Dealing with a 'molested child' in a Judicial matter.

by dissed 38 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • dissed

    I'm trying to respect the privacy of this individual, so forgive me if I'm a little too vague in my descriptions.

    This for me, was the most emotional and difficult Judicial matter that I have ever experienced. Its been many years since this happened and I'm still troubled, and troubled for this individual.

    A young sister had committed fornication and I was chosen to sit on the Judicial committee.

    The case didn't make sense at first. She was a faithful example in the congregation and was very much liked by all. Why did she suddenly and for no apparrent reason go off and do something so wrong?

    As we could see, she was very much emotionally troubled. It was like something we had never seen in her before. After a few questions and listening to her, it became obvious as to why the change. She was molested as a child and something recently triggered her now emotional state.

    Unwittingly, I was partly responsible.

    I was studying with a man who was progressing and coming to the meetings. He was sharing in service and was planning on Baptism. As she brought to our attention during the Judicial meeting, he was the one who molested her some years ago. She was deeply troubled and in turmoil the more he advanced.

    You could see her security, comfort and protection of the congregation that she previously felt was gone.

    After our first meeting with her, I asked the other brothers if they knew about this, the molester? Too my surprise, both knew, as well as all the Elders did, except me. Being new on the body, I wasn't told, even though I was studying with the man. Besides, the man had been convicted, served time in prison, and they felt he was okay.

    The hardest decision.

    She wasn't repentant, there was almost anger in her voice as she talked. So you know what that means in Jehovah's organization? We had to disfellowship her according to the WTS instructions. This would separate her from the family of the congregation which she needed. We couldn't make the decision to do it.

    One brother suggested I call the Circuit Overseer for assistance, which I did. His advice? He felt deeply about the situation, but told us we MUST do the right thing and DF her.

    That night, neither of us slept at all. We all felt this would devastate her, perhaps to the point of suicide. We actually all cried with tears as we made the decision. I was asked to take the lead in discussing with her our decision. Neither of the other two said they could talk because it hurt so much.

    I know many of you will be angry hearing this story that I've kept inside for many years. But understand, this is what the WTS does to its followers. It forces us to become loveless, non-sympathetic, non-compassionate and forget entirely what Jesus meant when he talked about the little sheep in our midst.

    According to the WTS, we had to protect the congregation from this unfortunate soul. Who really, what all she needed was our kind assistance, not our scorn and rebuke.

    According to the WTS, we must keep things confidential to protect the rights of others. Right.

    I hope she turned out okay. I never heard what happened to her later. I fear it was just a false hope I had to make me feel better inside.

  • OnTheWayOut

    A very rough story. Not much comfort, but if not you then someone else would have DF'ed her.
    We can blame WTS for the most part for our blind ignorance on such matters.

  • avishai

    Even years later, an apology can mean alot. I would'nt contact her on the phone or anything, but if you can find an address, I'd send a note, it can mean all the difference. But don't make it about you, i.e asking forgiveness, all that bullshit. That ball is in her court. Just apologize. I don't mean to sound like a jerk by saying that, I know you are hurting, that's what we are here for. But her, just an apology.

  • palmtree67

    I'm crying now.

    For you.

    For her.

  • JimmyPage

    God damn this cult.

  • BabaYaga

    Dissed said:

    this is what the WTS does to its followers. It forces us to become loveless, non-sympathetic, non-compassionate and forget entirely what Jesus meant when he talked about the little sheep in our midst.

    First of all, you have to forgive yourself. That may be a hard thing to do, but it is the only thing you can do about it now.

    I hope and pray she is alright... and stronger... and wiser... and that her life is full of love. You know something... she could even be a poster here. Wouldn't that be something.

    Hugs to you, Dissed... and to her... wherever she is.


  • yesidid

    Ray Franz put it well in Crisis of Conscience:

    "While producing people who were outwardly moral, they subverted the essential

    qualities of humility, compassion and mercy."

    Sadly, we all did things under the influence of the Watchtower organization,

    which we now regret.


  • MrsPeaches

    oh gosh dissed. that's awful. the guilt you must feel. the treatment of that poor girl. I feel so bad for you and her. If you can send her a note of apology i think it wouldn't hurt. try find her. just to send the note.

  • SixofNine

    What if all three of you had refused to disfellowship her? Or even just one of you?

    I think that would have been the thing to do.

  • purplesofa

    I have typed and retyped several reponses,

    it's late,

    I will wait until tomorrow

    when I have had some sleep.

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