Have you forgiven your parents for bringing you up in the JW cult?

by Gayle 30 Replies latest social humour

  • Gayle
    Gayle

    I had to sort through that for some years ago. I concluded my parents were victims of the Watchtower Society too. Dad was a prisoner of war, under Nazis at 19 yrs of age, almost died there due to no medicines or antibiotics and lost almost half his weight, his nerves were shot and he was drawn to the JWs promise of a new world without war. He felt he needed to have a relationship with God but unfortunately, not having much knowledge, education-wise and especially no knowledge of the organization, he fell for it. Mom, coming from a very disfunctional family, just wanted a strong marriage and family, initially just went along with dad. I don't think she would have ever been drawn to the JWs otherwise.

    However, both fell for it totally, hook, line and sinker. Thus, we five kids were strongly commanded , "as for me and my household, we will serve Jehovah!" We all "toed" the line, 4 of 5 of us were regular pioneers and 4 of 5 of us went to Bethel also. Mom died in '70 with cancer. By mid '70s, we finally started analyzing the Watchtower Society and by mid-80s, we were all out, took longer due to JW marriages with the extended family issues. Fortunately, we siblings were all very open with each other, which helped the process. Dad, an elder for many years, would get upset with us kids and our conversations were touch and go with him for awhile. Dad had been questioning things for sometime privately but caught in the "where else is there to go" syndrome.

    Finally, Ray Franz' book "Crises of Conscience" came out. That helped Dad, and then Dad was disfellowshipped for apostasy. So, that helped to see Dad willing to leave the WTS.

  • dinah
    dinah

    Only my Mom was a Witness, and yes, I can easily forgive her. She is a great Mom. Being the predators they are, the Witnesses caught her at a low point. I was born about two years later.

    I still wish she would open her eyes, but one can only hope. Really after being a Dub for over 40 years, it would be a hard blow for her at her age.

  • Dagney
    Dagney

    Gayle, WOW, your dad came out, how lucky!

    Yes, I did forgive them. I too realized it was Koolaid my parents, (especially my mom), needed...if it wasn't this, it would have been something else. She stayed in an abusive relationship with my nutcase father when told by the congregation she needed to "suffer in silence." I had heard that my whole life, but it wasn't until I processed everything after I left JW that I understood she is wounded and damaged somehow.

    I actually was able to tell her two years ago that she should never have stayed with my dad, (and mind you she is OLD..afraid at any moment she'd have a heart attack...then aiyiyi!!!), and she should have never put my brother and sister through what they went through as kids. She answered "but I never would have had you!" thinking that would make it better. I told her it didn't matter. What matters is you stand up for yourself and protect your children at all costs. So...I said it.

    Being a JW gave her importance she refused to find elsewhere. It still is kind of sickening to me. An arrogant superiority that is just so annoying.

  • flipper
    flipper

    Yes- of course I have now. I'm almost 50 so if I haven't learned to be forgiving by now- I never will. My parents who have been witnesses since 1951 ( got in at 25 yrs.old ) are now 84 and 82 but respect the fact I have faded for 6 years. My parents were just duped by cult mind control like everybody else and they were only doing what they thought was right at the time. They just wanted some kind of religious connection for their 4 children - so it could have been Presbyterian, Catholic, any other Protestant religion - they just happened to be coerced by the Jehovah's Witnesses . So I know and understand my parents motives were right- just misguided and misinformed as well as deceived by the cult.

    At times I've had a little wistful resentment towards my dad for being so devoted to his elders duties for 50 something years now that I've never REALLY gotten to know his authentic real personality like I had wished- I know mainly the uptight cult personality. My mom made up for it though- she is really cool and has a great non-cult personality , very friendly . But I've made up for my lack of closeness to my father by developing a great close relationship with my own son. Generally- I just feel sorry for my dad that he felt the need to put himself under so much pressure for years as a JW elder. And for what purpose ? I can't think of any reason important enough

  • Mary
    Mary

    I can't blame my parents as they were both raised in the damn cult too. Both my paternal and maternal grandmothers joined in the 1930s as they were promised that they would never die and their kids----my parents----would never finish elementary school.

    My dad's been retired for 15 years now.

  • Brocephus
    Brocephus

    My Parents were Converts from the Knock - Knock Field Circus... If only they'd had been at store shopping or something on that Saturday morning!

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Why the hell should I.

    They chose this cult.

    They chose to bring me up in it.

    They choose not to answer questions I have asked about it.

    They choose to still try to get me to join.

    They choose not to apologise for encouraging me to live a life of descisions based on cult doctrines.

    It is because of people like my parents that this cult exists. They may not be the leaders, but it couldn't exist without people like them supporting it.

    Smiling vipers. Evil within.

  • Leprechaun
    Leprechaun

    A little bit, I missed out on having Christmas with my family each year, I love Santa, I light my house up like freekin Casino during Christmas time. Marry Ho Ho

  • parakeet
    parakeet

    I forgave them as soon as I left the cult many years ago. They truly believed (and still do) that they did the best they could for me.

  • leftbelow
    leftbelow

    Can't blame the parents either. Both sets of grandparents joined during WWII. So both of my parents and all my aunts and unkles were raised in it. That having been said I had to overcome some resentment.

    Now I find myself happy to be out and wishing more of my family could experience the freedom I have.

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