confused, scared and worst of all, teenager.

by torn in two son 37 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • Chalam




  • Opus92

    Welcome TITS! It's always great to see you. ;-)

    I started working my way out when I was a teenager. I'd seen a lot of bad things happen as a JW. Some were in the congregation, but most happened to my family. I thought there was no point in worshipping a god who had repeatedly failed me. But my mother was an active Dub, so there was no way to get out of the meetings. She ruled the house, iron-fist-in-a-velvet-glove style.

    I did a slow fade by getting more involved with school. Fortunately for me, my whole family has always valued education, so there were no objections. I also go t a job, which no one could object to because we were pretty poor. I would spend 9 - 12 hours a day at school, then work after school and on the weekends. There was no time for meetings when I was spending so many hours out of the house.

    I was finally able to do a clean break once I went to college. My mother didn't accept it, and still doesn't, so we have a pretty crappy relationship.

    Be glad that you have your immediate family on your side. Yes, losing your JW friends would be hard, but losing your family is much harder. It's a lot easier to make new friends than to make a new family. Besides, the majority of kids raised as JWs will leave the religion. (The JWs don't advertise it, but the only way they keep butts in the seats is by constantly getting new converts.) You may meet up with your friends later in life as ex-JWs.

  • Quandry


    I know it is hard, but patience is called for. Do your own research. Make sure of things for yourself.

    Don't run to your family and friends screaming "It's all a lie!" Perhaps you can salvage some sort of relationship with your witness relatives if you don't come on too strong.

    Recently, the Watchtower Society has been saying that to get an education is bad. Why? Don't they hire many lawyers who obviously have to have way beyond even a college degree? They know that once you really start using your mind, you will learn how to research for yourself. You will not have to rely their "All the research has been done for you" stance. Please get that education. Let it be your main goal right now. You will never regret it. You can learn about the history of life on earth, about where we came from, how we got here, what others have learned over the centuries, etc.

    It is very hard, I am sure, to live in a confused state, as things are changing so fast around you. Again, be patient. As you listen and learn, the confusion will clear. The more you learn, the less scared you will become.

    Please know that you and your opinions are important. Good for you for posting here on this board. You seem to be able to think and speak for yourself already. You have alot going for you!!!

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    Welcome to the forum.

    You're very lucky to have such smart parents.

  • Amber Rose
    Amber Rose

    Dear Torn In Two Son,

    Its kind of like Wile E Cyote chasing after Roadrunner, then he looks down. The moment you realize that everything that you put your heart into is all false, its like the ground has been removed from under your feet. You're in freefall. You panic, your head starts spinning, the "what ifs" start rushing in and you start blindly grabbing at anything. The best thing to do is to sit yourself down and tell your head to "shut up". Forget about the Bible, forget about religion and athism. There will be time for that later. I guess all I'm trying to say is - I remember the moment that my whole philosophy on life vanished in an instant and I wanted a new one NOW. These things take time. But on the bright side there is time - there is no Armageddon.

  • mouthy

    Dear Torn In Two Son, So happy to have you aboard.

    I am a very old one on board.but I must commend you
    for being smart enough to want to examine what you have
    been taught as truth...I wasnt that smart.I was a JW for 25 yrs
    finding the truth very late in life,after they kicked me out
    because I admitted I could not believe that Jesus came invisably
    in 1914....I was devastated(sp) So keep on examining what truth
    is,& I think you will find it is NOT in any man.I believe Jesus Christ is
    the WAY! TRUTH,LIFE!!


  • quietlyleaving

    Hi torn in two

    nice to know you. I'm so glad you have your mum, dad and sis on your side. But some issues you have to face yourself. Your confusion and fear are healthy signs that you are thinking for yourself and exploring - this is what makes life truly worthwhile.

    welcome to JWN


  • looking4peace


    Welcome! I can just imagine that your life feels like it is spinning right now. All the advice here to give yourself plenty of time to let things settle down is very sage. Your immediate family is indeed a blessing of support to get you through the toughest part of sorting out all of your other relationships. As long as you think through every step carefully, rather than acting on emotions as they hit, you will end up with the best case scenario possible in this circumstance. That may not mean that every relationship you value is intact, but at least you won't have shrapnel flying everywhere as if a bomb went off. So far for me, the less you say to anyone J-dub, the better. A line that helps me if people ask why I'm not active anymore is "Thank you for asking. I know it means you really care, but I have the right to keeping some things personal." End of story. Repeat often.

    Welcome to the boards.


  • jamiebowers

    How your relatives who remain active jws treat you will rely mainly on your parents. If they da or get df'd, then you will most likely be shunned too. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. People who are under mind control can be dangerous to be around. That is a proven fact due to the child molestation cover up scandals that have been in the news for more than a decade. But even if serious issues like that or others like blood transfusions aren't applicable to your experience, people under the influence of mind control will try to meddle in your personal affairs such as dating, education and recreation. As you get older, you will want less and less hassle in your life and freedom to pursue your dreams, and you won't want anyone standing in your way.

    Welcome to JWN!

  • Gayle

    Your discovery now at this time in life is great! Continue reading information to re-circuit some of the brain farts created by the Watchtower. Read the book by Steve Hassan, "Combatting Cult Mind Control."

    You'll be fine. Prepare for college. Wonderful you have your "hub" of family, know where you've been and all moving on with their lives. If you have other relatives and friends that are only "conditional" friends for you, then you can respectfully move on and leave a last word that you will always be glad to hear from them, up to them and accept (privately) to leave them to their misery if they choose.

    Proud of you and best wishes to you and your "free" family!

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