How Would You Deal With A Bully?

by minimus 47 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    I will not allow someone to treat me shabbily. If someone tries to bully me, I just would let them see I won't take it. Anyone that knows me personally would think twice about bullying me.

  • VIII

    Dealing with a bully as a kid, teen or even as an adult with a person who is not your spouse it totally different than dealing with an abusive spouse.

    So, dealing with a bully who is not your spouse is as you all noted: you have to beat them up or at the very least, stand up to them some how. If you let yourself be continually beatup and/or bullied, you will lose all self-respect and never be able to pull yourself out of that hole. It is not like the movies.

    Dealing with a spouse requires intervention and help from the outside normally. That is all I am going to say--other than the JWs encourage (pressure, etc.) women to stay with abusive men. And, the JWs encourage men to be abusive towards women. It is a vicious cycle that is not talked about and hidden. Undercurrents of Islam. Makes me sick.

    Kick the bullies ass. Always.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    It is always best to avoid violence, because the outcome can be unpredictable.

    For example, a guy in a bar decides he doesn't like you, and his friend doesn't like you either. Egos get involved, and pushing begins.

    Three outcomes are possible:

    1. After an exchange of insults, each party goes his separate way.

    2. You push the other guy and he falls down, striking his head on a hard object while on his way to the floor. A heretofore unkown defective blood vessel in his brain explodes, and he dies, just as with the hockey Dad in New England a few years ago. Off to prison you go.

    3. You push the other guy and he pulls a knife - he's been studying knife fighting and wants to try a cool technique - he slashes your femoral artery, and you bleed out on the floor of the bar in three minutes. Off to the morgue you go. This is what happened in a NYC bar a couple of years ago, and the guy who died was a BOUNCER. The guy with the knife didn't know that a femoral slash could be fatal that quickly.

    THEREFORE, violence should NEVER be used casually, to look cool or tough. Better to bear a thousand insults. But if the other guy is intent on seeing you dead, all you have to do is keep asking yourself, "How can I BREAK him right now?" and keep repeating the process until he stops moving. NEVER commit halfway, because you will really piss him off and he will come back at you. Press your advantage; attack, attack, attack.

  • beksbks

    For example, a guy in a bar decides he doesn't like you, and his friend doesn't like you either. Egos get involved, and pushing begins.

    Three outcomes are possible:

    There's one more possilbe scenario Nate, the old man could come over pull out his light saber.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    That's exactly the scene I was playing off of! "I have the death sentence on twelve systems!"

    (CP/M, DOS, Windows, UNIX, AIX, SunOS, AmigaOS, AEGIS, UCSD Pascal, SOS, and BeOS.)

  • dogisgod

    Had to stand up to a couple of bullies in Jr High. They'd been taunting me for several weeks and when they layed their hands on me it was all over. I had been telling my mom about the whole thing. When the "fight" happened. On theschool bus of all places and I went over the seat and started pounding into her stomach the bus driver stopped the bus and pulled me off of her. The next day my mom came to the principals office she told him that if he couldn't keep his kids in line she would do it for him. The "bully" was suspended for 3 days and became a good friend to me. That was the only time my mom really backed me up. She got beat up as a kid and her mom marched her over to the girls house and told her to walk in and not come out until she beat the girl up. She did and that was that. Bullies are just blustery cowards.

  • dogisgod

    There was a really sweet petite sister who came to the Sunday meeting all bruised and beat up. I was astounded that the elders would not speak to her inactive husband. I was so mad that I drove over to their house and showed him my baseball bat and told him that if I ever saw her hurt again I would replicate her injuries on him. I don't know why no one called the police. They did end up divorced. We had a couple of really BIG elders he was a little shit so they could have left big impression. But nooooooooo.

  • MissingLink

    I like undercover's idea. This was my strategy:

    1) Try to disarm them by being funny. If they say "I slept with your mom last night", then I'd come back with "You might want to go to a VD clinic for a check, my mom is a whore!". Totally take the wind out of their sails.

    2) NEVER back down! If it came to a fight (and it usually did), then fight to your last breath. I took my fair share of beat-downs and stabbings, but I never admitted "defeat".

  • Think About It
    Think About It

    At 14 I had a paper route. One night when I was collecting the money from my route customers 2 thugs attempted to rob me. I was always affraid of these guys, so the fight or flight reflex said flight. When I turned to run the one guy hit me across the back with a chain. The fight reflex then kicked in and I turned around and beat the $hit out of both of them. They never bothered me again.

    I've had some good discussions with JW's on the fight or turn the other cheek issue.

    Think About It

  • LittleSister

    I was bullied at primary school for years, but didn't retaliate like a good Christian until I couldn't take anymore and slapped her round the face. After that she never bullied me again.

    I was later bullied by my manager at work and so I made good friends with her boss and she left me alone after that.

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