shed.For all I know my present way of thinking is clouded.I just always try to keep an open mind about everything.I am not afraid or too proud to admit I may be wrong.

    I think you may be mistaking people being a doormat,with people who have a different personality as yours,or are just in a different situation as yours?

    Just my take on it.

  • choosing life
    choosing life

    Sounds like the same old argument about whether it's right to fade or go out with a bang. There is no right answer that fits everyone.

  • willyloman
    willyloman

    One of the best things about being an ex-dub (by whatever means) is we don't have to be judgmental any more. We don't have to condemn people for their beliefs, or waste any time trying to change their minds. The last thing I want to do is go back to that mindset. I know who I am and how much courage it took to do what I did. I know the price I paid. I'm smart enough to have figured out what my options were, and I chose the one that felt like me. I get to do that now.

    Many roads lead to freedom and on those roads there are as many stories as there are people. Learn to embrace differences and shed your toxic dub training. Without tolerance and love, you still wear the same cheap suit of condemnation and carry the same oversized bag of guilt.

  • Gregor
    Gregor

    Most of the rebuttals to Moshe are from those who may think of themselves as faders but are not. I agree with Moshe. For me, the definition of a "fader" is:

    One who no longer believes the Watchtower Society is the "truth" but keep their feelings secret in order to avoid any conflicts with other JW's such as family members. etc.

    It is rather surprising to look through the members list here and see how many guard their identities as though they were Israeli spies in Syria. I understand that internet chatrooms are not a good place to reveal your name address and phone number but the majority of anonymous here are hiding from the WTB&TS.

  • shamus100
    shamus100

    It is rather surprising to look through the members list here and see how many guard their identities as though they were Israeli spies in Syria. I understand that internet chatrooms are not a good place to reveal your name address and phone number but the majority of anonymous here are hiding from the WTB&TS

    Howdy Gregor,

    Frankly, I don't facebook, tweetor (or twitor as I like to call it), IM, or blather my life all over the net personally, and don't feel like revealing my identity is some kind of criteria here. Those who know me know I don't give a shit what the organization thinks of me, nor do I hide it.

    But I do agree with you, a lot of people come here, bitch and moan for untold YEARS and do nothing. Quite sad how long it can take for some to get fading at least. I did up a thread about it and everyone jumped down my throat, so whatevah.

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW
    It is rather surprising to look through the members list here and see how many guard their identities as though they were Israeli spies in Syria. I understand that internet chatrooms are
    not a good place to reveal your name address and phone number but the majority of anonymous here are hiding from the WTB&TS.....Gregor

    I can hardly blame them..There is a serious price to pay for some..I`m still paying decades later..

    The WBT$ "will" turn your family on you..The WBT$ will tear your family apart if it can..

    I do not begrudge anyone making preperations before they leave..

    They just may be able to keep thier family in tact..

    Thats better than I was able to do..

    ............................. ...OUTLAW

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    Shamus you make a good point..

    There comes a time to make a decision to leave..It should`nt take years and years..

    After you already figure out you want to leave..

    ............................. ...OUTLAW

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