I always felt like I was not a "spiritual" person because I loathed going in field service. I'm not even sure why I loathed it. I am very outgoing and can talk to anyone, anytime, about anything. so, it wasn't that. I loved God (at the time), so it wasn't that. I don't know, something about field service just didn't feel right. And, I REALLY tried. I didn't play any of the games that I saw others play, like pioneers who would start their time with a "return visit" right near their house so that they could count all the driving time as time in field service. Or, like taking 30 minute coffee breaks and counting the time by putting a Watchtower magazine out where people could see it. I really tried to "put in time". But, invariably I would end up with 10 hours or so just so that I wasn't "marked" as not being spiritual. About two years before I left the cult I said "I can't do this anymore" and I stopped going in field service altogether.
The idea of selling magazines and calling it preaching just made me feel like I was hit in the stomach with a baseball bat.
I don't know that many ex-JWs but it seems like one thing we all have in common was a strong distaste for field service. I wonder if it is because we all knew deep down inside that it is disingenuous, that it is not at all like the preaching that the apostles did.
What was your experience with field service?