No, I really haven't totally. But it's not that they joined the cult and raised their children in the cult. I think for the first 11-12 years of my life my parents absolutely believed everything the WTBTS taught. They were absolutely model JWs. If the JWs had a monthly magazine with an ideal JW family on the cover we would have been on the cover at least once a year.
But there was a change around the time I was 13. I think my parents started having doubts. And I am still struggling with forgiving them for not being open about their doubts with my sister and myself. They never talked about it. Ever. They still continued taking my sister and me to meetings but we weren't quite as regular as we used to be.
My father died suddenly in 1978. He hadn't attended a meeting in about a year. He never ever talked about why he was no longer attending. I had left 6 years earlier. Although my parents "allowed" me to stop attending meetings and assemblies they never discussed with me why I had made that decision.
My mother died a year ago. She would never, ever discuss anything about JWs with me or my sister even when we tried to bring it up. She refused to discuss it.
So what I have trouble forgiving is the lack of communication. How could they raise us in that evil, negative, scary doomsday cult and then just not say a word? How could they be such insensitive, cold parents? How could they be so oblivious to mine and my sister's emotional and spirtual needs?