What should I do?

by Scorpion 61 Replies latest jw friends

  • Ozzygal

    Hey! Jehovah knows what is truly in your heart. Don't worry about the comments of men who are only interested in the Congregation statistics.

    Show your family the love they need.

  • Scorpion


    I have never really looked at it that way, a statistic. I was trying so hard I thought, to what what is right in Jehovahs eyes that I failed to see what Jehovah was showing me. My family, I truly have neglected in many ways. Even though I was there physically, mentally and emotionally I was not.

    My wife needed help at times when I was out in service. I would come home at times so tired that I would not even pay attention to my kids. I was trying so hard to get the number of hours I needed to be a good pioneer for Jehovah. It seems the only time I actually spend time with the kids is at the meetings and studying for the next meeting.
    My wife helped the kids with all the school homework as well as taking them to an occasional show or the zoo or a ball game. I feel like crying right now as I type this.

    Thank you for your help

  • Scorpion


    Tommorrow is Saturday and I am spending the whole day with my family. I am taking them to the park and visit some relatives. I have not missed Saturday service in two years from what I remember. I know even though I am with my family, I will still feel an empty feeling from not going out in service. I feel as if I am not doing the right thing some how. I hope this feeling goes away and I can enjoy my family with out the guilt of missing a day of service.

    I enjoy your posts. Thank you.

  • waiting

    SC, I've read time and again, from brothers and sisters, in different situations, the main overriding emotion of doing something which is of our own thinking - is the emotion of guilt.

    I really hope you enjoy your little ones and your pretty wife immensely Saturday. The rest of the world will get along as it always does.

  • Dubby

    Hi SC!

    I've been plagued by guilt also lately. Should we feel guilty for not living up to what the Watchtower says? 90 percent of what they tell us is their interpretation of the bible. Loving God in our situations means taking care of our families and ourselves and those we can help within our own abilities and situations. We shouldn't feel guilty for not living up to what some MEN tell us to do.

    Oh, the FDS(?) will tell us to do what we can do to are utmost ability, but their standards and rules are man made. Somehow, they constantly make us feel that we should be doing more. There are more ways to help people than going door to door and going to meetings. This is how they keep us indoctrinated. I'm tired of it. I feel like I can help people in more realistic ways. I don't have time because of all the meetings and service.

    Let's face it, we are told that life is a free gift, but as a JW we have to earn it.

    Edited by - Dubby on 20 May 2000 19:31:1

  • RedhorseWoman

    Today I took my dogs to the vet. I hugged them and let them know how good and brave they were.

    I did some gardening. As I hoed and raked and weeded and planted I thanked Jehovah for the cool day and the light rain that would help the plants grow....I felt close to Him.

    I did not go out in service.....I somehow felt, however, that doing what I did today pleased Him more than pushing magazines.

  • Scorpion


    It's funny you used the term pushing magazines. One of the elders in my congregation used that same term this Sunday at the meeting. I was a bit surprised. He is the only one that really backed my decision to stop pioneering and spend more time with my family. Three of the other elders I spoke with seemed dissapointed.

    I bet you have one monster vet bill.

  • Scorpion


    Yes, my family and I had a great day. We even visited an old friend and his family we have not seen for awhile. We had a few beers and stayed for a barbaque and went swimming in his pool. The kids had a blast. My wife was even a little more affectionate than usual if you know what I mean. ;-)

  • Scorpion


    I believe that Jehovah gave us the gift of everlasting life through his son Jesus, this gift is something no man or religion can give.

    But we know that the Son of God has come, and he has given us intellectual capacity that we may gain the knowledge of the true one. And we are in union with the true one, by means of his Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God and life everlasting. 1 John 5:20

    We cannot earn something that Jehovah has given freely through his Son.

    I become tired at times too because of all the meetings and duties. It sounds like you need a bit of a break also.

  • waiting

    SC, yes, I do (remember) know what you mean. And I'm glad your family had such a good Saturday with old friends - memories really are made of the stuff such as this!

    Don't worry about your elder's opinion, if their so worried about pioneering - let them do it to help you out. Perhaps they are already, but I doubt it, and even if they are - that does not mean you have to. It's supposed to be a given time - not something you feel you guiltily have to do. Jehovah does not demand it of us - where is it in the Bible?

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