Back Again about Disfellowshipment.... Please Help!!

by Butterflyleia85 54 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • VoidEater

    Whatever happened to having a PERSONAL relationship with Jehovah?

    What can that mean but having a relationship that is not dependent on others?

  • flipper

    BUTTERFLYLEIA- Even AFTER I stopped attending meetings and was in an inactive state for 3 years ( not DFed ) the elders traveled 80 miles to DF me based on false rumors of alleged " circumstancial fornication ". As Jookbeard said - many times the elders have an axe to grind personally towards people and no matter WHAT you do, or HOW you repent- it's not good enough to appease some elders. Not saying ALL elders are that way- but believe me , in 44 years being in the organization from birth I saw a hell of a lot of them that WERE that way- vindictive.

    Yeah - In 2007 my JW ex-wife ( divorced scripturally 1998 ) drove 80 miles out of her way with her JW husband to see if me and Mrs. Flipper were doing the nasty, nasty 1 month before our wedding on a Saturday morning ! Why did she do this ? Because she wanted to malign my character to my JW family I still had contact with- including my 80 something year old parents ! So what did I do ? Lay down and take it ? No.

    They had no evidence I had committed fornication . The elders called me from my former congregation 2 months after saying my ex-wife had reported I had been living with Mrs. Flipper before marriage. I had not and told them so. It wasn't enough for them. So even though I HAD NOT attended meetings in 3 years the elders demanded I meet with them for a judicial meeting. I told them I would not- as I wasn't guilty of anything. How was I rewarded when I didn't attend their JC meeting ? They came to my wife and my door 4 months later saying they decided to DF me ( even though I never met with them ) . I asked the substance of the charges ? They said " circumstancial fornication. " I asked, " Do you have any eyewitnesses ? " They said, " No. " They told me to appeal it- which I did. I was NOT going to let them control whether I could speak to my 80 something year old JW parents.

    Long story short, I won my appeal as there was no evidence I had committed a wrong which I denied doing. Also I sent them a letter from my attorney saying if they DFed me on false grounds - I would sue for slander and defamation of character. So the bottom line is - Angel Eyes stance of just admitting guilt and saying you are sorry - when you are not - is NOT the proper way to handle this. God doesn't expect ANYBODY to have a MOCK humility just to save face- OR be approved by Him. It's not being honest. Jehovah's Witnesses have enough problems with " guilt " and self esteem due to being told they are SO imperfect all the time.

    You DON"T HAVE to feel bad about yourself Butterfly. The pain of heart you have gone through is sufficient in the experiences you have suffered. Be kind to yourself - move on in your life. Love your fiance and start making happy plans for the future. We are rooting for you. Good luck, Peace out, Mr. Flipper



    Many many years ago, when I was an apprentice engineer we had one day off to go to collage.

    One day when the teacher was writing on the blackboard, the boys through chalk etc at him, he turned round and accused me of doing it.

    He marched me down to the head teacher who gave me an ultimatum own up and apologise, or be expelled, as I was innocent of this I refused to do so (I was expelled).

    My wife and I were also innocent when we asked for answers about U.N. etc. had we apologised for seeking these and many more questions we would not have been dissfellowshipped.

    We had certain principles when we joined the Org. (family ridicule) so why should we abandon those because of pressure from men (elders).

    Jehovah loves you as an individual not as someone who jumps when told to do so !

    KT PS when I was apprentic, because I didnt go to collage, I asked for money for working that day (and got it)

  • wantstoleave

    This topic has been really insightful....Im thanking you all for the responses, as a newbie Im learning alot! horrible things you've been through!! Good on you for taking a stand. Id never heard of circumstantial fornication until you mentioned it. Seems I have alot to learn.

    Butterfly...are your family witnesses? I find it so sad that given you were repentant, you were still DF. Thats just awful. And not loving at all.

    I was before a JC once. For nothing major, but before one nonetheless. To this day I wonder what those 3 brothers were writing down. And Id love to know what happens to the notes they took. How humiliating it was sitting there being at their mercy for forgiveness.

  • Butterflyleia85

    Again thank you all for your help!!

    you all are the best!!

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