Is internet dating for losers?

by Newborn 82 Replies latest jw friends

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  wantstoleave

  Have only read the first page so far....

  I met my ex husband on the internet. Through a witness message board actually. Went overseas and met him. Ignored all the warning signs. Online dated him for about a year. Married to him for almost 5yrs. Now divorced (next month) and separated 18mths.

  Point being, while some internet relationships work, most don't. In order for them to be successful, both parties have to be 100% honest about themselves. It is easy to hide behind a computer screen and keyboard. But face to face, the truth comes out. In real life dating, you would hope that over time quirks in personality would surface. I realise sometimes they don't and the rose coloured glasses stay on, or one person is a damn good liar. But there is such a huge difference from talking to someone on a computer, versus face to face.

  I've never had the chance to date in person. My first boyfriend was my ex husband and it was all done online. I missed out on getting flowers (never ever got any from him even while married), holding hands, sneaking kisses when noone was looking, going out to the movies, walking along the beach. I missed out on those deep and meaningful conversations lovers have face to face. But most of all, I missed out on seeing him for what he really was and that's because I couldn't see his interactions with other people, his family, friends or coworkers. If I had, I would've run a mile! He had absolutely no social skills and noone liked him. He was a narcissistic so and so.

  If you online date, it's about more than being careful and open minded. You have to be prepared to date for a long time, because you really need time 'face to face' to get to know each other properly. I do understand that in some instances two people just 'click' and it works out from the word go. But in most cases not.

  Would I do it again? No!
• 

  wantstoleave

  Ps - how terrible about the small penis!!! That would be my worst nightmare...lol.
• 

  oompa

  i have no doubt of my sexuality and masculinity...but kinda odd i matched up with salco and outlaw"?!?!?!.................oompa

  LOL!..........ACTUALLY it was Sweetstuff!!!.............god i love those canadian ladies.....
• 

  Jim_TX

  I can most definitely say that internet dating is NOT for losers... oh wait. Maybe I _am_ a loser...

  Now I'm going to cry. See what you have done?

  Just kidding. I'll tell you later about some of my experiences... if I can remember them... I have white hair, and can't seem to remember much anymore...

  Regards,

  Jim TX
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  Jim_TX

  Okay... my experiences with 'internet dating' may not be as bad as some others who have posted here, but I have had a few 'close calls'.

  I registered with a couple of online dating services - and filtered through the many possibilities - which narrowed it down quite a bit. (Non-smokers - a must)

  Of the few that were left (that were real - and not bogus - to add to the body count), I soon learned to recognize photos that did not match the 'age'. Also - I learned to recognize the 'glamour shots' - and subtract a few 'beauty points' because glamour shots can make anyone look... well, glamourous. Tip: ALWAYS ask how recent the photo is. Even so - they might lie about it.

  Of those that agreed to meet - I would usually set up the meeting at a local coffee shop/restaurant. No alcohol. I figure if you can't meet and talk - without alcohol... well... it's better to not add alcohol to the mix.

  There was the 'hugger'. She told me that she liked to hug - and - yes she did. You know... there's a polite way to hug someone... the usual 'hug-and-let-go'. She tended to hug-hug-hug-hug-hug... well beyond the 'release' time. I like hugs... but it gets uncomfortable after a long while.

  Another gal - very attractive... but just needed a warm body to accompany her to a function she was required to attend. I was that warm body.

  Yet another kept mentioning to me... 'Well, you passed that test." I got tired of taking tests. She never heard from me again.

  One gal - another attractive lady - she wouldn't give me her real name - and I only had her 'screen name'. Kinda difficult to send flowers to her place of business addressed to 'knightlady' - or whatever. She was interesting... we met for lunch - a nice conversation. She wouldn't give her real name... nor agree to meet again on the weekend - as she had business to take care of. I let it slide... and sortuv forgot about her. I guess I was giving her her space.

  After a few weeks... I guess she couldn't find anyone better - and out of the blue - I get an e-mail from her wanting to meet again for lunch. I agree and we have another nice and pleasant lunch. Still no name, though. So I decided she might be a flake. Very attractive... flake. Not to sound conceited, but it's her loss.

  ...and on and on. Another reason that I would want to meet these gals at a local coffee shop is that... well... you never know... I might need to scream and run for help. Some of those gals were scary.

  The upside? It IS possible to meet someone nice. That's how I met my wife. Turns out we lived within 4 houses of each other. Very attractive, and intelligent. We hit it off early in our relationship... and got married about a year later.

  Soooooooo... I would say that if you decide to use the 'internet dating' method for meeting prople, it can work... but you may have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince (or princess).

  Internet dating is no more different than going to a bar and trying to hook up with someone. (Of course... I never went to bars to meet gals... so maybe I'm wrong.)

  Regards,

  Jim TX
• 

  fleaman uk

  There was the 'hugger'. She told me that she liked to hug - and - yes she did. You know... there's a polite way to hug someone... the usual 'hug-and-let-go'. She tended to hug-hug-hug-hug-hug... well beyond the 'release' time. I like hugs... but it gets uncomfortable after a long while.

  Hee hee...are you Larry david in disguise? ;)
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  White Dove

  This thread would not be complete without Mr. Flipper's story. He and Mrs. Flipper are like the poster couple for E-Harmony. It's so sweet!
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  HintOfLime

  I tried the internet dating thing for a year on two different sites, and ultimately closed both accounts.

  So from a guy's perspective, here's what you'll experience on the free site:

  A) You contact an interesting and/or good-looking person. This person gets 10 emails a day, and odds are, your email is not noticed. If they do answer, no matter what you say they will soon find someone they find more intresting than you.

  B) You contact a boring and/or plain-looking person. This person gets 10 emails a day, and odds are, your email is not noticed. If they do answer, no matter what you say they will soon find someone they find more intresting than you.

  C) You are contacted by an unattractive, boring person that is 17 years older than you (but claims to be 33), and weighs 150 lbs more. In all three of their profile pictures they are sitting in the exactly same recliner in a dimly lit room with wood paneling behind them. You spend an hour trying to come up with a polite way of telling them you are not interested, and ultimately resort to a form letter you find on the internet that suits your needs.

  D) An attractive, interesting person contacts you. At first you are excited and flattered reading their email, but then you realize that while the email has flawless english, the grammer in her profile sucks. She claims to be French yet in her photo she is clearly Japanese. Red flags keep piling up and any feeling of excitement or flattery is quickly replaced with disappointment as you realize it's just another scam.

  Of course, on the pay site things are exactly the same. Except now you're paying for it.

  I've had better luck meeting people at the grocery store and on hiking trails, so.. I think I'll stick with that. There's really no rush anyway, relationships tend to be a distraction from my goals in life.

  - Lime
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  White Dove

  I think I'm going to try going to seminars that interest me that attract Ph.D.s and masters degree holders. A resume' can be beefed up this way, too. Sounds exciting to accomplish two goals at once: meet interesting people while enriching my accademic and social life:)
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  creativhoney

  hee hee @ wantstoleave surely he had to know? one of those lol is it in yet? heheheh, and they say its not how big it is its what you do with it, but after three seconds the is it in was followed by is it over, and I knew straight away he was dumped. ew. he must have known how crappy he was.

  sorry for being graphic but it has to be said.