Just worn out

by EmptyInside 56 Replies latest jw friends

  • StoneWall

    Dear Emptyinside,

    Just wanted to start off with saying I can relate to the handle you have chosen to use on here.

    I would dare say that at some point in all our lives we have each felt empty inside. The good thing is tho that

    something always comes along to fill that empty spot/space. It might take hours,days,weeks, months or longer

    but when something comes along to fill that void we feel so refreshed. And it will happen.

    Sometimes if we don't like our current situation then it is good to do a self analysis or an inventory of ourself and

    see what is it that we can change to improve our lot in life. If every day we get up at 8:05 a.m. and miss the bus then

    soon we realize that we need to adjust our clock to wake up earlier. I know this example is over simplifying something

    which is much more complex, but the point is there is always things we can change to get a different outcome.

    Everyone deserves a good companion/partner in life and you are no different. Even in Genesis it talks about that it was

    not good for the man to continue alone. So what you describe is very much a part of our make-up.

    I'm glad you decided to do more than just be a lurker. Just think that is one small step of change already.

    Who knows what changes are in store for you in the near future? It can be a most pleasant journey if you let it be.

    Just don't try to absorb everything all at once. Take your time and always do as the scriptures in the bible tells

    us, "Make sure of all things hold fast to what is fine."

    And as Jesus said you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. If something is true it will have the ring of truth to it

    no matter who says it.

    Just hang in there and don't give up. We will be rooting for you.


  • yknot

    Stay awhile, take a load off, sit a spell and tell us what exactly has been eating out you ...........

    Don't feel bad about the great man-shortage, there are lots of women wearing your shoes..... (knowing you are not alone gives some comfort)!

    In my KH the only single men are teenagers and one guy who isn't really emotionally marriage material. When I was younger the shortage was so bad that many of my peers were courted by men twice our ages (no none of those marriages worked out, all divorced bitterly)

    When the right one comes into your life, you will know! Until then what are you doing for yourself to keep your seratonin levels balanced?

    Do you take time to properly excerise and feed your body like Jehovah wants you too? When is the last time you went for a mani/pedi or make-over?

    Are you finding contentment in you secular work (or are you going back to school like every-other bro/sis)?

    Now onto those pesky doubts...... can't be that bad, we all have them... breathe easy..

    I think you will find many of us on JWN are happy to either provide you directly or point you to the proper web addy to retrieve any older publications (not found on the CD) you might need to view to deal with those doubts......nothing like printed TRUTH to scare way those things 'tickling' your ears!

    Also take to heart that Bro. Losch (as you may remember from lurking) has declared Tribulation to be a future event that hasn't started! So imminence is not so imminent after all.....(Tribulation depending on which brother you speak too is 3.5 years to 7 years long!) .....THUS YOU HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO........DISCERN!

    I am so glad we have another 'active' !!!!

    Looking forward to your future comments!


  • quietlyleaving

    hi emptyinside

    welcome to JWN. Conventions can be the lonliest of places and the most guilt inducing.

    And because of my doubts and being "spiritually weak" a part of me is worried that it all has been in vain.

    Having doubts is a sign of spiritual strength imo. I hope you come to see that it hasn't all been in vain.

    Glad you decided to start posting.


  • parakeet

    Keep lurking for a while, EmptyInside. I gave the WTS 14 years of my life. Don't let them steal any more from you than they already have.

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    My wife who is on the fence stated in the spanish congregation the lonliest gets worse. She said at 17 u r mid-normal

  • tigeress


    i can so relate to what your going through. Please remember that your not yet being married is no reflection on you as a person, it is a reflection on everyone who has rejected you and shows what poor taste they have.

    Honestly i think it takes a humans till age 30 to actualy mature into the person they wil become. I've alot of young teenagers and 20 somthings in the org rush into marriage before they know themselves, 10 years later they wake up and realise that they are now a different person and not suited at all to their partner.

    heres a big hug ((( )))) and please know that you are now amongst freinds who will help, and who truly do care for you.

    PS. and the one thing they won't do is fob you off with " wait on jehovah/ new system"

  • nelly136

    ***Everyone tells me, wait until the new system.***

    easy for them if they're married settled got families! especially as anyone who dies before armageddon will be brought back a neuter with all eternity to be single and childless.

    nice to meet you

  • wantstoleave

    Welcome to the board :) Reading your story, I could sympathise completely. I felt exactly as you did, in my early 20s. I would cry myself to sleep, wondering what was wrong with me that no brothers had taken interest. I was spiritual, though had a weak family at the time, but tried my very best. I'm not unattractive, yet I couldn't seem to find anyone. I must admit, I never actively sought anyone, rather I prayed that Jehovah find me someone when the time was right. That was what I was always told to rely on, so I did. Unfortunately (in my case and maybe not others), I found a brother via the internet, who turned out to be a total idiot. I was now more lonely being married then I was being single. It happens.

    I don't know what to say, because my sister is headed down the same track. She doesn't say much, she's very quiet, but I know she wants to be married and she'll be 24 next month. Searching for a mate within the organisation can become a very small channel. If you indeed want to remain a witness, but marry a non-JW, then you will still be lonely at conventions. You may eventually marry a brother, but chances are he'll be alot older than you, and divorced. Unfortunately for sisters there isn't the same ratio of brothers, so brothers can be choosy, while sisters generally have to take what comes.

    I am now a single mum and I find conventions terrible. I am all alone. But, you must remind yourself that even those who profess to be happy aren't always. Sometimes what goes on behind closed doors is an eye opener. My advice would be to enjoy the freedom you have, because if you marry a brother, headship comes into play (Im talking in a JW sense here folks) and you will be expected to tow the line. I don't know you enough to know how you are with authority, but there are some real doozies of brothers out there who take the headship thing to extremes.

    There's alot to be considered. But please don't for a second think that there is something wrong with you. I've been there, thought that and married the first one that came along - and it was a crock. Be choosy. But be happy. And, we're all here for you :) I too am still exploring things, having only just begun visiting this board. It's been a real help so far :)

  • tigeress

    Emptyinside, you have a personal message, click on the evenlope symbol next to your name at the top right hand side of the screen

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    I really feel for you. There are a number of sisters in our congregation in the same position. One is in her late 30's, my husband had a crush on her before we met and dated her briefly but she finished with him. Now I see her pain when she sees our children and wants a relationship and family and it makes me feel so sorry for her (and lots of others like her).

    The worst of it is that many so called "worldly" men make much better husbands than some of the JW jerks who strut about knowing they have their pick at a ratio of 3:1.

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