Oh and another thing hotspur, Yeah that’s what my councilor suggested too – (Have peace but first of all forgive yourself for the guilt that is being heaped on you. Recognize where it comes from - yourself, god or a bunch of rule driven men.) It seriously is what keep me alive! I was so depressed when I first got DF it was pathetic.
Black Sheep I don’t know who Charles Manson is - The followers of Charles Manson took a very dim view of their ex/non members. Would you feel bad if a member of the Manson/Koresh/Jim Jones families thought evil of you?
Flipper & others that has been reinstated, Yeah I been there too, I was reinstated and they do watch you like a hawk, the people are all cheerful and happy the day of announcement but then nothing afterward... they want to keep a little distance just cause you now labeled spiritually weak, I had people treat me as if I wasn't human but a person that needed to be guided spiritually not to be hanging out with... and that's what i needed my friends again to support me and be close to me again. It hurt to see them move on with their lives like that, I was happy for them but I just felt so abandoned... I felt like screaming "DO YOU REALIZE WHAT I BEEN THROUGH!" "OH I KNOW WHAT YOUR THINKING I WAS JUST LIKE YOU AND I SWEAR TO YOU I WISH YOU ALL WERE DF, THEN YOU WOULD SEE IT SERIOUSLY IS PUNISHMENT ENOUGH!" "I'M STILL A GOOD PERSON, I JUST MADE A MISTAKE!" "WHY CAN'T YOU SEE, THAT IT'S NOT BLACK IN WHITE, THERE ARE GRAY SPOTS TOO" "PEOPLE MAKE BAD CHOICES IN LIFE, DOESN'T MAKE THEM A BAD PERSON" Who was I left with even getting back in the same people that helped me get in... my DF friends and family (actually just my mom and sometimes grandma and my sister). I realized after going to counseling and having my family that's all that I needed.
I didn't like the Hawk over my head. I still drank. and one day at home I got a call... (bluh bluh bluh) It was over my elders called to weeks after that night and had a meeting with me. I got disfellowshipped for the second time. I just basically gave up on the society... I was broken and asked many times for help... it's all exhausting after awhile.
"1Cor 5 11-13, they fail to mention 2Cor. 2-7" -Kaytee ...very true.
And while I was out in the Hall talking to the elder I feel that this statement is true too...
"they are bound first to the human directives of the WTS whereas you are to Jehovah and his Christ!" -Ynot
I think when it comes down to it they are imperfect humans. But that's all God can work with right??
So who holds the power to direct his servants if it isn't through "God's Organization"?
I agree good scripture willyoman, "This people honors me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me."
Not saying this really to the elders (I swear I felt one of my elders had great pain and sympathy for me but he stepped down from elders position while I was DF so I couldn't go back to him) ... but the obligation and burden the Organization holds over the elders stemming down to the individual people in the congregation. I know all is meant well because I do find love in peace through certain ppl in the hall individually. If I could just have thrived off of that more and thought more positively I could have probably made it (after reinstatement).
But again back to when reading the Watchtower information and hearing talks, this type of conscience simpathy was wrong... So there! I'm confused again. Everything is painted black and white again.
