by AK - Jeff 45 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
From my DC: "Armageddon is not around the corner...it's on the block and it coming straight ahead!"
This was repeated several times along with the stock prices of certain U.S. corporations and references to how the world needs a "spiritual stimulus package" -- which is what the new brochure provides.
Funny stuff.
My SIL used the word imminent when speaking to my wife a couple weeks ago - and I doubt she could spell it, to be honest. I figured it was a term that was used extensively at the convention this year.
Hell, it was imminent when I was 4 - and that was 1959. Of course from Jehovah's perspective that was just a moment passing in time.....
Jeff
If 7000 years is really a creative day, then somewhere close to 5 earth years is a minute to Jehovah.
So, it's only been less than 10 minutes since you first learned that it was imminent.
...it's only been less than 10 minutes since you first learned that it was imminent.
Surely we can pinpoint it better'n that. I've got to be somewhere...I can't sit around for another 30 minutes waiting...
To clear things up, the GB has informed the sheeple that at least we can be certain that the end will come before some generation or other passes away. Yes, friends, it's that soon.
Next year it will be IMMINENT, you know, with capital letters. The next year, caps and bold. Next after that italics added. After that, underlined. After that in red...
So....next year it will be NANO-imminent?
ZEPTO-imminent?
PICO-imminent?
"No, no, no, you guys got it all wrong!
They weren't saying "Armaggedon is IMMINENT" at the DC, they were saying that it's IMMANENT!"
Nah...still wrong...misspelled. It's 'INMANUREMENT', that's olde latin for: "shit encased in concrete," i.e., "It felt like shittin' bricks "(concrete)
It has been 'imminent' all my life. I was never going to leave school. I wasn't to go to university because there wasn't time to spend 6 years studying a profession that would become obsolete in the new system when God would take care of all our illnesses. I wasn't ever going to need a pension.
I might just got it all wrong somewhere along the way!
This thread is so hilarious, thank you for this thread. Y'll are so funny.
...it's only been less than 10 minutes since you first learned that it was imminent.Surely we can pinpoint it better'n that. I've got to be somewhere...I can't sit around for another 30 minutes waiting...
Undercover, lol, but really Jesus doesn't even know the day or hour, just the JW's know, apparently, and they are not telling (beyond that it's IMMINENT).
Rachel
I don't remember use of the word "imminent." My recollection is, "Armageddon is 'just around the corner.'" I always wondered which corner they were referring to; is there at least a liquor store in the vicitiny of that corner that will supply me with enough booze to watch the entire Armageddon show without the necessity of a "return visit" to the liquor store for more booze?
