My Dad died

by aquagirl 53 Replies latest jw experiences

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    Sorry for your loss - I hope find strength at this difficult time.

  • designs
    designs

    Sweet and gentle peace on you and your family.

    The passing of our parents is one of the big mile stones in our lives. I think of my folks everyday, wish I could just pick up the phone and talk to them again.

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    Sorry you and your mom lost your dad. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

  • zoiks
    zoiks

    Aquagirl, please accept my sincere condolences. I am sorry for your loss.

  • deep-blue-sea
    deep-blue-sea

    I'm so sorry for your and your mum. I understand your bitterness, it is justified. Those people don't care for others, but only if they have to take an advantage!

    Your father was a genuine person, standing firm in his position of integrity, and accepting you as his beloved daughter despite your position with the org.

    Receive my condoleances, take care of you and your mum.

    Claudia

  • PSacramento
    PSacramento

    My Condolences.

    May the Good Lord keep you and your family in this time of need, may he strengthen you and fill you with his love and Grace.

    Love is eternal and as long was we remeber the ones we love, they will be with us always.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    My deepest sympathy. It is true that JW's often expect the DF'ed to roll over to their stupid rules. Good for you to stand up to them.

    Since Mom and Dad have had some kind of relationship with you, I recommend that you don't release any elder information you have obtained. It just serves to piss people off including your mother. Try to just let it go, but feel free to keep answering them with "Bite me" when they say you shouldn't answer the phone.

  • Quentin
    Quentin

    My deepest sympathy to you and your mum as well, glad you were there for them...and please, feel free to be more extreme than bite me...

    When my father died the dumb dildos wanted his "book bag"....nothing suprises me about them anymore...

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    So sorry, Aqua.

    You are a brave and wonderful person.

    No wonder your papa loved you so!

    Sylvia

  • under the radar
    under the radar

    aquagirl,

    I am sorry to hear about your dad. We don't know each other, but please accept my sincere condolences. Your dad sounds like a wonderful person who stood up for what he felt was right regardless of the consequences. We need far more of his kind in the world, instead of fewer and fewer. The world is a lesser place with his passing.

    I can sympathize with your loss. Just last week, I lost my 93 year old uncle. His wife (late 80's), another 95 year old aunt, and my 85 year old Dad are all in hospitals on borrowed time even as we speak.

    I can also empathize somewhat with your resentment of how some of the holier-than-thou Witnesses are treating you. Even though I am not officially disfellowshipped or even disassociated, some in my family treat me as if I was. I am not being treated nearly as badly as you are, but I feel for you anyway. Like I told a family member who decided to institute her own private version of shunning me, "If you think that's going to make me want to come back, it's entirely the wrong approach. Feels more like emotional blackmail." I think they drive more people away forever with this callous mistreatment than they ever "shock into repentance." Talk about counterproductive...

    Anyway, besides offering my condolences, the main reason I wanted to post this was to reiterate the warning others have already posted. If the elders are already sniffing about, inquiring about your mother's "financial situation," it bodes no good. If there's any insurance or sizable assets involved, they'll probably suggest that she will at least a good part of it to the Society, or better yet, donate the bulk of it now in return for a monthly stipend for the "rest of her life." Of course, when she passes away, the Society keeps the balance. Ka-ching! How callous and conniving! Another ploy they use is to suggest you conditionally donate all you can now, but you can "get it back" in case of need. Of course, they don't explain that getting any of it back takes time and much paperwork. You can't just call in and request a check.

    One way to prevent these vultures from "robbing" your mother is for you to convince her to sign NOTHING financial without consulting you first. Better yet, ask her to grant you a Financial Power of Attorney, allowing you to manage her financial affairs if she is unable to do so. There might be other things you can do to protect your mother's assets from these blood-suckers, like having her list you as the POD (payable on death) beneficiary on any of her bank or investment accounts. That wouldn't be giving you access to these accounts now, but upon her death, they would automatically and immediately become yours to do with as you wish. Not subject to probate and certain taxes, and certainly not subject to the claims of anyone saying, "But Sister Do-good promised..."

    Thank you so much for sharing your feelings about your father and what a stand-up guy he was. And please do post as many of those "elders' notes" you can. They make very interesting reading!

    Again, I am very sorry for your loss. May you find the peace your father would want you to have, and that you so richly deserve.

    Radar

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit