by foolsparadise 37 Replies latest jw friends
I personally read the awake! where they stated that there was a large jump in the crow population. They quoted the scripture where birds would pick the millitary commanders eyes out too. It was in that shitty little box area in the back - the "news" section. I don't know if they don't have it still or not - haven't read one in years, of course.
Lovely.
I'm sure it will be on all the network's 6:00 PM News
LD
I didn't start in 1975?
I personally read the awake! where they stated that there was a large jump in the crow population.
Oh, I missed that. I wasn't good at reading my mags from cover to cover. You know, I was busy shepherding the flock.
That's hilarious. I can see more of that kind of junk being offered soon.
I might actually do a WT library search for that, something I haven't done in over a year. (Please, Mary or Blondie do that for me, don't make me look for that.) When asked any questions about belief in WT teachings, I will say, "Well, there has been a jump in crow population. I suppose that's something Jehovah would need to devour the 99.9% that don't make it."
Crow populations have increased because they're now protected by law as a native species. When I was a kid and it was still legal for farmers to shoot crows, I never saw one closer than a quarter mile. Now they're bullying the smaller birds in my backyard bird feeder.
I've heard it all starts with the report of swine flu out of Mexico, which will cause the UN to turn on all FALSE religion and destroy it. It must be in the Bible somewhere... Hezekiah chapter zero or something.
We will know the real Great Tribulation has started when the authorities start plundering people's homes and looking for things that are banned by the witlesses. Instead of drug raids, there will be raids on illegal Christmas decorations, toys (yes, they all take time from field circus), computers (they will look through your whole system for anything that might be critical of them, like they do today for kiddie porn), food that is associated with holidays, barbecue grills (you can waste field circus time with them), other material things, as well as lack of washtowel littera-trash.
Also, they will be looking for anyone that is trying to use science to reason how things work in the universe or solve our problems. They will go after people that miss any boasting sessions or are not present for field circus (in whatever form it takes--there will be something, so they can waste all your time). And don't even think of using any excuse--if you're sick, it's because you didn't do enough. If you do anything fun, you will get sick--and don't even think of questioning them or you will be stoned to death.
Once the Washtowel Babble and Crap Slaveholdery seizes control of things (and, believe me it will be even worse than anything we now have), I will know that the real Great Tribulation has begun. But, I am not looking for deliverance--that is a scam that is used to keep people enduring tribulation and still coming back to God for more.
I remember back in either 2004 or 2005, my uncle (who is an elder) sat with me & described it to me in detail, i remember it vividly, it went as follows:
THE GREAT TRIBULATION!
The cry of peace started back in 1986 with the year of peace & culminated in 1991 with the dissolution of the USSR. The cry of security will be closely related to the people responsible for 9/11, & will come some time in the next decade (before 2014). It will involve the USA & the UK claiming that they have finally defeated terrorism.
Within a couple of years of this, the king of the north will emerge as a major world player, & it will most likely be China. Responding to this, the U.N. will lay down sanctions banning all organised religion, & the USA & the UK will enforce this. This is the point when the Great Tribulation (TM) begins. Most religions (including Islam LOL) will cave in pretty quickly, & somehow the king of the north (AKA China) will back down too. The only religion left standing will be the J-dubs. The U.N, the USA, the UK, China, & pretty much everyone else in the world will now begin persecuting & killing the J-dubs.
This will only be allowed to occur for a short time, because pretty soon the sky will begin to be swamped with 'supernatural phenomena' & the world will begin to lament. At this point the J-dubs go into hiding inside the 'inner most rooms' of their houses (they all live in big houses of course). Then the big finale (Armageddon) begins. Jesus appears on a cloud in the sky, with a sword coming out of his mouth. He will descend towards the ground & begin destroying everyone who is in charge. The rest of the world (all the innocent people who were just going about their lives) will then be taken care of by a rain of fire & sulphur. Jesus will then find Satan & throw him & his demons into the abyss (which isn't a real place, but merely a temporary state of non-existence). This entire charade, from the emergence of the king of the north to the abyssing of Satan will last no longer than 7 years.
Once everyone has been destroyed & the rain of fire & sulphur is switched off at the mains, the J-dubs will emerge & begin rebuilding the world. They will initiate a series of quick build programs (i'm not making this up by the way) & people will begin to be ressurected from the dead, the faithful men of old (beginning with Enoch, who never really died anyway, but instead has been waiting patiently with Jehovah for 5000 years) will be first of course. Gradually the J-dubs are restored to perfection & the rest of the dead are brought back to life & converted.
After 1000 years, the world has been restored to paradise, everyone has been ressurected & those who didn't accept the truth (TM) have been destroyed, & the survivers of Armageddon have been restored to perfection. Now Satan is released from the abyss & gathers some new followers (most likely the weak ones who never had the guts to join the theocratic ministry school), then Armageddon happens all over again (kind of like a second wave). Satan & his new followers are quickly destroyed, as is death. And everyone (everyone who is left anyway) lives happily after.
1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years later, everyone gets bored & commits suicide. Even though death no longer exists. Then Jehovah & Jesus get bored too, & go back to sleep.
THE END
I see a black crow about everyday on my yard recently.
Obviously the world has been in a great tribulation since the time of jesus.
Really?! Please explain.
