Too bad our daughter was born....

by Albert Einstein 31 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Albert Einstein

  "Too bad our daughter was born...., otherwise we could Jehovah more fully.... "

  Thats what on many occasions our long time family friend (an elder) told us. Believe it or not, they were saying this in her presence (she was 16 at the time)!!!

  I told him he never should mention something like this in her presence, becouse this is very frustrating for her and definitely must damage their relationship. He just replied: Oh, dont worry about her, she is OK, BUT, if we did not have her, we could have done much more in Jehovahs service...!"

  Iam really not making this up.. Do you have a similar experience?

  Albert

  P.S.: Their daughter left their house when she turned 18 in a very spectacular way with the first weirdo boyfriend, got pregnant, DF...etc....
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  OnTheWayOut

  At least they can be held to their statement now, and serve Jehovah more fully now that their daughter is grown and out.

  I bet they don't.
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  Kahlua

  I don't remember ever hearing my parents say anything like that out loud but I have come to believe in the last few years that my mother has always held it against me for messing up her plans.

  My father & mother had both been pioneering for a while before they got married. The plan was to marry and continue pioneering. She had even considered going to Gilead.

  9 1/2 months after they were married I appeared on the scene and pioneering came to a screaching halt along with all her other plans.

  My cousin just told me last year that she and my aunt (mom's sister) had talked about the way mom had always treated me and they decided it was because I got in the way of her plans. My cousin was very anxious about telling what they felt but finally told me what she was thinking. It was interesting I had already come to the same conclusion.
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  verystupid77

  How sad, I know it is all true but it is just so said to hear.
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  reniaa

  hi kalhua

  Have you rather than listen to hearsay from family members confronted your mum on this? You habouring these thougths and it's better to get them out.

  hi albert

  We make the choice to get married and have children they are a blessing from God the first elder was wrong to say what he did and you were right to reprimand him, Even having children we can still make time to do preaching work for Jehovah and his son Jesus, this is the principle of widows mite and doing what we can.

  Reniaa
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  carla

  I have heard of jw's getting sympathy cards when it is found out they are pregnant, anyone care to share that experience?
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  drew sagan

  I knew a number of people that were talked down upon for having kids. "What responsible person whould have a child now, especially since the end is so close?"

  Old habits die hard.
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  awildflower

  I remember at the last circuit assembly when they were doing the interviews on pioneering one brother said he was a great artist but came to the conclusion that that wasn't important, pioneering was and so he gave it up. Then the other brother described all the arrangements he had recently been making to make room for pioneering and he said the only thing that really stood in his way now "was caring for his family"! I couldn't believe it! Why do people serve a God who would want you to give up a wonderful talent or look at you family as 'in the way' to pioneering? That is not the God I know. It was really sad. So of course the message to the audience is that nothing, not art, jobs, recreation, or apparently even your family, should be first, or even a part of your life, over pioneering. Then the guilt trip sets in on us and you all know the rest of the story. I'm so glad my God is not Reniaa's God...............wf
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  Pistoff

  When I look at great art, I get a sense of the divine. I am glad that so many talented artists pursue their gift, whether it is music, painting, whatever.

  In my family my parents became incensed at the idea that any parent would talk about their children as accidents, or unplanned.

  About children: for me, they are my spiritual journey.
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  kitten whiskers

  My husbands Aunt and Uncle were Gilead graduates in a South American country when they had to move back home due to pregnancy.

  I always wondered how his cousin felt. He never seemed "close" to his parents, his dad went and did all he could, becoming the PO and doing substitute circuit overseer work. They even sold their house in anticipation of him becoming a CO. Somehow, it worked out. He made them happy. I know that they were proud of him. I don't know what he dealt with though in his heart and his own feelings.

  He went to Bethal, married a foreign girl, and moved 1,000 miles away from his parents. They followed though a couple years later, and now his father has died and his mother lives close by. His wife is very family oriented, so I imagine she has had a huge influence on their family life!

  I always hated hearing a child was an "accident". I heard that many times in the Kingdom Hall, and even as a youngster I would speak up and say "A baby isn't an accident, it's a surprise." Boy did I get some looks from these "surprised" parents! I think I shocked them a little.