Frustrated with the JW in law sitch (page 2)

sspo

Get over it!

Did he say anything bad about you? It doesn't seem like it!

Next time give him a list of subjects to talk about and make sure he follows it.

Pick your fights, this one is not that important.......cut him some slack!

My JW wife will talk to her JW mother and talk about "their" family. She won't talk about me sometimes. It's a mixed bag. They have their family to talk about and she and her mother talk about their own stuff.

Also, the wife doesn't defend my fade nor does she want to attack it. If she does talk about me, it's often surface talk with no depth. I have heard her say a little something here and there on the phone where she must be answering whether I have changed my position on things in JW land.

You know your husband and what's going on better than we do. But I wouldn't sweat my spouse doing that.

Black Sheep

His sister, brother in law and mom will have nothing to do with me

.... so it is not surprising that he didn't bring you up in the conversation.

The call is the nearest he can get to a normal relationship with his family who, if you had forgotten already, are under the influence of a high control cult, and you are offended that it wasn't turned it into a slanging match over you?????

My sympathy is with your husband.

OUTLAW

Your husband never gave your inlaws an opportunity to Bad Mouth you and your Pissed Off..

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Would you rather he did and got into a fight with them?

If he did fight with them,about you..

You`d be pissed at them and he`d have to hear about it from you..

Either way your Husband is Screwed..

Thats simply not fair..

.......................

moshe

Many wives have to endure the same treatment by inlaws who don't like them. If your husband agrees he wasn't as loyal as he should have been, then he needs to work on his technique.- he needs to practice a script, just like a JW who hates talking to unpleasant householders- they practice what they will say and practice the comebacks they will use for all the arguments that they will face. Perhaps a few vists with a marriage counselor will help out here.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

bluesapphire,
Input is welcome, eh?

Well, I guess my first reaction is that you must be a nutjob to have married this weakling in the first place. I mean he's clearly a total dungheap that comes from a family of JW megaturds. You must have been completely stoned when you walked down the aisle to wed this caveman.

Calm down, I'm just being sarcastic. And here comes some more... Mr. Sapphire on phone:

Option 1) "By the way, Blue has been working out and looks totally hot!"..."What do you mean, my wife certainly is fit to sleep with pigs!"..."I'll have you know that there are plenty of pigs that would sleep with my wife."... "Blue can sleep with pigs all the time whenever she wants to."... "I'll show you, I'm going out to a farm right now to find a pig and make it sleep with my wife!"

Option 2) "Blue says "hi". You two should spend some time together."... "Oh yes, she loves to shop and would love to spend this Saturday out shopping with you, maybe you could help her pick out some nice, modest, Christian clothing!"... "Great! Of course it's fine with her!"

Option 3) "Yeah, Blue is okay, I guess. She's still in bed, kinda hungover as usual."... "No, I'm used to it. I'll just have dry cereal for breakfast, if she thought to get any cereal or milk, that is."... "Well the freezer is full of Lean Cuisine and the cupboards are full of Oreos."... "Well, it's expected at that age that a women will be putting on a few extra pounds."... "20 is 'a few' according to Oprah, right?"

But I digress, maybe I'm a totally batsh!t crazy single dude, but this is one of the reasons that I don't listen to others while they're talking on the phone unless they directly drag me into the conversation. I may not like what they say, and I'm only getting one side of the conversation and may completely misunderstand something. And listening to half-conversations are mindnumbingly boring. "uh-huh, it was a really bad hangnail, yeah, hurt like an SOB,... no you hang-up first. No, YOU hang-up first...."

Seriously, it's one of the things I learned in Bethel, I would completely tune out a phone conversation unless I was directly involved, and I would avoid letting others listen to my phone conversations. If anyone was lingering nearby... "um, was there anything you needed? No? Okay, I'll see you later."

Heartbreaker

Blue Sapphire, I totally understand where you are coming from. My brother in law has lableled me the Jezebel Whore, and is convinced that my husband should leave me and take our children because I'm evil. I am not exaggerating in the least. His brother will call, they'll talk, shoot the shit, and never bring me up. A while back there was something unsavory said about me, and my husband said I was not ever to be a topic of conversation, so I took that as a good reason I wasn't discussed....UNTIL.

I found out that everyone once in a while the brother will make a jab at me, and then he's warned that they don't discuss me, and things are tense and then it blows over. I, like you, am pissed that the brother gets his digs, and then my husband still talks to him. In my mind he's winning. I hate every minute of it.

We are newly faded, and my husband doesn't really take part in any holidays, but is totally physically out of the ORG. I feel bad about making it feel like he has to chose me over his sicko brother, but I feel worse when I sit by undefended.

Totally not helping here, just commiserating.

mrsjones5

I'm a wife, been married seventeen years to my husband. I don't care if he brings me up or not to his family. Even if he's on the phone with his mother and I'm in the same room I not really listening, I've got other things to focus on. But his family like me and thinks I'm the best thing that ever happened to him - I know that for a fact cuz when I was pregnant with my last and napping in the living room of hubby's aunt house I happen to over hear hubby's family saying how much they liked me. On the flip side, my family hates my hubby or to be more specific my mother hates my husband and if I'm talking to her I'd rather not bring my husband up. But it really doesn't matter cuz I'm not talking to my parents right now.

asilentone

everyone does not get their way everytime.

bluesapphire

Well, this was a very interesting feed back session.

Ahhhh, I like Billy's the best. It was so funny. Here's where I stand after the whole thing blew over:

I totally detest that he even has anything to do with these miserable pieces of shit. Yep! I hate it. But they ARE his family. So I have to live with it. It's my fault for marrying into this freakazoid family to begin with. So it comes with the territory.

I still think my husband is weaker than weak itself. If it were me I would tell them where to go. But that's me. One of the things I love about him is he is kind and tender hearted. It's also the thing I hate when it benefits THOSE FREAKING FREAKS!

So, all in all, it's not the fight I want to go down on. Glad some of you sympathized and at least knew where I was coming from.

Frustrated with the JW in law sitch