A "possible suicide" results in no JW support

by donny 41 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • donny
    donny

    A co-worker of mine whose, wife and daughters are Jehovahs Witnesses, told me about situation that his oldest daughter finds abhorrent. He said that a close friend of his daughter was found dead in a car the other day. She was in her early 30's and had been a lifelong JW. The coroner ruled the death was from heat exaustion due to the windows being rolled up, but because a container of prescription sleep medication was found in the car, the Witnesses in her congregation have decided it was a suicide.

    As a result, the elders told her family and friends that they cannot support any kind of memorial or service and that they are on their own. My co-workers daughter is very upset over this and cannot understand how they can rule it as a suicide when the coroner says otherwise and there was no note found suggesting such. She says her friend was a very good JW and cannot believe she is being treated as if she was disfellowshipped.

    She said she and her family are going to have a memorial for her even if she gets "censored". She still cannot believe the lack of love being shown by those who were supposedly her brothers and sisters in the faith.

    Has anyone else experienced a similar cold shoulder to such an incident?

  • SuspiciousMinds
    SuspiciousMinds

    I haven't experienced this situation, but this is another proof of how wicked the WTS is. And this from a religion that points to the "lack of natural affection" in the world as a sign that we're living in the last days. I've seen no other organization promote such a sick hatred for family members.

  • nelly136
    nelly136

    how sad, mere men deciding that they are more knowledgable than corners medical examiners. if they said it was heat exhaustion then thats what it was.

    sorry your friend is having more misery heaped on their family at a time they need it least. condolences at the loss of their daughter.

  • blondie
    blondie

    Once again elders are acting as doctors, police, judges, etc. If the coroner did not rule it a suicide, where do the elders get their qualifications to overrule that? I have gone to several funerals for jws who DID commit suicide. The only "adjustment" was that it was not at the KH. All were well attended by jws, the talk was given by an elder, and comfort was given to friends and family without any need to be concerned. These guys sound heartless.

    w02 6/15 pp.30-31 Questions From Readers

    If someone commits suicide, would it be advisable for a Christian minister to give the funeral talk?

    Each Christian minister would have to decide for himself whether he in good conscience could conduct a funeral for someone who seems to have committed suicide. When making the decision, he should consider the following questions: How does Jehovah view suicide? Was the death really a self-inflicted murder? Did a mental or emotional disorder trigger the suicide? How is suicide viewed in the locality?

    As Christians, we are interested in how Jehovah views suicide. To Jehovah human life is precious and sacred. (Genesis 9:5; Psalm 36:9) The intentional killing of oneself is self-murder, and it is therefore displeasing in God’s eyes. (Exodus 20:13; 1 John 3:15) Does that fact preclude the giving of a funeral talk for a suicide victim?

    Consider the case of King Saul of Israel. When he realized that he would not survive his final battle against the Philistines, rather than letting his enemy treat him abusively, "Saul took the sword and fell upon it." When the Philistines found his corpse, they fastened it on the wall of the city of Beth-shan. Upon finding out what the Philistines had done, the inhabitants of Jabesh-gilead removed the corpse and burned it. Then they took his bones and buried them. They even fasted for seven days, a traditional mourning rite among the Israelites. (1 Samuel 31:4, 8-13; Genesis 50:10) When David, the anointed of Jehovah, found out what the inhabitants of Jabesh-gilead had done, he said: "Blessed may you be of Jehovah, because you exercised this loving-kindness toward your lord, toward Saul, in that you buried him. And now may Jehovah exercise toward you loving-kindness and trustworthiness." (2 Samuel 2:5, 6) The divine record does not indicate that the inhabitants of Jabesh-gilead were condemned for performing what may be considered a funeral rite for King Saul. Compare that with the case of those who were deprived of burial because of their wrongdoing. (Jeremiah 25:32, 33) A Christian minister may consider the account about Saul in deciding whether he can give a funeral talk for a suicide victim.

    The minister may also want to consider the purpose of a funeral service. Unlike people who believe in the immortality of the soul, Jehovah’s Witnesses do not perform funerals with the erroneous idea of sending the deceased off to another world. Rather than to benefit the deceased, the main purpose of having a memorial service is to comfort the bereaved and to give a witness concerning the condition of the dead to those who attend. (Ecclesiastes 9:5, 10; 2 Corinthians 1:3-5) Another important reason for having a funeral is to help all in attendance to reflect on the transitoriness of life. (Ecclesiastes 7:2) Will these purposes be served by performing the memorial service for the suicide victim?

