confused, scared and worst of all, teenager.

by torn in two son 37 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • xmkx

    Hi Torn in Two. I was a third generation JW that DAed myself when I was 15 because my conscience was bothering me more than I could handle. My family was very hardcore as well so I can relate to you on many levels. I know you feel really lost and confused right now... I did too. However getting out at that age was one of the best decisions I have made in my life. I am now in my late twenties and have known more blessings than I probably could have ever expected to have while inside the organization.

    You are indeed very lucky that your family left with you. Giving up the only reality you have known in your life as a teenager is hard enough without dealing with family pressure as well.

    Being scared and confused is very natural at this point. It's also natural to be skeptical of and even angry at God. The discomfort is going to last a while, but unlike the discomfort you dealt with as a JW, this is a good kind of discomfort. You've just realized that no one has all the answers and there's no real how-to guide to life so of course you're going to be uncomfortable for a while and not know which way is up and which is down. Eventually though you will start to see the beauty in the freedom that comes with that realization and life will start to look better than you ever imagined it could be because you will realize that the ultimate "truth" lies within you and no one else.

    Your personal relationships are going to be topsy turvy for a bit. It's great that you have at least one "worldly" friend that you can confide in and don't have to worry about shunning with. And your JW friends might surprise you one day - I have several from my youth that I am in contact with that are no longer JWs themselves.

    I wish you the best of luck on your new journey! Just be patient. It takes time to get all the kinks worked out.

  • the real life
    the real life


    It's hard losing old friends when you are young. I have very little to no contact with most of my childhood best friends. But I've found that post-JW friendships can be even more meaningful because they are based on a lot more than shared false beliefs. You have a great family. I'm happy you are all on the same page now! That should help.

    I agree with L4P - it's usually better to say as little as possible to JDubs, to avoid wreaking havoc. Try to lay low for a little while, but enjoy you're life! Make new friends, enjoy spending time with your girlfriend, get involved in all kinds of activities. Now that you're out, you can really get to know who you are and develop your talents and figure out what makes you happy and how you can use your personality traits to help others. The best is yet to come! You're young enough that in a couple of years, you might have a hard time even remembering what it was like to be a witness. I feel like that sometimes and I've only been out for about 3 years.



    Torn In Two Son..




  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Ah jeez.

    Leave now my son and never come back.

    These folks are from the Debil.

    Welcome to the dark, err, light side.

    Thanks to everyone who's responded so far and keep the good thoughts coming.

    Oh, and, don't forget TITS, you've got a kitchen to clean up before the night is over!


    p.s. All light-hearted 14-year-old jesting aside, I'm here for you 24/7. And so are many others.

  • OnTheWayOut

    My dad woke up about 3 years ago and said nothing.

    I knew from sentence one that you were Son of Open Mind. Dad did the best he could and wanted to be sure that none of you were left behind. I hope that you focus on the road ahead more than the road behind. Your JW past will always always always always always always have an effect on you. You will think about the JW's when you vote, on your birthday, every Easter vs. Memorial, every single holiday.

    Life will not be an instant rose garden, but think of how you will vote, have a birthday present, enjoy some holidays.

    Being a teen is the best of all, not the worst. It's a tough time, but you have so much ahead of you. Enjoy the ride.

    I don't have it all figured out either, but I am halfway to ninety. I would rather be confused at 14 than 45.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Welcome Torn!

    It's been a long time since I was a teenager. I wish I would have woken up back at that age. I spent many years of my life in Bethel and had the 'privilege' to know many of the GB personally. Torn, don't waste years of your life slavishly following what that bunch of clueless old farts in Brooklyn would try to tell you to do.

  • BabaYaga

    Hello, welcome, and big hugs to you, Torn In Two Son! We are so happy to have you here.

    Things are moving very, very fast for you indeed... but just take deep breaths and be good to yourself. Talk things out with those who can let you vent a little (it sounds like you have a good support group around you already, so you're good there.)

    Don't rush into anything, and don't beat yourself up. Take the time you need. Relax. I promise you it all gets easier and better. You'd be amazed what realizations you can find if you just quiet your mind and listen to the true voice within you.

    We love your Dad here, and we already feel you are part of the "family".


  • asilentone

    Can I see some Tits?

  • freewilly01

    Your an awesome young person, way in tune for your age!

    I love that your family is actually "Lights on!" see's the Truth for what it really is, a super controlling performance oriented society.

    Take a deep deep breath your in for a bumpy ride, but it seems you have support of your immediate family that is pretty incredible.

    It took me a while to grasp that these so called friends weren't that at all but only associates that happen to have been bullied by the borg they have no real understanding of real friendship what are you loosing? not much in the end when you really pause to think about it.

    Try not to think too too far in the future, try to deal with one day at a time and spend time to give yourself some positive support a slap on your own back so to speak. Its amazing that we are all either on our way out or have been able to detach from all that negative bullshit we have put up with because of some bad decisions of our parents that were made about religion.

    I left because I couldn't manipulate my kids minds.....................that was my wake up call, glad you had yours!

  • jwfacts

    Welcome, it is great to have you here.

    It is a tough situation that you are going through, but is a lot better to happen now than when you are older. You have plenty of time to build a new circle of friends, something that is a lot harder in later life. Try not to be too upset and blame the feelings that you have on being raised a JW. It is normal for teenagers to go through a lot of emotions and have questions about life. You are lucky to have a great family that have a special perspective on life, and who can now help you avoid being misled by the false religious reasonings.

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