Here goes:
Back in December when I was 8 months pregnant, my employers did not realise I was a goddess and made my job redundant. I didn't get any redundancy pay because I had worked for them for less than two years. As the main wage earner in our family, I was worried.
Five weeks later, I birthed a beautiful healthy baby boy, weighing 8lb 10oz. I didn't need any pharmaceutical pain relief, but I had the support of a really goddessly midwife, and my godly Mr Fe2O3. Since then, my scrummy boy has gained 7lb in weight, all supplied from my lovely bountiful breasts.
It's not easy looking for a job when you are immersed in baby love, let alone when there is a global recession. However, other employers have recognised my abilities, and I start a new job on Monday. Oh yeah, and I'll be earning more than at my last job.