    Granted, some may feel that the person took his life intentionally, fully aware that he was sinning against Jehovah. But is there always a way to substantiate such a feeling? Could it have been a spur-of-the-moment act? Some who attempt suicide feel regret and do not go through with it. A person cannot after death repent for what he has done.

    Another important factor is that of mental and emotional disorders that are involved in many suicides. These can really be called suicide victims. According to some statistics, 90 percent of those who commit suicide have some kind of mental, emotional, or addictive problem. Will Jehovah forgive the self-murder committed by people in such a mental state? We are not in a position to judge whether the deceased committed an unforgivable sin in the eyes of Jehovah. A Christian minister may take into account the circumstances and medical history of the deceased when he considers whether to perform a funeral service for the suicide victim.

    There is one more aspect to consider: How do people in the community view suicide and the death of the person? This is especially of concern to the elders, who are interested in the reputation of the local congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Depending on the general attitude toward suicide in the locality, and particularly toward the case involved, the elders may prefer not to sponsor such a funeral publicly or to have it in the Kingdom Hall.

    Still, if a Christian minister is asked to preside at the funeral, he may feel that on a private basis, he can do so. If he decides to do so, he should be discreet in not making any firm statements about whether a resurrection might be possible. Any future prospect for the dead is in the hands of Jehovah, and no one is in a position to say whether the deceased will be resurrected or not. The minister can concentrate on the Bible truths about death and offer comfort for the bereaved.

  • Bangalore
    Bangalore

    Sounds like there is too much legalism in the organization.

    Bangalore

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    From what Blondie posted and from my personal understanding, each individual elder must stand by his own feelings, but the article posted gives the general impression that even a confirmed suicide could be viewed as a victim of a disorder. So I can see every last elder not wanting to do this, but if some elder or JW gave a memorial talk at the funeral home along the same lines of a JW memorial, nobody should give the family a hard time. They are on their own, so the BOE should stay out of how they handle it. They should offer comfort and stop worrying about the legalistic terms of what to do.

    WTS seems to provide every opportunity to overlook the suicide (not even the case in this situation as it is not ruled suicide) so that one of the elders can give a recruiting talk at the KH. The few cases I have known, that was always the case. They didn't miss the chance to "witness" to the relatives.

    I hope the cold shoulder helps wake them up.

  • gubberningbody
    gubberningbody

    Tell your co-worker to get the Service Desk. That nonsense has been changed.

  • cameo-d
    cameo-d

    Could the family possibly sue the elders for slander and defamation of character because of their vicious gossip?

    Seems to me they would have some legal repercussion. I know it's not the time right now, but holding those people legally accountable for the harm to her reputation in overriding the coroners rule could set a precedence and show the org for what they really are.

    In some states I think the WT has some sort of dealings with the State Insurers Commission. I would contact them about this impropriety as well and hold them responsible for giving WT a license to solicit in that state.

    What a heartless way to treat a grieving family!

  • chickpea
    chickpea

    sincere condolences to the family
    and friends dealing with the loss
    and the added cruelty of the b0rg

    the suicide at the KH i attended
    was the widow of an elder and
    the mother of a MS, several
    generations "in"...

    hers was not a "possible suicide"...
    she borrowed a firearm from a neighbour
    and blew her head off...

    she was not the first in her family
    to commit suicide and had been
    deeply depressed for decades...

    the funeral infomercial at the KH
    cited the above reasoning, presented
    by blondie, that in mental health cases
    no one can presume to judge for jah

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Brother Hawthorn in Montreal killed himself also
    They would NOT have it in the Hall
    ........................................................

    When I asked why, they said it was murder to kill yourself!!!
    But to the world they said he was killed by the Mafia....

    His wife said he left a note.
    How many times did I listen from the podium????

    " LOVE IS LONG SUFFERING & KIND
    DOESNT BEHAVE INDECENTLY,DOESNT LOOK
    AFTER ITS OWN INTERESTS!!"

    See what a loving bunch that cult is

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