Walk Away Quietly, Go Out with a Bang, Protest, Disappear- What's Best?

by OnTheWayOut 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • cantleave

    Thanks for the advice OTWO, the depression card - never thought of that one, might even start sobbing in the KH, that won't be hard to do when we start singing the dirges from the new songbook - god help us!!!!

  • vilot

    I can appreciate those with family on the inside how difficult of a choice it is to make leaving. I had no immediate family in the "truth" just an aunt uncle and some cousins and they lived over 2000 miles from me. I also knew the friends I would be leaving (some for 25 years) were not friends at all and in fact have run into a number of them in public just to be shunned so much for "friends". I would think the best way for those with family is the fade and as mentioned depression is the perfect cover they can do sheparding calls and they are not prepared to handle such a situation and it is easy to fiend. They will ask you if you still believe it is Jehovah's organization give them the blah blah blah yes crap and they will leave till the next CO visit when they have to make an accounting as to those weak in the faith.

  • lifelong humanist
    lifelong humanist

    When I finally knew in my own mind that there was no god, creator, no one to inspire any religious texts, no need to worship, love or fear any deity, in good conscience, I just had to write a DA letter and walk away. That was 6 years ago. Prior to handing in the letter I discussed the matter with my wife. She thought that that was a more honourable way to exit than just to fade. I liked the feeling of closure and the prospect of opening up a new chapter in my life. For me, family that were still (and still are) in, amounted to my wife, father in law and my wife's brother and his wife. Fortunately our 4 sons were smarter than their old dad, and got out a few years before me! Shortly after submitting the letter, I had a visit from a well intentioned elder (secretary) in the congregation I attended that I respected (and still do). It transpired that he also was losing belief in god and JWs at the same time. This elder kindly pointed out the undoubtable merits of the fade method, but I explained to him that I couldn't go through with that and didn't want to 'live a lie'.

    As I've posted before, the fact that my wife chose to stay in still baffles me, but I'm currently awaiting delivery of Steve Hassan's 2 books recommended by leavingwt, and maybe some of the points and advice therein will do the trick - I really do hope so. They'll be my holiday reading!

    I know several JWs that are 'going through the motions' and no longer believe in the JW version of Christianity, but are just plain scared of making their views official as they feel they couldn't handle the repercussions due to the shunning process, which if anything, seems more entrenched and nasty that I can previously recall. In fact the pressure to 'stay' for family and friends must surely be the main indicator that the JW religion is a wicked cult.

    I'm interested in observing how some ex-JW 'heavies' are getting on as they expose this and other shameful practices that go on within the religion. Reports of their progress are encouraging!

  • WTWizard

    All I want is for them to waste their time and resources, and get crappy numbers to turn in for me. I did things to make them think I was elsewhere (going to alternating boasting sessions and then quitting, turning in multiple field circus reports at once, and the like). If that wastes their energy, so much the better--they will have that much less time to deal with others.

  • OnTheWayOut

    Awesome posts. Thanks for sharing.

  • purpleplus

    I faded because I just wanted to live my life, but not make any waves. Now I'm seriously considering DA'ing. I don't enjoy seeing former associates and deciding if I should speak to them or not, wondering if they'll ask about my status. If someone makes trouble I will definately DA! I should have DA'ed when my former friend called me from out-of-state to grill me for visiting my in-laws' church.

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