What's with all the 'Imminent' nonsense?

by AK - Jeff 45 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • chickpea
    chickpea

    it has done its work, hasn't it?

    the dr0nes are all abuzz with anticipation....

    faithfully blind to the reality that it is
    just another wave of sewage ...

  • straightshooter
    straightshooter

    This is a hope that the WTS has always held out to keep the members loyal and to provide them hope to endure and exert themselves.

    I remember an elderly sister who was dying, all the brothers and sisters told her to hang on because the end of this world was close. That was in the mid-70s. Sadly she died and the brothers and sisters were wrong in the end of this world coming while she was still alive.

    A circuit overseer last year used the podium top as an example. He had his finger point to the end of the podium and said that we are right here on the edge of the end of this system of things.

    So what was said at the District Convention is nothing new.

  • daniel-p
    daniel-p

    lol, well you can scratch at least one "imminent thread" off your list...

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    I wonder if they are going to start using the other prefixes for -second to describe how close we are. They are as follows:

    Microsecond: 1 millionth of a second.
    Nanosecond: 1 billionth of a second.
    Picosecond: 1 trillionth of a second.
    Femtosecond: 1 quadrillionth of a second.
    Attosecond: 1 quintillionth of a second.
    Zeptosecond: 1 sextillionth of a second.
    Yoctosecond: 1 septillionth of a second.

    What they will not tell you is that a zeptosecond goes by a quintillion times faster than a millisecond, and if a millisecond is just enough time to join and get baptized, a zeptosecond is not even enough time to leave the Kingdumb Hell. And a yoctosecond is even shorter than that--when they say that it is yoctoseconds away, the sound shouldn't even have time to reach your ears before it is gone. Even the signal in the sound system would not reach the speakers in a yoctosecond--it would already be out of date before reaching the speakers.

    Plus, this would be impossible for the average witless to understand. Some will understand microseconds, a few will understand nanoseconds. Past that point, I would doubt that anyone would understand. And anyone that understands femtoseconds and shorter has watched too many scientific documentaries and will soon turn apostate.

  • Leolaia
    Leolaia

    WTWizard.....Zeno's Paradox will forever keep delaying Armageddon.

  • Sour Grapes
    Sour Grapes

    We are in the last seconds of the last minutes of the last hours of the last days of the last

    weeks of the last months.

    Sour Grapes

  • daniel-p
    daniel-p

    Microsecond: 1 millionth of a second.
    Nanosecond: 1 billionth of a second.
    Picosecond: 1 trillionth of a second.
    Femtosecond: 1 quadrillionth of a second.
    Attosecond: 1 quintillionth of a second.
    Zeptosecond: 1 sextillionth of a second.
    Yoctosecond: 1 septillionth of a second.

    What they will not tell you is that a zeptosecond goes by a quintillion times faster than a millisecond, and if a millisecond is just enough time to join and get baptized, a zeptosecond is not even enough time to leave the Kingdumb Hell. And a yoctosecond is even shorter than that--when they say that it is yoctoseconds away, the sound shouldn't even have time to reach your ears before it is gone. Even the signal in the sound system would not reach the speakers in a yoctosecond--it would already be out of date before reaching the speakers.

    Plus, this would be impossible for the average witless to understand. Some will understand microseconds, a few will understand nanoseconds. Past that point, I would doubt that anyone would understand. And anyone that understands femtoseconds and shorter has watched too many scientific documentaries and will soon turn apostate.

    I'm sure they can understand this, though:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gw5fQHcD3FU

  • Cadellin
    Cadellin

    No, no, no, you guys got it all wrong!

    They weren't saying "Armaggedon is IMMINENT" at the DC, they were saying that it's IMMANENT! You see, "immanent" (Etymology: Late Latin immanent-, immanens, present participle of immanere to remain in place, from Latin in- + manere to remain) means it's inherent, it's a permanent fixture of the whole Witness theology. They were finally admitting that the general Armaggedon concept is here to stay--it's what makes Witnesses what they are.

    New light can come and go but Armaggedon's nearness remains forever, see? It's not the Society's fault that the two words sound the same...

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    Just to carry on Leolaia's good idea...A few more quotes -

    WT 1952 12/1 p709
    "we know that we face the imminent end of the present world system."

    WT 1957 1/1 p 30
    ” In view of the imminent approach of the battle of Armageddon"

    KM 1975 Oct p1
    “Since we are interested in the lives of people, it is important that we urgently warn all whom we can, awakening them to the imminent presence of Jehovah’s day."

    KM 1977 Feb p1"And what about our fellowmen who are still part of the world? Those who have not yet conformed to God’s purposes stand in imminent danger of losing their lives"

  • civicsi00
    civicsi00

    To make you feel better, they could also use these synonyms:

    about to happen, looming, coming up, forthcoming, pending, impending, at hand, nearby, just around the corner, within reach, near, close, close by, in sight, about to happen, approaching, on the way...

    Oh wait, they already do. Damn.

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