Out of the Closet

by darkl1ght3r 48 Replies latest jw experiences

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Welcome aboard. Thanks for sharing.

    Isnt it great to be FREE!!!!!

    Granny/Mouthy/Grace

  • cabasilas
    cabasilas

    Thanks for sharing your experience with us. It took a lot of courage to make the break, but you don't have to live a lie any more. Welcome back to the board!

  • Hope4Others
    Hope4Others

    Hi Benjamin nice to see you back. It took a lot to make the plunge for you no doubt, I'm so glad you have found this new freedom and happiness

    you tuly are an inspiration to all.

    h4o

  • freedomisntfree
    freedomisntfree

    I wish we all myself included had the bravery to post our pics and real names on here.congrats!

  • darkl1ght3r
    darkl1ght3r

    Thanks everyone for the comments and support. A few comments on some of the posts...

    Wobble – I’m not so sure my family will ever come around as they’re HARD CORE, although I’ll never give up hoping. And yes, I plan to post a lot of my research. I have a huge stack at home that I hope could be used to help others get out. And I’ll probably post the thought process I went through of finding out that the Org. isn’t what it claims to be.

    Black Sheep – I’m sorry to hear about your situation… Yeah, I’m not sure what kind of mental/emotional state I’d be in without them. But I’m a survivor, I’d probably be OK in the long run, but I sure am glad they’re there.

    Oompa – I wouldn’t describe it as guts as much as I felt I didn’t have a choice. Something in my brain forced me to go all or nothing. I had to completely fake it or get out for good. I couldn’t stomach the former so I chose the latter.

    And the loss? I went through a period where I was in a state of panic and emotional turmoil all-day-every-day for about a month. I’d be ok one minute and then crash into depression the next. The pain and panic slowly eased, and I guess I’ve just reached a kind of peaceful acceptance. My rational mind got me through it. I just kept reminding myself, “Yeah this sucks but what can you do about it? Are you gonna go back in and pretend to believe? You’ll be more miserable than you are now because YOU KNOW it’s not the truth! Buck up and get on with your life!” I’ve always been pretty good about not stressing over things that are beyond my control (NOT a typical JW trait). I have my father to thank for that. I think about my family all the time but I’m not depressed about it anymore. I’ve kept myself busy, I try to make new friends (not easy for me believe it or not), I’m busy in my work and school, I exercise a lot (great stress reliever), and I explore hobbies that weren’t available while I was in (I love Muay Thai and MMA training).

    Awildflower – Calender??? What’s that?

    Sweet Pea – Thanks and yeah, let me know if there’s ever an ex-jw get together or something in my area. I’d love to meet a few more fellow ex-JWs.

    Bluecanary – Ummmm… thanks? Lol

    Quandry – Actually I started going back to school while I was in, and it was a class on Expository Composition and constructing a logical argument that got the ball rolling on my exit (see they’re right… college is bad… for the cult any way. Anything that gets people thinking). I realized no one who writes for the WT has ever taken that or a similar class. They break all the rules of a rational debate. They can get away with it (sort of) because the members are sufficiently controlled to the point where they only get to hear one side. I remember one section in the textbook (I loved that book) that had a list of logical fallacies to avoid when constructing a convincing argument. It read like a generic outline for damn near everything I’ve ever read from the “F&DS”. Blew my mind.

    Happyexjw – Yeah, I kick myself because I’m like, “I’m almost 30! What took me so long to figure it out?!?!” But then I realize that such thinking is pointless, because I could’ve been 40, or 50, or 60. I need to just be thankful I figured it out when I did. I just need to move on, and be happy.

    Palmtree67 – I’m sorry… it breaks my heart when I think about how difficult my exit was, and how some people had/have it much much worse than I. I don’t believe the Organization to be inherently or intentionally evil, but it is evil for the simple reason that it is so adept at destroying lives and families. I know for a fact that the “tears of grief” that have resulted from association with this organization far outnumber the “tears of joy” that it claims to inspire.

    H4O – Good to see you too! I really valued your input back while I was still trapped. Thanks.

  • Lady Liberty
    Lady Liberty

    Dear Benjamin,

    (((HUGS)))!!! Welcome to the forum!!

    We definately can relate!! We too lost most of our family and have found love in our "wordly family". My husband was a MS as well, and we were very active, with him reaching out to be a Elder. Until one day our world turned upside down. When we realized we were being lied to by the organization, we could not in clean conscience preach to others as truth something which we knew was a lie.

    When my JW Grandmother (which has shunned us for 4 years now) was trying to guilt me back was saying we need to be preaching, I explained to her why I could no longer place the literature, because of the lies we had found in them (redarding 607) she said, "Well, at least you would be doing what you were told". I told her that we could not in good conscience, that we still had to answer to Jehovah. She told me she would rather error on the side of HIS organization. I told her that was up to her but I reminded her how much Jehovah hates Liars.

    It was shortly after that that she cut us off.

    I hope you stick around here as there are many who have walked in your shoes and who can relate. In time, you will find more and more peace.

    Hang in there.

    Sincerely,

    Lady Liberty

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    Welcome back and happy to hear you've made it out! You'll meet lots of people here and now have an opportunity to be a model for the calander entitled Men of JWN, (LOL)!

    I don't know guys, this looks like another one for the calendar.........I'm just saying is all..........wf

    P.S. Give me a shout if you're ever in NE Ohio.

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse
    Anyway... life is good. Life is BETTER outside of the organization. I wish all Witnesses had the courage to put down their Watchtowers and anti-depressants, and start to live life.

    Food for thought right there.

    Welcome.

  • outofthebox
    outofthebox

    Good to knowyou man. I am glad to see a face of a fellow "unbeliever". It is sad the way the family is sometimes destroyed by a cult. I am glad you are out the cult closet man! I wish I can do the same!

    ootb

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Welcome back! Great pics!

    Josie

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